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Police quotes
alledan
Member Posts: 19,541
These are actual police officer quotes collected from numerous people stopped for moving traffic violations.
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"
"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
"Warning! You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."
"In God we trust, all others are suspects."
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"
"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
"Warning! You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."
"In God we trust, all others are suspects."
Comments
Police Quotes:
"The handcuffs are tight because they're new.
They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write
anything
I want on the ticket, huh?"
"Warning?! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or
I'll give you another ticket."
"The answer to this question will determine whether you are drunk or not.
Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."
"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're
allowed to write as
many tickets as we want."
"Just how big were those two beers?
"In God we trust, all others are suspects."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The cop had stopped a young driver for speeding and when the kid rolled down
his window,
the cop chided, "I've been waiting for you all day". With bold cheerfulness,
the teen fired back,
"Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
ticket.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A truck driver was traveling down freeway when a sign appeared reading "LOW
BRIDGE AHEAD."
Before he could react, he entered the bridge and found himself stuck under
it.
Cars became backed up for miles.
Finally, a highway patrolman showed up. He slowly walked toward the
unfortunate trucker,
wondering if this was an accident or what, put his hands on his hips and
said, "Got stuck, huh?"
The exasperated truck driver replied, "No, I was delivering this bridge and
ran out of gas."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man in no shape to drive, wisely left his car parked and walked home.
As he wobbled unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman.
"What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" asked the officer.
"I'm going to a lecture." the man answered.
"And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked.
"My wife." said the man
Then said he unto them, But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: And he that hath no sword,let him sell his garment, and buy one
I was trying to hurry up and get to a gas station before I ran out of gas!
Screw Allah & Have a Great Day!