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American Legion Parting Shots (Humor) July 2008
JamesRK
Member Posts: 25,670 ✭✭✭
The other day, I broke 70. That's a lot of golf clubs.
A LOADED MINIVAN pulled into the only remaining campsite. Four children leaped from the vehicle and quickly began unloading gear and setting up the tent. The boys rushed to gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking utensils. A nearby camper marveled to the youngsters' father, "That, sir, is some display of teamwork."
The father replied, "I have a system.
No one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up."
MOM AND DAD tried to console their young son, but the boy would have none of it. "You know, Jeffrey," his father said, "it's not your fault the dog died. He's probably up in heaven right now with God."
Jeffrey retorted, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
THE BUSINESSMAN dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped down, exhausted.
His sympathetic wife was right there with a cool drink and a comforting word. "My, you look tired," she said. "You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?"
"It was terrible," her husband said. "The computer broke down, and we had to do our own thinking."
THE ZIP CODE in Washington, D.C., is being changed to 00000. Nothing there adds up, anyway.
"NOW, THEY LOOK like a happily married couple," the husband remarked.
"Don't be too sure, dear," his wife replied.
"They're probably saying the same thing about us."
A YOUNG BOY arrived home from his first day at school. "Nothing exciting happened," he told his mother, "except the teacher didn't know how to spell 'cat', so I told her."
"BOY, IT IS HARD to keep up with all these crises we have in America. Remember last week, when everybody in America was obese? Remember that? This week there's a food shortage. What happened over the weekend? Did we pig out and eat all the food?" - Jay Lena
A LOADED MINIVAN pulled into the only remaining campsite. Four children leaped from the vehicle and quickly began unloading gear and setting up the tent. The boys rushed to gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking utensils. A nearby camper marveled to the youngsters' father, "That, sir, is some display of teamwork."
The father replied, "I have a system.
No one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up."
MOM AND DAD tried to console their young son, but the boy would have none of it. "You know, Jeffrey," his father said, "it's not your fault the dog died. He's probably up in heaven right now with God."
Jeffrey retorted, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
THE BUSINESSMAN dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped down, exhausted.
His sympathetic wife was right there with a cool drink and a comforting word. "My, you look tired," she said. "You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?"
"It was terrible," her husband said. "The computer broke down, and we had to do our own thinking."
THE ZIP CODE in Washington, D.C., is being changed to 00000. Nothing there adds up, anyway.
"NOW, THEY LOOK like a happily married couple," the husband remarked.
"Don't be too sure, dear," his wife replied.
"They're probably saying the same thing about us."
A YOUNG BOY arrived home from his first day at school. "Nothing exciting happened," he told his mother, "except the teacher didn't know how to spell 'cat', so I told her."
"BOY, IT IS HARD to keep up with all these crises we have in America. Remember last week, when everybody in America was obese? Remember that? This week there's a food shortage. What happened over the weekend? Did we pig out and eat all the food?" - Jay Lena
The road to hell is paved with COMPROMISE.