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Headlines from the year 2029
yearofspider
Member Posts: 1,657 ✭✭
Headlines from the year 2029
1.Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh
largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as
California.
2.White minorities still trying to have English recognized as
Mexifornia's third language.
3.Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and
livestock.
4.Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
5. Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East!(formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and
Lebanon).
6.Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
7.France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
8.Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported
legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
9.George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
10.Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and
reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
11.85 years, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
12.Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
13.Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter
speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
(Hummmmmmmmm)
14.Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
15.Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil
rights.
16.Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
17.New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January,
2036.
18.Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political
contributions to campaign accounts.
19.IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
20.Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines!
21.RevolutionJim finally takes his meds[:D]
1.Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh
largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as
California.
2.White minorities still trying to have English recognized as
Mexifornia's third language.
3.Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and
livestock.
4.Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
5. Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East!(formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and
Lebanon).
6.Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
7.France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
8.Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported
legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
9.George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
10.Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and
reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
11.85 years, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
12.Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
13.Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter
speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
(Hummmmmmmmm)
14.Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
15.Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil
rights.
16.Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
17.New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January,
2036.
18.Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political
contributions to campaign accounts.
19.IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
20.Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines!
21.RevolutionJim finally takes his meds[:D]
Comments
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Lichtenstein. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. < BR>
Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba..
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States
Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Now, send this to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what...NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile or be very very scared.
I Love This Country!
It's The Government That Scares Me!