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Why parents drink
Ford 23
Member Posts: 3,129
Why Parents Drink
A father walked past his son's bedroom and was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope prominently propped up on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad".
With the worse premonition, he opened the envelope, and with trembling hands, he read the letter.
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I am writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I have been finding real passion with Stacie and she is so nice.
But I know you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion.Dad, she's pregnant.
Stacie said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share the dream of having many more children.
Stacie has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacie can get better. She deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I know I'm only 15, but I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I know we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love, Your son, John
PS: Dad, none of this is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in the world than a report card that is in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.
A father walked past his son's bedroom and was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope prominently propped up on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad".
With the worse premonition, he opened the envelope, and with trembling hands, he read the letter.
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I am writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I have been finding real passion with Stacie and she is so nice.
But I know you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion.Dad, she's pregnant.
Stacie said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share the dream of having many more children.
Stacie has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacie can get better. She deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I know I'm only 15, but I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I know we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love, Your son, John
PS: Dad, none of this is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in the world than a report card that is in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.
Comments
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick one day. Needing to have an urgent problem with one of the main computers resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. ' Hello ? '
'Is your daddy home?' he asked.
' Yes ,' whispered the small voice.
May I talk with him?'
The child whispered, ' No .'
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mommy there?' ' Yes '
'May I talk with her?' Again the small voice whispered, ' No '
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else there?'
' Yes ,' whispered the child, ' a policeman . '
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the bos s asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'
' No, he's busy , ' whispered the child.
'Busy doing what?'
' Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman , ' came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'
' A helicopter! ' answered the whispering voice.
'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered,
' The search team just landed a helicopter '
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching for?'
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...
' ME . '
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't
really hurt anyone.. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son Cody,
P.S.. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than
the report card that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home
A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had
not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one
of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone
number and was greeted with a child's whisper. " Hello ? "
"Is your daddy home?" he asked.
" Yes ," whispered the small voice.
May I talk with him?"
The child whispered, " No ."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked,
"Is your Mommy there?" " Yes ."
"May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, " No ."
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message,
the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
" Yes ," whispered the child, " a policeman ".
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home,
the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
" No, he's busy ", whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
" Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman ," came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through
the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
" A helicopter " answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, " The search team just landed a helicopter ."
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle... " ME ."
arrived one day and had not phoned in sick. Having an urgent
problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the
employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's
whisper.
"Hello?"
"Is your daddy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is
your Mommy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message,
the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman".
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the
boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy", whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered
answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background
through the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A helicopter" answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly
apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just
landed a helicopter."
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What
are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"ME."
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.
But, I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people who live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love, Your Son John
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the bad Report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.
A father passing by his son?s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed ?To DAD.?
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I?m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is real nice. But I knew you and Mom would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes, and the fact that she is much older than me.
But that?s not the only reason ? Dad she?s pregnant.
Stacy has said that we will be very happy together, and she owns her own trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood that should last the whole winter We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn?t really hurt anyone. We will be growing it for ourselves and trading it with other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Don?t worry Dad, I?m 15 and know how to take care of myself. Someday I?m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love, Your Son John
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I?m over at Tommy?s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the Report Card that?s in my top center desk drawer.
I love you. Call me when it?s safe to come home.