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Over my coffee....
powdersmoke
Member Posts: 3,241
...just a few thoughts.
My father continues to weaken, death is an unavoidable enemy for all of us and will soon take another victim. I have come to accept/tolerate the inevitable. The pain of heart catches me at inopportune moments but is lessening over the course of his illness. I fear my family and friends will think me cold and callous.
The 'doctor' from Hospice was by the other day and frankly told my mother to make funeral arrangements. It is the practical thing to do. He told her he has no more than a week to 10 days, we think it will be less. No matter how much time you have it will never be enough, Should I have the power to give you 1000 years of life, no strings attached, when you reached 999 1/2 you would be cursing me since you only had 6 months left. It's never enough.
I won't be going over there today, I've been there all week, but will take care of some personal business and things around the home that need doing today.
There has been one humorous dilemma that has come from this situation. My father and his mother lied about his age when he was 16 so he could enlist in the Army. Well my mother and I had a good natured argument as to whether he was 74 or 76 and whether he was born on Nov. 29 or Sept. 23. His official date of birth is Nov. 29, 1927 his real date of birth was Sept 23, 1929. We had to give a date to the Hospice people. We kinda confused them.[:D]
On a brighter note perhaps I'll go see the grandchildren. No time for shooting though. Hey Classic and BR sorry I haven't seen you at the fleamkt lately. Been meaning to get there but, you know, circumstances.
When you wrestle a 'gator, there ain't no good end!!
"Molon Labe!" Spartan General-King Leonidas
My father continues to weaken, death is an unavoidable enemy for all of us and will soon take another victim. I have come to accept/tolerate the inevitable. The pain of heart catches me at inopportune moments but is lessening over the course of his illness. I fear my family and friends will think me cold and callous.
The 'doctor' from Hospice was by the other day and frankly told my mother to make funeral arrangements. It is the practical thing to do. He told her he has no more than a week to 10 days, we think it will be less. No matter how much time you have it will never be enough, Should I have the power to give you 1000 years of life, no strings attached, when you reached 999 1/2 you would be cursing me since you only had 6 months left. It's never enough.
I won't be going over there today, I've been there all week, but will take care of some personal business and things around the home that need doing today.
There has been one humorous dilemma that has come from this situation. My father and his mother lied about his age when he was 16 so he could enlist in the Army. Well my mother and I had a good natured argument as to whether he was 74 or 76 and whether he was born on Nov. 29 or Sept. 23. His official date of birth is Nov. 29, 1927 his real date of birth was Sept 23, 1929. We had to give a date to the Hospice people. We kinda confused them.[:D]
On a brighter note perhaps I'll go see the grandchildren. No time for shooting though. Hey Classic and BR sorry I haven't seen you at the fleamkt lately. Been meaning to get there but, you know, circumstances.
When you wrestle a 'gator, there ain't no good end!!
"Molon Labe!" Spartan General-King Leonidas
Comments
I understand just what you are going tru. I am going to visit with my dad today the doctor told us a couple of weeks ago that he wouldn't give dad more than six months. between dad and granddad I had two of the best friends and the best insight to life. lost granddad a while back and still miss him how I will get over the loss of my dad I don't. But like you I have faced the fact that I can't change it. Today I will show him a plaque that I had made for his first new shotgun an old stevens bolt action in 20 ga the first gun shotgun he let me hunt with it is now a family legacy and will be pass down on my side of the family. I know that the gun isn't worth more than &75 or so but it couldn't be bought from me for millions.
Hope that your father passes in a peacfull way, my prayer's are with you.
Ron
Son if you didn't learn something today, you wasted the whole day. (Jasper N. Lee, my granddaddy)
think your cold or callous, that's their problem. We all grieve
differently. Some cannot handle being in the reality of the
situation of impending death continuously. It wears on you.
Its draining in a way that is hard to describe. It hurts period.
Take the time and do something fun today. I know your father
wouldn't mind it.
We had a family friend who I helped care for for nearly a yr.
at home. When my sister moved him to a nursing home, I could
not stand to see him there. I'd worked in nursing homes for
about 13 yrs. I loved him as a friend, but couldn't stand to
go there. I can't describe why.
think your cold or callous, that's their problem. We all grieve
differently. Some cannot handle being in the reality of the
situation of impending death continuously. It wears on you.
Its draining in a way that is hard to describe. It hurts period.
Take the time and do something fun today. I know your father
wouldn't mind it.
We had a family friend who I helped care for for nearly a yr.
at home. When my sister moved him to a nursing home, I could
not stand to see him there. I'd worked in nursing homes for
about 13 yrs. I loved him as a friend, but couldn't stand to
go there. I can't describe why.
Keep that in mind...it hurts then, more so than if unexpected...I dont have the reasons for it although when I took my training I was told it happens that way to enable us to do what we have too (caring for them and the family)..
The flea market will always be there, if not that one, then another one...You have more important things to do right now than meeting us for a coffee or walk about...We are right here for you, now and later, give us a call anytime just to talk...
Your and the family will remain in our prayers..
Lil' Stinker's Opinion
A few months ago, Dad called around midnight and said Mom had a stroke and was going to the ICU. I left immediately for the 8+ hour drive to Nashville, and spent pretty much the rest of the week at the hospital.
I came home after the Dr. said she'd never regain conciousness, and Dad said he and Mom had an "agreement" in case this situation ever befell one of them. I knew what was coming but didn't know when they would remove life support.
I got the call from Dad the day prior to that event and packed my bags for another drive. The next morning, I could not bring myself to watch at her bedside while she passed because I was so overcome by emotion. I wanted to try to remember her the way she was, and seeing her in the condition she was in wasn't going to help me with that.
So, if you can be at his side when it's your Dad's time, I consider you a far better man than me, because I didn't have the guts to do what you soon must.
Respectfully,
Kevin
I wish I could help you.
God Bless America and...
NEVER Forget WACO
NEVER, EVER Forget 911