Fathers and sons

tacking1

The credit for this post goes to FishdudeBen.

I'd like you guys to post about your relationship with your father.

We are "sitting by the bedside" with my mother as she slowly fades out, and I have had some amazing conversations with my 81 YO Pop. Most of them make me feel inadequate when I balance his character and strength against mine. The coolest thing is to have him articulate love, something he never did much when we were younger. To see the passion he feels for my mother is simply astounding.

I am a father...two young sons and a baby girl....God in heaven grant me the strength to be for them what he is to me.

n/a

Extremely rough/bad childhood. Good relationship now. He is now a Christian and we have mended a broken relationship.

Chief Shaway

Mine just passed away on the 8th. Still trying to deal with it. We had deer hunted together since I was 14. Last year seemed the most enjoyable. I think that he knew something was up but didn't want to bother anyone with it. The last deer I got we had it butchered and ready for the freezer in 1 1/2 hour. We enjoyed camping at his cabin that he had just built. Now me and my son will build more memories finishing the inside of it.

oldgunner

I never knew mine very well. I left home at sixteen and only got back for occasional visits. I remember from childhood he was a bit fiddle footed, couldn't stand to live in one place very long. He and my mom spent about 55 years together before he died, so he must have been a pretty good man otherwise.

dolfan

My relationship with Dad turned sour as a teenager. We sorta grew distant during those years. In my early 20s, my Dad had an affair. That really tore my Mom's heart. She managed to forgive him and are still together, but I could not. It wasn't till I was 34 and became a father myself that I realized it was I, not he who messed up in my teens. I don't blame him anymore for that but still resent what he did to my Mom. We are close now, he'll be 78 tomorrow, I'll be 45 in a week, but I still hurt deep inside. I feel like we lost some valuable time together.

Sav99

Relationship with my Dad is great now, we had some bad years when I was younger. He was a pretty dedicated boozer. He's sober now and just got saved a few months back when he was near death in the hospital. We are'nt out of the woods yet, but he's at home and still holding on. Despite a childhood that you could make a movie about, I love both parents and have great relationships with them.
The older I get the more I relize how much my Dad really taught me.

temblor

Lost my Dad in a fatal accident at work three weeks after I turned twelve. He was a great guy and I'm glad I had him as long as I did. Alot more than some people ever have. Hardly a day goes by that I don't think of him.
The day he was killed we had planned to go target shooting. My mom let me get out some of the guns and get things ready to go, but he never made it home.
I still have some of those guns. My brother has the rest.I always think of Dad when I clean them. Some day my son and his son will get them. My grandson is four now.
Dad ran a large farming/ranching operation for another man who was the owner. He was about as hard a working guy as you'll ever find and taught me alot about character, honesty and hard work in the short years I was around him(even thou I didn't realize it at the time).
He had me late in life and had grown up in the peak of the depression. Later worked in the Gov't C.C. Corp when they made work for people and worked as a Lumberjack in the timber camps in Northwest Michigan(where he was from). Later hit the beaches in WWII. He never liked to talk about the war, but just said somebody had to stop those guys and was proud he helped.
He always told me that overcoming hardships built character and made you a better person. I think he was right.
Quite a guy. It's a shame his life was cut short, but he's still one of my Heros.......[^][^]

fishermanben

A little comic relief.

I experienced the same with my Grandfather at my Grandmother's bedside.

I, my Father, my Grandfather, and a methodist minister were in the hospital room immediately after my Grandmother's passing. She WAS NOT supposed to die first, and he was in a state of disarray.

Now, I don't condone cheating in any way. I have never cheated on a girlfriend, and God help me, if I ever get married, I will never cheat on my wife.

However, my Grandfather's sat there with a blank stare and said, "I never ever cheated on her." Then he made eyecontact with the minister and as an aside stated, "I did get a few *...but I never cheated on her."

I can still see the look on that minister's face. I've never before or since seen a Methodist Minister with his tongue tied in such a permanent knot.

Godbless Grandma, she must've put up with a lot of crap.

Ben

tacking1

oh my god Ben what a freakin hoot!

guntech59

quote:Originally posted by fishermanben
A little comic relief.

However, my Grandfather's sat there with a blank stare and said, "I never ever cheated on her." Then he made eyecontact with the minister and as an aside stated, "I did get a few *...but I never cheated on her."

I can still see the look on that minister's face. I've never before or since seen a Methodist Minister with his tongue tied in such a permanent knot.

Godbless Grandma, she must've put up with a lot of crap.

Ben


Gotta love the plain speaking old men!![:D]

Wish mine was still around. Very closed up about everything. I don't think I EVER heard him say "I love you" until I was 35 or so. He was always working double shifts when I was a kid. He was old school and raised during the depression. Man, could he pinch a penny! I miss him ALOT!

spryor

quote:Originally posted by tacking1
oh my god Ben what a freakin hoot!


At times the relationship with my dad was strained, but all in all he was a very stand up guy, and we were close when he passed on a few years ago. Having plenty of time to reflect, I'm sure our strained times were largely due to a very, very evil mom that has done everything in her power to ruin my life since they adopted me at 3.5yrs. old.

scottm21166

when I think of my dad...a Harry Chapin song comes to mind...

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then, son
You know we'll have a good time then.....

Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then dad
You know we'll have a good time then

I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then dad
You know we'll have a good time then

My dad still works...I guess Im glad for I fear if he quit life for him would be over. I always try to take time to make sure that doesn't happen between my son and I. He is leaving the 8th for Bristol bay fishing and he is a young man. He will be 18 by the time he gets home and he is already talking about getting an apartment when he get's home...a year ago he said he wanted to live with me forever....good luck buddy[:I]

dcon12

Maybe I would be less flipant if I had known my dad. I met him once but told him I could live without him. He died new years eve of 94. It bothered me some, bothered me more that I was unaffected. No stories to tell of growing up. What do you say of a life like that? My sister put his ashes in my brothers casket. Got tired of him hanging around in her closet. I did not care one way or another. My brother said nothing. Don

kristov

My father, who died several years ago, expected nothing less than perfection in everything and set standards so high that they simply could not be met by anyone. He was a very difficult man to get along with because you just knew that you were not going to meet his expectations no matter how hard you tried but to give up and admit defeat was the worst sin of all in his eyes. My father held a masters degree in mechanical engineering but after he and my mother escaped eastern Europe and came to America he spent the remainder of his working life as a plumber, eventually owning his own plumbing business. "Pop" was an example of the self made man who started out with nothing and built the American dream with sweat and hard work. He was an inspiration but also an example of indifferent parenting. I respected him because he was my father but he and I were not "pals" and did not spend much time together except during summers when I assisted him in plumbing jobs. He was the type of guy who you could work right next to for two hours and he'd never even try to make small talk, he would just work and point out mistakes. He did love the LA Dodgers and every now and then he and I would go to the ball park and watch a game and it was during these times we spent together that I saw him in a different light: He'd yell, cheer, boo the umpires and generally make a spectical of himself during those two hours. I wish we'd have gone to more ball games.

reddnek

I never knew my biological father . My mom remarried when I was 5. My step dad(scratch the step he was my dad) would be considered an abusive parent by todays standards ,but hey i never knew the difference. The things he taught me took a while to sink in but i never forgot them. love of guns and the outdoors respect for my elders, and resonsibility.
I used a lot of his style in raising my 2 girls and they tell me I did a good job. When he died it left an enormus whole in the hearts of my brother sisters and me in addition to his grand kids and great grandkids