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Three (3) Minute Management Course
FEENIX
Member Posts: 10,559 ✭✭✭
Three (3) Minute Management Course
Lesson One:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not" So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
____________________________________
Lesson Two:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They re packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Management Lesson:
Bull Crap might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
_____________________________________
Lesson Three:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold; the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He laid there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Management Lesson:
(1) Not everyone who craps on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of crap is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep poop, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
This ends the three minute management course!!!!!
Lesson One:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not" So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
____________________________________
Lesson Two:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They re packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Management Lesson:
Bull Crap might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
_____________________________________
Lesson Three:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold; the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He laid there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Management Lesson:
(1) Not everyone who craps on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of crap is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep poop, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
This ends the three minute management course!!!!!
Comments
A fly was in a cowbarn, on a pile of cow5hit. He was in heaven, a true fly smorgasbord. He ate and ate and ate until he could eat no more. Suddenly he remembers that his wife expected him home two hours ago for that one night that happens once every month to married flys he stops gorging himself, spends a moment grooming himself and spreads his wings to fly away, only to propel himself headfirst into the pile of dung that was, only so recently, the stuff that fly dreams
are made from. Again he grooms himself and attempts flight. Again he finds himself headfirst in the mountain of slop that he had satiated himself upon. A mere moment's contemplation has him envisioning his dejected spouse copulating with fruit flies, blue bottle flies, horse flies, dragon flies, deer flies and gadflies. She is, after all, a vindictive sister.
Suddenly he sees a pitchfork stuck into the pile that has made him its prisoner. Understanding, as only a fly can, the pure aerodynamic logic that only a fly can know, he begins to climb as high on this implement as he can, assured by his experience as a fly that the added height will enable him to fly home.
The climb is long and arduaous, and our hero is exhausted when he reaches the pinnacle. He rests a moment to regain his strength, calculates his flying prowess and leaps off into the void, beating his wings as they have never beat before.
Just past the manure pile he plummets to a horrible death, leaving his remains unrecognizable on the concrete slab floor of the barn.
The moral for management?
Don't fly off the handle when you are full of *.