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Serious Injury!!- Joke!
sig232
Member Posts: 8,018
Subject: * injuries
A description of my Church service yesterday morning.
A woman named Jill stood up at her church's Testimony Meeting, or as
some
churches call it, "Cry Sunday", one Sunday morning, took the microphone
from one of the church ushers, and bared her soul to the enrapt
congregation: "I want to tell you about the awful accident that my
husband,
Jack, has suffered this past month. He was riding his bike, lost
control,
ran off the highway and hit a tree. He was rushed to the hospital, and
could have died, but thank the Lord, all he suffered was a broken
scrotum."
The congregation gasped in horror. The men in the congregation were
obviously uneasy and writhed in their seats. Jack has been in terrible
pain
all month since the accident. He has trouble breathing. He has
trouble
swallowing his food. He can hardly lift anything, he's in so much
pain,
and he has missed work because of it. He can't lift our children up to
hold them and give them the personal love that they need. Worst of
all, we
can no longer cuddle and have intimate relations. He is in constant
pain,
a pain so terrible that our love life has all but slipped away into
oblivion. I would like to ask you all in the congregation to pray for
Jack,
and pray for us, that his broken scrotum will soon heal and be as good
as
new."
A dull murmur erupted within the congregation as the full impact of
this
terrible accident sunk in, and the men in the congregation were visibly
shaken up with the thought that, "There but for the grace of God go I."
Then, as the murmuring settled down, a lone figure stood up in midst of
the
congregation, worked his way up to the pulpit, obviously in pain,
adjusted
the microphone to his liking, then leaned over and said to the
congregation: "My name is Jack, and I have only one word for my wife,
Jill". That word is: "STERNUM!"
A description of my Church service yesterday morning.
A woman named Jill stood up at her church's Testimony Meeting, or as
some
churches call it, "Cry Sunday", one Sunday morning, took the microphone
from one of the church ushers, and bared her soul to the enrapt
congregation: "I want to tell you about the awful accident that my
husband,
Jack, has suffered this past month. He was riding his bike, lost
control,
ran off the highway and hit a tree. He was rushed to the hospital, and
could have died, but thank the Lord, all he suffered was a broken
scrotum."
The congregation gasped in horror. The men in the congregation were
obviously uneasy and writhed in their seats. Jack has been in terrible
pain
all month since the accident. He has trouble breathing. He has
trouble
swallowing his food. He can hardly lift anything, he's in so much
pain,
and he has missed work because of it. He can't lift our children up to
hold them and give them the personal love that they need. Worst of
all, we
can no longer cuddle and have intimate relations. He is in constant
pain,
a pain so terrible that our love life has all but slipped away into
oblivion. I would like to ask you all in the congregation to pray for
Jack,
and pray for us, that his broken scrotum will soon heal and be as good
as
new."
A dull murmur erupted within the congregation as the full impact of
this
terrible accident sunk in, and the men in the congregation were visibly
shaken up with the thought that, "There but for the grace of God go I."
Then, as the murmuring settled down, a lone figure stood up in midst of
the
congregation, worked his way up to the pulpit, obviously in pain,
adjusted
the microphone to his liking, then leaned over and said to the
congregation: "My name is Jack, and I have only one word for my wife,
Jill". That word is: "STERNUM!"
Comments
A description of my Church service yesterday morning. A woman named Jill stood up at her church's Testimony Meeting, or as some churches call it, "Cry Sunday", one Sunday morning, took the microphone from one of the church ushers, and bared her soul to the enrapt congregation: "I want to tell you about the awful accident that my husband, Jack, has suffered this past month. He was riding his bike, lost control, ran off the highway and hit a tree. He was rushed to the hospital, and could have died, but thank the Lord, all he suffered was a broken scrotum. "The congregation gasped in horror. The men in the congregation were obviously uneasy and writhed in their seats. Jack has been in terrible pain all month since the accident. He has trouble breathing. He has trouble swallowing his food. He can hardly lift anything, he's in so much pain, and he has missed work because of it. He can't lift our children up to hold them and give them the personal love that they need. Worst of all, we can no longer cuddle and have intimate relations. He is in constant pain, a pain so terrible that our love life has all but slipped away into oblivion. I would like to ask you all in the congregation to pray for Jack, and pray for us, that his broken scrotum will soon heal and be as good as new." A dull murmur erupted within the congregation as the full impact of this terrible accident sunk in, and the men in the congregation were visibly shaken up with the thought that, "There but for the grace of God go I." Then, as the murmuring settled down, a lone figure stood up in midst of the congregation, worked his way up to the pulpit, obviously in pain, adjusted the microphone to his liking, then leaned over and said to the congregation: "My name is Jack, and I have only one word for my wife, Jill". That word is: "STERNUM!"