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Little guy is taking it hard

hk-91hk-91 Member Posts: 10,050
edited February 2011 in General Discussion
My yougest is 4 and has been able to sleep with his mommy every night 2 sence he can remember. Well last week i started first shift ( been working the grave yard for the last 8 years) and he just isnt taking it to well not being able to sleep with mommy. So now with my kids being the only one to be able to break dadys stone cold heart ( wifes words ) i'm now waiting here for him to fall asleep with mommy so daddy can carry him to bed so daddy can sleep with her. ( hopping i get some awsome browning points for this). with the wink i got from her it will be well worth the wait. Anyway just board and thought i would rant for a bit.

Comments

  • reloader44magreloader44mag Member Posts: 19,356 ✭✭
    edited November -1
  • hk-91hk-91 Member Posts: 10,050
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by reloader44mag
    good luck



    May need it, this isnt the first time nor will it be the last time i have waited for one of my sons to fall asleep with there mom so i could carry them to bed. most times ( 95% ) i come in to find them both asleep and just dont have the heart to wake her.
  • reloader44magreloader44mag Member Posts: 19,356 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by hk-91
    quote:Originally posted by reloader44mag
    good luck



    May need it, this isnt the first time nor will it be the last time i have waited for one of my sons to fall asleep with there mom so i could carry them to bed. most times ( 95% ) i come in to find them both asleep and just dont have the heart to wake her.
    I can relate to that...I have found the kids when asleep are fairly easy to move to bed...even if they have to walk...good luck and glad you are working...reloader44mag
  • tneff1969tneff1969 Member Posts: 6,682 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I actually sleep better when my son is crashing with us, wife don't like it though. The kicks to the back of the head do get old after a few, karm I reckon. [:)]
  • hooch31Lhooch31L Member Posts: 1,650 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Had the same thing myself. I found bribery works best. Better to start on the weekend.
  • barbwiredbarbwired Member Posts: 8,254
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by hooch31L
    Had the same thing myself. I found bribery works best. Better to start on the weekend.
    Which one do you bribe?
  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427
    edited November -1
    A habit I would have never allowed.

    Hope things turn out well for you, but I don't have high hopes.
  • Locust ForkLocust Fork Member Posts: 30,948 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Its actually a LOT better if you guys can stand to really be persistent for a few days. You can make it last years....or five days. Its hard, but walk him to his bed and every time he gets out of it place him back in there. Have a routine....one that you can do at a specific time every nite. You brush your teeth, read a small book in the bed, brush his head for a minute and say your "goodnites" and after a few days its like MAGIC!!!!

    I was really bad with my son too....he was so cuddly it was hard to let him go. Now he's only snuggly if he slips and forgets he is a teenager (it happens, but not anywhere near as much as I'd like!)
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  • fishkiller41fishkiller41 Member Posts: 50,608
    edited November -1
    Yeah,,, the ol' "Kids sleeping with Mom" deal,rarely has a "HAPPY ENDING".(if U foll my drift)[;)]

    "Drift" get it? U guys are gonna have DRIFTS the size of MOUNTAINS!![B)][:0]
  • reloader44magreloader44mag Member Posts: 19,356 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by fishkiller41
    Yeah,,, the ol' "Kids sleeping with Mom" deal,rarely has a "HAPPY ENDING".(if U foll my drift)[;)]

    "Drift" get it? U guys are gonna have DRIFTS the size of MOUNTAINS!![B)][:0]
    you are bleened up
  • storm6490storm6490 Member Posts: 8,010
    edited November -1
    am i just from an odd family or something? my daughter is 8 months and she falls asleep on my chest once in a while when im holding her, but we don't sleep with out kids. i never got to sleep with my mom or dad. maybe when i was just a little baby that couldn't walk, but not after that...

    Is is good to have the kids sleep with the parents? Wouldn't that start all sorts of psychological things like equal rank, screwed up sleep cycles, loss of personal space?

    New to this.... Help a newbie out!
  • hk-91hk-91 Member Posts: 10,050
    edited November -1
    ya drifts, hell dont tell me about drifts. thats all i have delt with for the last 6 months is drifts anywere from 6 inches to 7 feet.
  • ChrisInTempeChrisInTempe Member Posts: 15,562
    edited November -1
    It is a strange thing perhaps, but among my fondest memory of the whole "Surviving The Toddler Experience" is holding a not quite three years old with her head on my shoulder as she first wailed about not wanting to go to bed, until it all slows down and she slips into a deep sleep. Must of sat there an hour until she finally unwound enough. My shirt all damp from her crying over wanting to always sleep in Mommy's bed.

    About three hours later I am awakened by a camera flash from said Mommy ... as I'd fallen asleep myself half in/out of the toddler bed with the kiddo snoozing on top of me.

    Man did I have a sore neck the next day ... weird angle.

    Well earned though [:)]
  • kidthatsirishkidthatsirish Member Posts: 6,955 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    How on earth did this work for the past four years man? My oldest is 17 months and he has been sleeping in his own crib (in another room) since he was 3 months old. Im not passing judgement, because I certainly dont know your full situation or any conditions they boy or mom may have that (traumatic experince as a toddler maybe?). I just dont know how you both were able to do that.

    Anyway, as mentioned before, have a set way before bed time, it makes the transition easier.

    For my son, we have bath time (if its a bath night), then we get into PJs, brush our teeth (he has that toddler toothpaste, and only 6 teeth), then we sit in the rocker by his crib, read a story book (he pretty much just looks at the pictures and touches some of the hair on the pet pics), then we do goodnight kisses, lay down, blanket, then sippie cup, then we crack the door and let him fall to sleep.

    Works great 13 of 14 times. (he has about one cranky night every two weeks).


    This might help, I hope it does.[:)]
  • reloader44magreloader44mag Member Posts: 19,356 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Nothing wrong with a child sleeping with mom or dad or both if needed ...now and again....but the kid has to have their own bed early....my 2 cents....my 16 year old daughter enjoys laying/ sleeping in bed with my wife on weekend mornings....my 2 cents
  • Gav-n-TnGav-n-Tn Member Posts: 300 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    My 16 year old fell asleep watching TV the other night. Instead of getting him up and sending him on, she (wife) decided to just get in the middle. I told her that I'd better not be imposed upon during the night over room, cover, etc.. Well....I didn't get the first minutes' sleep and made a global -and VERY grumpy- announcement the next morning that the only time was the last time. That was ridiculous.
  • Locust ForkLocust Fork Member Posts: 30,948 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by Gav-n-Tn
    My 16 year old fell asleep watching TV the other night. Instead of getting him up and sending him on, she (wife) decided to just get in the middle. I told her that I'd better not be imposed upon during the night over room, cover, etc.. Well....I didn't get the first minutes' sleep and made a global -and VERY grumpy- announcement the next morning that the only time was the last time. That was ridiculous.


    That sounds so sweet. Your wife is probably like me...just hanging onto every "you're still my baby" moment.
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  • Gav-n-TnGav-n-Tn Member Posts: 300 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by Locust Fork
    quote:Originally posted by Gav-n-Tn
    My 16 year old fell asleep watching TV the other night. Instead of getting him up and sending him on, she (wife) decided to just get in the middle. I told her that I'd better not be imposed upon during the night over room, cover, etc.. Well....I didn't get the first minutes' sleep and made a global -and VERY grumpy- announcement the next morning that the only time was the last time. That was ridiculous.


    That sounds so sweet. Your wife is probably like me...just hanging onto every "you're still my baby" moment.
    That's exactly what it is. He had some health issues when he was younger so...............well you know.
  • fishkiller41fishkiller41 Member Posts: 50,608
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by reloader44mag
    Nothing wrong with a child sleeping with mom or dad or both if needed ...now and again....but the kid has to have their own bed early....my 2 cents....my 16 year old daughter enjoys laying/ sleeping in bed with my wife on weekend mornings....my 2 cents
    THAT SIR, is BLEENED UP!!Well, actually that's not bad at all.It's sleeping all night/overnight that's badly bleened up..
  • coltpaxcoltpax Member Posts: 8,114
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by fishkiller41
    quote:Originally posted by reloader44mag
    Nothing wrong with a child sleeping with mom or dad or both if needed ...now and again....but the kid has to have their own bed early....my 2 cents....my 16 year old daughter enjoys laying/ sleeping in bed with my wife on weekend mornings....my 2 cents
    THAT SIR, is BLEENED UP!!


    bleening bleen it! What exactly is a bleen? Where do bleens come from?
  • fishkiller41fishkiller41 Member Posts: 50,608
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by coltpax
    quote:Originally posted by fishkiller41
    quote:Originally posted by reloader44mag
    Nothing wrong with a child sleeping with mom or dad or both if needed ...now and again....but the kid has to have their own bed early....my 2 cents....my 16 year old daughter enjoys laying/ sleeping in bed with my wife on weekend mornings....my 2 cents
    THAT SIR, is BLEENED UP!!


    bleening bleen it! What exactly is a bleen? Where do bleens come from?
    Didn't your Pappy give U the "TALK"?
    WELL... When a man and a woman REALLY love each other.........[:D][:D]
  • coltpaxcoltpax Member Posts: 8,114
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by fishkiller41
    quote:Originally posted by coltpax
    quote:Originally posted by fishkiller41
    quote:Originally posted by reloader44mag
    Nothing wrong with a child sleeping with mom or dad or both if needed ...now and again....but the kid has to have their own bed early....my 2 cents....my 16 year old daughter enjoys laying/ sleeping in bed with my wife on weekend mornings....my 2 cents
    THAT SIR, is BLEENED UP!!


    bleening bleen it! What exactly is a bleen? Where do bleens come from?
    Didn't your Pappy give U the "TALK"?
    WELL... When a man and a woman REALLY love each other.........[:D][:D]


    So that's what a bleen is? Sounded like some sort of aquatic wildlife to me. So, bleen = F bomb?
  • swampgutswampgut Member Posts: 5,555
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by storm6490
    am i just from an odd family or something? my daughter is 8 months and she falls asleep on my chest once in a while when im holding her, but we don't sleep with out kids. i never got to sleep with my mom or dad. maybe when i was just a little baby that couldn't walk, but not after that...

    Is is good to have the kids sleep with the parents? Wouldn't that start all sorts of psychological things like equal rank, screwed up sleep cycles, loss of personal space?

    New to this.... Help a newbie out!




    Yes, yes and YES.

    I never slept with my parents but my youngest brother did.

    I don't think all of his issues can be chalked up to that experience but it sure as hell complicated things unnecessarily.

    I'm single and my dogs do sleep with me.

    I would say they have "rank" issues but I don't mind so much because they're not putting anybody else off the pecking order since there isn't anybody else.

    I can't imagine a couple sleeping with kids in the bed overnight.
  • kidthatsirishkidthatsirish Member Posts: 6,955 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by storm6490
    am i just from an odd family or something? my daughter is 8 months and she falls asleep on my chest once in a while when im holding her, but we don't sleep with out kids. i never got to sleep with my mom or dad. maybe when i was just a little baby that couldn't walk, but not after that...

    Is is good to have the kids sleep with the parents? Wouldn't that start all sorts of psychological things like equal rank, screwed up sleep cycles, loss of personal space?

    New to this.... Help a newbie out!




    Actually, You brint up a good point about it may not be good for parents to sleep with their kids. Espicially when they are young, do many children die each year because mom or dad rolls on top of them. I would not want that on my heart.[V]
  • anatomically correctanatomically correct Member Posts: 1,045 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    In many cultures the children sleep w/mom and dad. It was an early form of birth control and a way to space children out. The boy will be independent soon enough and you'll miss knowing he is next to you, safe and sound.
  • allen griggsallen griggs Member Posts: 34,338 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Get him out of that bed, or he will become a sissy.
  • CaptFunCaptFun Member Posts: 16,677 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by allen griggs
    Get him out of that bed, or he will become a sissy.


    Momma's boy. Don't want that.
    [;)]
  • KEVD18KEVD18 Member Posts: 15,037
    edited November -1
    i cant imagine sleeping with a parent or parent much past walking age. before that, its pretty normal, after that its kind of weird. best to break that habit as early as possible.

    im a fan of the concept of making a child independent as early as possible and practical. its been my experience that the longer you molly coddle a child, the harder the transition into real life is. of course, some of you have clothing older than me, so my viewpoint is that of a person who isnt that far removed from childhood.

    4 years old strikes me as awful old to still be crawling into bed with mommy/daddy. clearly not old enough to be independent in the global sense, but plenty old enough to be sleeping through the night in their own bed. then again, every family is different. hell, there are kids older than that still breast feeding......
  • hk-91hk-91 Member Posts: 10,050
    edited November -1
    Guess i should have mentioned the reason he started sleeping with my wife is that i use to work the night shift. This son was born with seizure problems . They started the day we brought him home and he had to be life flighted 100 miles to the city and spent the first month and a half in the NICU. After that the wife just didnt feel safe with out him sleeping with her so she would wake if something happend at night. With meds and being seizure free for a year now she's feeling alittle better about him sleeping in his own room now that i'm home.
  • CaptFunCaptFun Member Posts: 16,677 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by hk-91
    Guess i should have mentioned the reason he started sleeping with my wife is that i use to work the night shift. This son was born with seizure problems . They started the day we brought him home and he had to be life flighted 100 miles to the city and spent the first month and a half in the NICU. After that the wife just didnt feel safe with out him sleeping with her so she would wake if something happend at night. With meds and being seizure free for a year now she's feeling alittle better about him sleeping in his own room now that i'm home.


    Glad he's doing better. My neice locked up like that when she was little. Scary.

    When my girls were little they would either fall asleep with Mommy breast feeding or when they woke up to eat, I would bring them to her. No big deal. That said when I was at SHOT the last two weeks I'd bet good money both of them were in my bed with Mom most if not every night.
  • KEVD18KEVD18 Member Posts: 15,037
    edited November -1
    that sort of changes the picture, but then begs the question what is a logical quitting point for you? you cant have him within arms length forever, so when is it time to start lengthening the cord? thats a question only you can answer and unfortunately, outside advice becomes almost irrelevant since none of us are actually on the ground with you.
  • River RatRiver Rat Member Posts: 9,022
    edited November -1
    A good habit to break, sometime before Boot Camp does it for you.
  • anatomically correctanatomically correct Member Posts: 1,045 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    As newly weds, his wife might object. Seems to me like you'd want to have broken the "habit" by then. Give the kid a break. Soon enough you won't be able to walk through his room to wake him up for school.
  • ruger41ruger41 Member Posts: 14,585 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    We have 14 month old twin girls--very very rarely do they sleep with us-maybe if a bad dream or something and we put them back to bed when they fall asleep. Not to mention it is hazardous for infants to be sleeping in the bed with adults. It is far too easy for them to be suffocated-plus I don't want them to start a habit that will be a PITA to break, they have their own beds-no matter that you say you can feel them there-my friend who is a fireman has answered too many calls to count where parents let the baby sleep in the bed to wake up with a dead child. You do what you feel is best for you & yours but I don't think it's a great idea.
  • pietro75pietro75 Member Posts: 7,048
    edited November -1
    Our youngest boy David started sneaking into bed early in the morning when he was very young. I dubbed him "The Iron Curtain". Our Rylie will not be in bed w/ us.

    David has tried to slip in a couple times recently and he gets shut down.

    HK- Your patient approach is probably the best as this will create less trouble for you with the wife and let your little man know you mean business. Keep it up.

    Nick- Unless you want an "Iron Curtain" of you own, make sure that you child sleeps in their own room. I think this promotes independence, and self-reliance.

    Our youngest(Iron Curtain) is the least independent of the bunch. I attribute this to the loss of our two sons and my wife hoping to cling on to her last baby. Now w/ Rylie she is helping her independence by having her sleep in her own room.
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