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Is this what happened to us (JOKE)
TooBig
Member Posts: 28,559 ✭✭✭
Subject: That time of year.....
FROM: Maria Mercer, Departmental Administrator
TO: All Employees
DATE: 8th. November 2007
RE: Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols .. please feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if your boss shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $20.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!
Merry Christmas to you and your Family.
Maria
FROM: Maria Mercer, Departmental Administrator
TO: All Employees
DATE: 9th. November 2007
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognise that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party". The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Maria
FROM: Maria Mercer, Departmental Administrator
TO: All Employees
DATE: 10th. November 2007
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table . you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!!!
How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the cheap employees feel that $20.00 is too much money and Management believes $20.00 is a little cheap.
NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Maria
FROM: Maria Mercer, Departmental Administrator
TO: All Employees
DATE: 11th. November 2007
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslin employees' beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorrry!
Did I miss anything ?!?!?!?!
Maria
FROM: Maria Mercer, Departmental Administrator
TO: All F****** Employees
DATE: 12th. November 2007
RE: The F****** Holiday Party
Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know tomatoes have feelings too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW !! I hope you all have a rotten holiday .
The * from HELL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FROM: Brid Forde, Acting Departmental Administrator
DATE: 13th. November 2007
RE: Maria Mercer and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Maria Mercer a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.
Happy Holidays !
FROM: Maria Mercer, Departmental Administrator
TO: All Employees
DATE: 8th. November 2007
RE: Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols .. please feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if your boss shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $20.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!
Merry Christmas to you and your Family.
Maria
FROM: Maria Mercer, Departmental Administrator
TO: All Employees
DATE: 9th. November 2007
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognise that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party". The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Maria
FROM: Maria Mercer, Departmental Administrator
TO: All Employees
DATE: 10th. November 2007
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table . you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!!!
How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the cheap employees feel that $20.00 is too much money and Management believes $20.00 is a little cheap.
NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Maria
FROM: Maria Mercer, Departmental Administrator
TO: All Employees
DATE: 11th. November 2007
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslin employees' beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorrry!
Did I miss anything ?!?!?!?!
Maria
FROM: Maria Mercer, Departmental Administrator
TO: All F****** Employees
DATE: 12th. November 2007
RE: The F****** Holiday Party
Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know tomatoes have feelings too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW !! I hope you all have a rotten holiday .
The * from HELL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FROM: Brid Forde, Acting Departmental Administrator
DATE: 13th. November 2007
RE: Maria Mercer and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Maria Mercer a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.
Happy Holidays !
Comments
It's a free country...
Feel free not to join, and arrange a christmasparty any way you please.
If muslims or jews or vegetarians don't like it - they're free not to join.
I uphold my right to NOT join the Ramadan (which fell far earlier this year than right around christmas, by the way! - and yes, theres a muslim in my 4 person office. He's in the cubicle next to mine.)
fyi...it's a joke
No, buddy, it is NOT a joke, it is reality.
Our Executive Director announced last month that there would be no agency Christmas party this year. His excuse being that he is tired of hearing complaints from the few people (maybe 5) who are not scheduled to work at that time of the day having to attend on their own time without pay, when for the rest of the agency (probably about 200 people), it's a paid 3 hours.
So, the entire agency get penalized because he had to field a few comlaints from a few employees.
Reminds me of the little kid who doesn't get his way and is going to take his ball and go home.
I think he is just a cheap bastage....needs to cut costs somewhere to make the payments on his Beemer, and his Porche, and his Mercedes....
His excuse being that he is tired of hearing complaints from the few people (maybe 5) who are not scheduled to work at that time of the day having to attend on their own time without pay, when for the rest of the agency (probably about 200 people), it's a paid 3 hours.
Now THIS is a JOKE. If that's the way it is, it is safe to say "Welcome to Soviet Union".
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table . you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!!!