In order to participate in the GunBroker Member forums, you must be logged in with your GunBroker.com account. Click the sign-in button at the top right of the forums page to get connected.

mom is at it again

Winston BodeWinston Bode Member Posts: 1,628 ✭✭✭✭✭
edited March 2015 in General Discussion
Well my mother is at it again. She left Saturday night about 6:30 going back to her home in benbrook, Texas. This is a 2 hour drive from Greenville, Texas. We immediately started that way because we figured she'd get lost. We got to the house about 8:30 pm but no mom. Called her cell phone and she answers and says she's two minutes out. To make a long story short, she never made it and eventually got mad and stopped answering her cell phone. We waited at the house till midnight but still no mom. With nothing else to do we called it a night and came home. Oh and we had a silver alert out about an hour after we learned she was leaving. We contacted the neighbor to keep a watch out for us and tell us if or when mom shows up. She texts the next morning about 7:15 am and says mom made it home. 12 hours to mAke a two hour trip. We went and got her and brought her back to the assisted living facility where she's been staying. Today about three o'clock she realizes her car is not in the parking lot and says she's going to the hospital where my wife works to kick her butt for stealing her car. They said that since she has eloped twice in one week she either has to go in the lock down ward or go home with us. We checked the mileage on the car and she drove nearly 500 miles during the night,in the rain. She either can't tell us where she went or won't. Now here we sit and she doesn't have a clue what she's done. She says she don't want to be a burden but she doesn't realize that's exactly what she's become. I'm at my wits end. It's either go to benbrook and move in with her or get a guardianship over her affairs, if a judge will do one, and lock her up against her will.
If she's left alone too long she'll end up changing the will or something else stupid. I'm just so tired.

Comments

  • Ditch-RunnerDitch-Runner Member Posts: 25,375 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I think its some what easy to prove with the doctors behind you to have her admitted , good luck it is a sad moment in our life

    my MIL was in the lock down area , funny and sad was another lady in the same ward , she had worked at the place for years as a nurse , she would watch the other nurses and get the code and open the doors for every one thy had to start covering there hands and changing the code on a regular basis .
  • pwilliepwillie Member Posts: 20,253 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    We went through that in 1985 with my Mom....She would leave, and we had no cell phone at that time...eventually you will have to live with her unless you want to keep her locked up???Sad Sad...[:(]
  • wiz1997wiz1997 Member Posts: 1,051 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Can you put something like a Lojack on the car if she is going to have access to it?

    As far as changing a will, can you get power of attorney? It will involve everyone in the family agreeing including her unless she is beyond that capacity. Can get messy if other siblings can't agree. Also depends on the State you're in.
  • BikerBobBikerBob Member Posts: 2,745 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    It's a tough decision. I have an aunt in lock down and it is no fun going to see her and no fun for her either.

    Always the same thing, my cousin is locking her up against her will, and she always asks why. No matter how many times you tell her that she can't keep calling the police and fire department or going up to some strangers house and asking how to get home.

    My cousins can't go anymore as she's down right abusive to them. I can but have to start by telling her who I am before she remembers.

    Before when in just assisted living, she wandered off too many times, and flagged down patrol cars. My cousin has been investigated a couple times for "stealing her money and plotting against her". He finally turned over all the bills and payments and account access to a trust officer at the bank, just to stop the acusations.

    Good luck, it's a sad progression to the end.
  • Winston BodeWinston Bode Member Posts: 1,628 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I have a power of attorney but as long as she has enough of her mind to go behind me and undo things I can't stop her. Apparently I need a guardianship.
    There are no other siblings. My oldest brother died December 6th so that leaves me to deal with all this.
    Yes and she is getting very abusive. She's always been mean but now she's getting worse.
    I'm going today to talk to a judge to see what my options are. At least I got the bulk of her money hid so she can't close the account and hide it from me again.
    And yes she tells everybody I'm stealing her money and yesterday called the police and said my wife stole her car.
  • hillbillehillbille Member Posts: 14,459 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by Winston Bode
    I have a power of attorney but as long as she has enough of her mind to go behind me and undo things I can't stop her. Apparently I need a guardianship.
    There are no other siblings. My oldest brother died December 6th so that leaves me to deal with all this.
    Yes and she is getting very abusive. She's always been mean but now she's getting worse.
    I'm going today to talk to a judge to see what my options are. At least I got the bulk of her money hid so she can't close the account and hide it from me again.
    And yes she tells everybody I'm stealing her money and yesterday called the police and said my wife stole her car.


    you may have to get her private doctor to admit she is incompetent, the nursing home doctors, around here anyway, won't do it, cause once they do they are usually stuck with just what medicare/medicaid will pay. As long as she is still considered compitent you/she are responsible for the entire bill, or at least this was the case with my mother about 2 years ago.

    once she is declared incompetent everything will be on your shoulders though, medical and money matter will have to be decided by you if you are the only relative left. I ended up putting my mother in the local masonic home, it is still a nursing home per say, but the care is a lot better than any of the nursing homes in the area. Good luck, it is tough when the tables turn and you have to start taking care of your parents, but it does sound like the begining stages of dementia.
  • TxsTxs Member Posts: 17,809 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    In case she finds other ways to bail on you, have you tried getting that cell phone in your name so you'd be able to ping it?
  • Winston BodeWinston Bode Member Posts: 1,628 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Well she got evicted from assisted living for eloping twice so she ended up at our house. Tuesday night she starts complaining of chest pains so off to the ER. She is admitted because her blood pressure was like 199/119 so she got admitted. Then Wednesday she has a stress test and gets angry again. Then she tells the nurse she wants to kill herself because she has nothing to live for. That gets her a night in ICU and this morning she fails her psych exam and gets herself an EDO to the fifth floor. She'll never admit it but she brought this on herself by mentioning suicide. At least we found another assisted living facility in the area that keeps the doors locked so less of a chance she'll run off again. Plus I have to MAB her drivers license and hide her car. Fun, fun.
  • GuvamintCheeseGuvamintCheese Member Posts: 38,932
    edited November -1
    If it's not one thing, it's your mother. That's a tough call Mr Bode. Good luck.
  • Winston BodeWinston Bode Member Posts: 1,628 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Thanks, this could be a blessing. At least she'll get some psychotropic drugs to calm her down and makes it easier when I go see the lawyer for the guardian ship process. I hate it for her but she is just so angry.
  • Sam06Sam06 Member Posts: 21,244 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I feel for you, that is a sad situation.
    RLTW

  • Dads3040Dads3040 Member Posts: 13,552 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I have said for years that some of the most important moments for us as parents is when our children hate our guts for what we have to do to teach them the proper path.

    It appears that the same may be true in relation to our parents. You have to do what is best for your mom, even if it makes her angry with you.

    It won't be fun, but it must be done.

    Our prayers are with you.
  • OakieOakie Member Posts: 40,565 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    This is just my feelings. I will never put my parents away. They will come live with me and we will take care of them. My parents did it for their parents with dementia, and I will do it for them. Dementia, old age and so on sucks, but I hate nursing homes and would not want to live in one myself. That is why I will always have a gun handy.[;)]

    Winston, you have a tough decision and only you and your family can do what is right for you and mom. God bless and we will be praying for you all. Oakie
  • pulsarncpulsarnc Member Posts: 6,559 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I understand where you are coming from .Hard place to be . Thankfully did not have to go thru this with Mom but a close friend is beginning to have the same issues with his Mom. Good luck and God bless you .
    cry Havoc and let slip  the dogs of war..... 
  • CaptFunCaptFun Member Posts: 16,678 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    My grandmother was about that bad in her last few years, really gave my mom grief. The worst thing she did before she went totally off the deep end was sell the house on Mobile Bay that my Grandfather had bought specifically to leave to me. grrrr.

    Hope everything works out for the best.
Sign In or Register to comment.