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Eve talks to God (Joke?)
HAIRY
Member Posts: 23,606
Eve talks to God.
"Lord"?
"Yes, Eve"
"I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake but I'm just not happy."
"And why is that Eve?"
"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"Man? What is that Lord?"
"A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he is aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he will also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's the catch Lord?" "
"Well...you can have him on one condition."
"And what's that, Lord?"
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring...so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret. "You know, Woman to Woman."[}:)]
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
Hypocrisy is the homage paid by vice to virtue.
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
"Lord"?
"Yes, Eve"
"I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake but I'm just not happy."
"And why is that Eve?"
"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"Man? What is that Lord?"
"A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he is aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he will also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's the catch Lord?" "
"Well...you can have him on one condition."
"And what's that, Lord?"
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring...so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret. "You know, Woman to Woman."[}:)]
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
Hypocrisy is the homage paid by vice to virtue.
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
Comments
"It is hard to soar with Eagles when your surrounded by Turkeys"
"I dont care how thin you make a pancake, it still has two sides"
"A wise man is a man that realizes just how little he knows.
Isn't that the truth [:)]
NRA Life Member ---"A pocket knife, a clean hankey, and a pistol... things I can use." - Ted Nugent
"Been around the world and seen that only stupid people are breeding.The cretins cloning and feeding,and I don't even own a T.V."---Harvey Danger
"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it that the former does not submit to hereditary predjudices, but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence." - Albert E.
On my tombstone:"Keep you eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel..."the Lizard King