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You don't have to like me....

edgecamedgecam Member Posts: 3,280
edited March 2013 in General Discussion
... But you will respect me.


When some one starts a conversation with "you don't have to like but you will respect me" what is your first response?


My boss called me into his office today and started out with that then went on to tell me I am too outspoken and brash and need to tone it down. I told him I did't like his managerial skills and he had to earn respect. He gave me a final warning and put me on 6 month probation. If I didn't have money in savings and other ways to make money I might care more. The only thing keeping me there is the benefits for now.

Comments

  • AnonymouseAnonymouse Member Posts: 4,050
    edited November -1
    If you got a final warning, sounds like you have been mouthing off a lot. If you don't like the boss, then leave. I would have fired you already.
  • ChrisInTempeChrisInTempe Member Posts: 15,562
    edited November -1
    Plenty of bosses are A-Holes. Absolutely so. Problem is, they are bosses. So it's either suck it up, take the risk to try and change things or make the best exit you can come up with.

    With that warning I'd get a job search going.

    Quick.

    Oh, and there are employees who are A-Holes too ... don't know who's who in this adventure story but all should be open to possible plot twists and surprise endings.
  • wiplashwiplash Member Posts: 7,145 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    What we have here, is a failure to communicate! [:o)]

    Thats why I started my own business. I cannot work for people that live just to treat their employees like crap, just because they can!

    People like that, almost always have some kind of a mental problem, that makes them want to take their problems out on the World, ie... Small BBs ect... [:D]
    There is no such thing as Liberal Men, only Liberal Women with Penises.'
  • grumpygygrumpygy Member Posts: 48,464 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I just Bite my Tongue and Start looking for a new job.

    But you are right Respect is earned.
  • txlawdogtxlawdog Member Posts: 10,039 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Respect has to do with emotion. It has no place in the workplace, similar to the work morale.

    If you can't perform your job... Then something else needs to happen.
  • wiplashwiplash Member Posts: 7,145 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by wiplash
    What we have here, is a failure to communicate! [:o)]

    Thats why I started my own business. I cannot work for people that live just to treat their employees like crap, just because they can!

    People like that, almost always have some kind of a mental problem, that makes them want to take their problems out on the World, ie... Small BBs ect... [:D]


    Perfect! M1AGuy posted as I was Typing!

    Is he your Boss! [:D]
    There is no such thing as Liberal Men, only Liberal Women with Penises.'
  • edgecamedgecam Member Posts: 3,280
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by m1aguy
    If you got a final warning, sounds like you have been mouthing off a lot. If you don't like the boss, then leave. I would have fired you already.


    15 years of doing things the same way and I have never had so much as a warning. The new guy has a problem with anyone that questions him. There are 8 guys that are on their final warnings for stupid crap. I'm just hanging out using up my vacation time.
  • wiplashwiplash Member Posts: 7,145 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by edgecam
    quote:Originally posted by m1aguy
    If you got a final warning, sounds like you have been mouthing off a lot. If you don't like the boss, then leave. I would have fired you already.


    15 years of doing things the same way and I have never had so much as a warning. The new guy has a problem with anyone that questions him. There are 8 guys that are on their final warnings for stupid crap. I'm just hanging out using up my vacation time.


    Just ask M1AGuy what he does for a living.

    He won't reply.
    There is no such thing as Liberal Men, only Liberal Women with Penises.'
  • He DogHe Dog Member Posts: 51,593 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Respect is earned not a birthright. But really you are unique and very special, just like everyone else.
  • MudderChuckMudderChuck Member Posts: 4,105
    edited November -1
    I judge my bosses by whether they are competent or not. It comes in degrees, anybody can screw the pooch on occasion. In one ear out the other, is my mantra. I've had few bosses I actually respected, if I did respect them I usually respected their competency. I worked for one gal, a blonde Amazon, drop dead gorgeous, who was one of the more knowledgeable and competent people I've ever known, B.S. didn't work on her, she saw right through it. This was back when there were no women bosses, especially in crafts and trades.

    Two rules, first rule, tell them what they want to hear, then do what you have to do. Second rule, anything worth doing usually gets done despite management, not because of management.

    The guys that worked for me almost universally despised me, over half respected me. When they started to complain I'd always tell them to do the work first, then do the complaining. You've earned the right to complain, *after* the job is finished. Like I said, I was almost universally hated, but every job I've ever walked away from tried to hire me back within weeks or at the most a couple of months.
  • MMOMEQ-55MMOMEQ-55 Member Posts: 13,134
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by edgecam
    quote:Originally posted by m1aguy
    If you got a final warning, sounds like you have been mouthing off a lot. If you don't like the boss, then leave. I would have fired you already.


    15 years of doing things the same way and I have never had so much as a warning. The new guy has a problem with anyone that questions him. There are 8 guys that are on their final warnings for stupid crap. I'm just hanging out using up my vacation time.



    There are ways to straighten out a-hole bosses. Get creative.
  • andrewsw16andrewsw16 Member Posts: 10,728 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    If I disagreed with any instructions from my bosses, I would explain a better way and give my reasons and logic. Then, if he still chose to insist on his way, I would do it his way. I had done my duty to him and the organization by explaining why I thought my way was better. Once he had heard my suggestion and reasons, it is his right as the boss to choose. When you get to be boss, it will be YOUR right. Just remember what it felt like when you were lower on the totem pole and force yourself to listen to alternatives. But, never forget that you are the boss and you make the final decision and you are responsible for the outcome.
  • JnRockwallJnRockwall Member Posts: 16,350 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    time to start cashing in vacation, personal and sick time. Dont want to depart and leave that free money behind. Might want to go in and a stint put in before quitting.

    There is a website of how to be a bigger ahole to your soon to be boss in ways he can't do anything about it. At least not legally.
  • KodiakkKodiakk Member Posts: 5,582
    edited November -1
    I feel for folks with bad bosses. I went through one that got me fired eventually when I accidently showed him he was wrong about a oifield plug. He couldn't stop it from leaking and I got it to stop and he had a grudge ever since. I wasn't even trying to be a jerk, I was just trying to help.
  • WarbirdsWarbirds Member Posts: 16,925 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Go job shopping every day for the next six months.

    Its either you or him, but this doesnt end happily ever after at retirement age.
  • spasmcreekspasmcreek Member Posts: 37,717 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    life is to short to waste kissing stupid peoples azzes... stupid bosses have trashed companies that employed many quality employees...gotta make a decision which road to take in life...my advice is when you come to a fork in the road ...take it
  • 11BravoCrunchie11BravoCrunchie Member Posts: 33,423 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by wiplash
    quote:Originally posted by edgecam
    quote:Originally posted by m1aguy
    If you got a final warning, sounds like you have been mouthing off a lot. If you don't like the boss, then leave. I would have fired you already.


    15 years of doing things the same way and I have never had so much as a warning. The new guy has a problem with anyone that questions him. There are 8 guys that are on their final warnings for stupid crap. I'm just hanging out using up my vacation time.


    Just ask M1AGuy what he does for a living.

    He won't reply.



    He surfs the interweb looking for stories of crooked cops so that he has more ammo to bash law enforcement with.
  • dheffleydheffley Member Posts: 25,000
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by edgecam
    ... But you will respect me.


    When some one starts a conversation with "you don't have to like but you will respect me" what is your first response?


    My boss called me into his office today and started out with that then went on to tell me I am too outspoken and brash and need to tone it down. I told him I did't like his managerial skills and he had to earn respect. He gave me a final warning and put me on 6 month probation. If I didn't have money in savings and other ways to make money I might care more. The only thing keeping me there is the benefits for now.


    Ron,

    I currently have an opening for a UG programmer here in Texas, and will have a second opening in the Q2, and possibly a 3rd in Q3 or Q4.
  • kissgoodnightkissgoodnight Member Posts: 4,063 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I told my boys...
    You don't have to like your boss, but do not talk bad about him at work. If you talk bad about him elsewhere, that attitude will carry back to the job and cause nothing but problems. Hold it in, or find another job.
  • edgecamedgecam Member Posts: 3,280
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by Zulu7
    quote:Originally posted by wiplash
    quote:Originally posted by edgecam
    quote:Originally posted by m1aguy
    If you got a final warning, sounds like you have been mouthing off a lot. If you don't like the boss, then leave. I would have fired you already.


    15 years of doing things the same way and I have never had so much as a warning. The new guy has a problem with anyone that questions him. There are 8 guys that are on their final warnings for stupid crap. I'm just hanging out using up my vacation time.


    Just ask M1AGuy what he does for a living.

    He won't reply.



    He surfs the interweb looking for stories of crooked cops so that he has more ammo to bash law enforcement with.



    ZULU thanks for the laugh, I wonder how much interweb surfer pays?
  • edgecamedgecam Member Posts: 3,280
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by dheffley
    quote:Originally posted by edgecam
    ... But you will respect me.


    When some one starts a conversation with "you don't have to like but you will respect me" what is your first response?


    My boss called me into his office today and started out with that then went on to tell me I am too outspoken and brash and need to tone it down. I told him I did't like his managerial skills and he had to earn respect. He gave me a final warning and put me on 6 month probation. If I didn't have money in savings and other ways to make money I might care more. The only thing keeping me there is the benefits for now.


    Ron,

    I currently have an opening for a UG programmer here in Texas, and will have a second opening in the Q2, and possibly a 3rd in Q3 or Q4.


    If we didn't have family and a new house Texas would be on our short list of places to move.
  • AlpineAlpine Member Posts: 15,092 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Here is what I told my last supervisor when I received by last annual evaluation: "There are only 4 or 5 people in the entire organization that respect you. I am not one of those people".

    Expected to get asked to come to the Captain's office. But never heard any else.

    Oh, and by the way, that supervisor quit 3 weeks later. And who'da'thought that!
    ?The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money.?
    Margaret Thatcher

    "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics."
    Mark Twain
  • KEVD18KEVD18 Member Posts: 15,037
    edited November -1
    i would personally start looking for a new job. its always better to quit a job(with notice etc) than to be fired and it sounds like the guillotine blade is being winched up to the top. its only a matter of time...

    i've been there, more than once actually. once, i knew it was coming and had an escape plan. when the heat got to that level, i cut and run. on my resume, i left the job for another, more substantial opportunity. in actuality, they were just waiting for a convenient time to fire me. it makes a difference.
  • Sooeyman2035Sooeyman2035 Member Posts: 3,226
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by m1aguy
    If you got a final warning, sounds like you have been mouthing off a lot. If you don't like the boss, then leave. I would have fired you already.
    Fine, you're fired!
  • e3mrke3mrk Member Posts: 1,851 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    My Old Boss was like that and I told Him that You don't demand respect,You command respect.There is a big difference.
  • tneff1969tneff1969 Member Posts: 6,682 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by He Dog
    Respect is earned not a birthright. But really you are unique and very special, just like everyone else.


    I used to look at it as being earned, but have accepted it as being lost. Everyone should be given respect, it is up to him if he keeps it. [:)]
  • wanted manwanted man Member Posts: 3,276
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by ChrisInTempe
    Plenty of bosses are A-Holes. Absolutely so. Problem is, they are bosses. So it's either suck it up, take the risk to try and change things or make the best exit you can come up with.

    With that warning I'd get a job search going.

    Quick.

    Oh, and there are employees who are A-Holes too ... don't know who's who in this adventure story but all should be open to possible plot twists and surprise endings.


    ^^^^^^^^^^Pretty much what I was thinking.......I ya' don't like the boss's managerial style, you always have the option of ifnding a different boss. If HIS boss doesn't like his managerial style, HE may be looking for a new boss before it's over with, but if you intend to make that your mission, I suggest you take a lunch'cause it's likely to be a l-o-n-g day
  • nards444nards444 Member Posts: 3,994 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Respect given is respect earned. And as a boss if you want the most out of your employees you will garner their respect. But employees also have to understand they will not like everything they are told to do, and not everything that is done to suit their needs or best intrest. Also with new bosses it is a learning curve for the employee and the boss, there will be tough times and boss has to realize he will not get everything and the employee has to realize what he has been doing for 20 years may not fly anymore things change.

    In the end the boss is the boss, if you do what he says and get your paycheck whats their to complain about, if productivity drops then you can say look were doing it your way. But often times employees get mad because the new way is harder or isnt what they are used too. And being outspoke and or mouthy is a quck way to be shown the door, if you dont like it find another job or make yourself better and be the boss.

    Family friend was the outspoke type and the boss was always a jack ace, well he mouthed is way out of a good paying job and a second job. He contended he was always right, and valued his stance over his jobs. Well now he works at NAPA as a parts runner, im guessing he really showed them
  • KEVD18KEVD18 Member Posts: 15,037
    edited November -1
    Respecting the man is earned. Respecting the title/office is mandatory or you find yourself flipping through the classifieds.

    You don't have to like your boss, but you have to do what you're told. Undermining their authority and openly disrespecting them is a good way to wind up unemployed.
  • DocDoc Member Posts: 13,898 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I have often had bosses I thought were idiots. I kept my mouth shut. One, it's polite. Two, they were the bosses. If your boss is so bad that you can't keep your criticism to yourself, find another job.

    Yes, you should respect the boss. Even if he doesn't deserve it. Shooting off your mouth will not improve things.
    ....................................................................................................
    Too old to live...too young to die...
  • nunnnunn Forums Admins, Member, Moderator Posts: 36,083 ******
    edited November -1
    I used to say, "Respect has to be earned," when I was about 20 years old.
  • retroxler58retroxler58 Member Posts: 32,693 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    New managerial people always seem to need to 'prove' something... Never seen this fail.

    Do your job correctly, respect the position... And ignore him otherwise.
    You'll have your day soon enough...
  • the middlethe middle Member Posts: 3,089
    edited November -1
    Thats another thing I love about my job. All the boss's, from my supervisor to the plant manager, has worked their way up the ladder over a period of years, and most could go back down to my level and do my job if they had too. This makes them very understanding of all problems, becasue they have been there, done that. A result of this is there are very few A-hole boss's. The A-holes never got promoted in the first place. The few that I have run across, and pissed me off, Ive told to F' off. Everyone know they are A-holes, but they are only there because they are very good at what they do (engineers mostly, not involed in day to day ops, so you dont have to deal with them much to start with), so higher management puts up with them.

    Another thing about working there, no egos....the boss's know that 80% of the people under them are very capable of doing his job, and will, in fact, do it someday. Makes for some "thick skinned' folks who will tell you off right back at ya. I like it...no bawl babys.
  • nards444nards444 Member Posts: 3,994 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by KEVD18
    Respecting the man is earned. Respecting the title/office is mandatory or you find yourself flipping through the classifieds.

    You don't have to like your boss, but you have to do what you're told. Undermining their authority and openly disrespecting them is a good way to wind up unemployed.


    Some people dont like to be told what to do regardless of whos telling them or whatever it is. Those types never seem to get it, and seem to know everything. I always thought to myself, well I wonder why this space cadet is the President of the US or the CEO of a major corporation since he knows so much
  • whiteclouderwhiteclouder Member Posts: 10,574 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    The only one in a workplace you need to respect is yourself. Failing that,leave.

    Clouder..
  • wiplashwiplash Member Posts: 7,145 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    No one has ever accused me of being a Butt Kisser to any of my Bosses.

    And I have had a lot of them! [:o)]
    There is no such thing as Liberal Men, only Liberal Women with Penises.'
  • aw3olaw3ol Member Posts: 583 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    The French Lieutenants Whore?

    [:D]
  • CaptFunCaptFun Member Posts: 16,678 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by the middle
    Thats another thing I love about my job. All the boss's, from my supervisor to the plant manager, has worked their way up the ladder over a period of years, and most could go back down to my level and do my job if they had too. This makes them very understanding of all problems, becasue they have been there, done that. A result of this is there are very few A-hole boss's. The A-holes never got promoted in the first place. The few that I have run across, and pissed me off, Ive told to F' off. Everyone know they are A-holes, but they are only there because they are very good at what they do (engineers mostly, not involed in day to day ops, so you dont have to deal with them much to start with), so higher management puts up with them.

    Another thing about working there, no egos....the boss's know that 80% of the people under them are very capable of doing his job, and will, in fact, do it someday. Makes for some "thick skinned' folks who will tell you off right back at ya. I like it...no bawl babys.


    See, the problem is that Engineers (especially in your industry) are smart enough to see through your union bullslime and just hate you for the impediments that you place in the way of them working.

    It's not necessarily that they are jerks, but that you are union and they have work to get done without having to put up with your cow cookies.
  • use enough gunuse enough gun Member Posts: 1,443 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I've worked for the same 3 guys for over 30 years. Rule # 1 The Boss is always right, when he's wrong, refer back to Rule #1.
    Having said that, I acually like the guys I work for, they treat me pretty well. For the most part they tell me what they want done and then leave me alone to get it done.Dave
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