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Give away - 'cause I love you guys
tacking1
Member Posts: 3,844
Credit for this contest must go to the series that ran in American Airlines' inflight magazine some years back. They sponsored a contest where the goal was to "out Hemingway" Hemingway.
In order to honor our two most controversial and entertaining posters, I am gonna give a nice little cabela's gift card to the person who can post a paragraph or two emulating either the style of Zipperzap or Dances With Sheep. The topic of the paragraph is entirely up to the author, but you must do your best to use the styling and syntax of either of these two.
I must say that neither of the two honorees is excluded from the competition, though I would hope each would, in good faith, step away from his own style and pay tribute to the other.
When, or if, several submissions have been posted, I will issue my determination as to the winner.
Have fun and good writing.
In order to honor our two most controversial and entertaining posters, I am gonna give a nice little cabela's gift card to the person who can post a paragraph or two emulating either the style of Zipperzap or Dances With Sheep. The topic of the paragraph is entirely up to the author, but you must do your best to use the styling and syntax of either of these two.
I must say that neither of the two honorees is excluded from the competition, though I would hope each would, in good faith, step away from his own style and pay tribute to the other.
When, or if, several submissions have been posted, I will issue my determination as to the winner.
Have fun and good writing.
Comments
All you had to do was read....Its in there....
quote:Originally posted by tsavo303
what is the prize?
Edited by - DancesWithSheep on 04/26/2006 01:38:22 AM
All you had to do was read....Its in there....
You are supposed to write in the stylings of DWS or Zipper not Classic. Don
The 'writing style' is MY own, no one elses....I chose NOT to take part in the give-a-way....was just answering a question...
After waking up this morning with a large problem, I decided to go see the doc to discuss penile reduction surgery. Being that I am always as uncomfortable in a Doctors office as Mateomasfeo is when his sigmoid flexure starts spasming like his domestic partners gerbil does when the life is choked out of it in orgamsic fashion. would anyone want to offer advice on which would be the best place to recouperate after my surgery . My two thoughts would be either latest of the never ending Cher concert or runner up would be Dcons farm. I am leaning towards Dcons farm . He is always such a butterfly boy, that Dcon is and I am sure he would wear his lavender dress if bat my eyes...
Edited by - DancesWithSheep on 04/26/2006 01:38:22 AM
The addition of the "edited by" is a great touch, but I really don't recall DWS asking for advice all that often and the time element is wrong - the edit most often occurs within 2 minutes of the original post, which I infer means he is editing for typos.
quote:Originally posted by Frogbert
"The implausible concept that you purport to induce upon the posting members of this forum, suggesting that many of these slime sucking scumballs could so realistically portray a man of my magnitude, is laughable. Have you been imbibbing in the nocturnal drainings so artfully capturerd by your Haines Ribbed briefs, to such an extent that your tiny brain is sloughing off cells onto your crud-infested keyboard, rendering impulses onto our monitor screens that you purpose to actually be ideas?" DWS
The style is there but it seems to be lacking in coherence.
I always say, "Don't use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice."[:D]
Ben
this is dumb....Id rather bait a florida gator with my manhood
just the thought of reproducing posts similar to either of these self professed kings of witt is tantimount to self love. while some may gain pleaseure in the activity others will find themselfs with opalesant goo on their keyboard, a tightend sigmoid flexure and a hostile growth on their lower abdomenal apendage. your hope of colon exploration thru contests that glorify the disterbed will net you cronic gold fish style lip siezure and a lasting addiction to date rape drugs...wait a minute....what was the prize?....
I gotsta be meeeee!!!
Pete
How about this one. notice how my writing flowed effortlessly from Zipper's style to DWS' in the same paragraph without changing the subject!
Cool giveaway though, as I can think of about 10,000 things I'd like from Cabelas but I pass...[;)]
...controversial, is in the eye of the beholder...
Cool giveaway though, as I can think of about 10,000 things I'd like from Cabelas but I pass...[;)]
The fact that you will pass or not pass based on the controversial nature of the post is of no relevance here and in fact would make no more sense than your delatatious scribings in cretaceous piles of bovine effluence. Perhaps you'd be better off kneeling in mitochondrial DNA while lapping like a hound dog at Ann Coulters' * majora! I have no use for anyone so obsequisely ubiquitous as yourself.
Granddaddy zipperzap found his way out to Los Angeles, California and slowly started his own passenger airline. Turns out that he knew all the right connections (including Lindberg) to land a pretty nice contract as a mail carrier for the eleven western states and did quite well for himself in the years between 1930 until WWII. Once WWII hit granddaddy zipperzap proudly offered up half of his airline fleet for military service, and Hemingway headed to Paris to cover the war. Upon Hemingway's return to the states he was seeking to write a new novel, that would again label him as the premier novelist in the American 20th century. He wrote a letter to his old pal granddaddy zipperzap asking for a ride cross country to help find inspiration for his next great novel. Well granddaddy obliged Hemmingway who was by now quite famous, and within a week he picked him up and they were flying towards the west coast and some "new horizons" as daddy zipperzap always says when he tells the story. They then spent a good deal of time together deep sea fishing off the pacific coast, and when Hemingway was ready to return to Key West where he would go onto write "The Old Man and The Sea." Now this is 1947 and planes just couldn't fly cross country. So they landed at a little town for gas and a drink called Roswell New Mexico. The story goes that it was the very day of the UFO crash and they had decided to stay over because Hemingway found the western town "quaint and enjoyable". Well my granddaddy dropped Hemmingway off in Key West, and his plane mysteriously crashed and he was never seen or heard from again. We have good reason to believe it was actually shot down in an attempt to cover up the Roswell UFO story. As I can type this today folks, I can tell you Hemmingway did not commit suicide he was also a victim of the cover up and was murdered by the federal government.
Bolivers Wife- are you still awake zippy?
zipperzap- YEP! Hold on a sec
Bolivers Wife- OK>>Hurry hurry, I can wait for a few seconds
4 seconds later
zipperzap- you still here melly?
Bolivers Wife- Yes Zippy
Zipperzap- I spent all morning cleaning guns and all afternoon weeding my flowerbed.
Bolivers Wife- I love flowers
zipperzap- I have 40 varieties give or take 10. would you like to see them/
Bolivers wife- oh zippy, I would love to see them.
zipperzap- send addy and i will zip a few through my photoshop to you>
Bolivers wife- email sent
zipperzap- email received
Bolivers wife- is it working yet/
zipperzap- just got back from walking the dog
Bolivers wife- cool
zipperzap- did you send addy yet?
zipperzap- wait a sec
zipperzap- had to let the cat in
Bolivers wife- how cute, i never knew you liked cats
zipperzap- I tamed a few lions at the circus in my younger days, so yeah
Bolivers wife- how late are you going to stay awake?
zipperzap- about 3 or 4 days more then likely
6SHOOTER- can you guys get an aol chat account? so you don't plug up the forums with this crap
Bolivers wife- how rude. we happen to like chating here
zipperzap- yeah. BUG OFF
zipperzap- did you get your flowers yet?
3 days later
zipperzap- melly? did you finaly fall asleep?
X-Ring
HGW
ZIPPER?
Bolivers Wife- are you still awake zippy?
zipperzap- YEP! Hold on a sec
Bolivers Wife- OK>>Hurry hurry, I can wait for a few seconds
4 seconds later
zipperzap- you still here melly?
Bolivers Wife- Yes Zippy
Zipperzap- I spent all morning cleaning guns and all afternoon weeding my flowerbed.
Bolivers Wife- I love flowers
zipperzap- I have 40 varieties give or take 10. would you like to see them/
Bolivers wife- oh zippy, I would love to see them.
zipperzap- send addy and i will zip a few through my photoshop to you>
Bolivers wife- email sent
zipperzap- email received
Bolivers wife- is it working yet/
zipperzap- just got back from walking the dog
Bolivers wife- cool
zipperzap- did you send addy yet?
zipperzap- wait a sec
zipperzap- had to let the cat in
Bolivers wife- how cute, i never knew you liked cats
zipperzap- I tamed a few lions at the circus in my younger days, so yeah
Bolivers wife- how late are you going to stay awake?
zipperzap- about 3 or 4 days more then likely
6SHOOTER- can you guys get an aol chat account? so you don't plug up the forums with this crap
Bolivers wife- how rude. we happen to like chating here
zipperzap- yeah. BUG OFF
zipperzap- did you get your flowers yet?
3 days later
zipperzap- melly? did you finaly fall asleep?
I want a relationship like that[:p]
quote:Originally posted by MVP
After waking up this morning with a large problem, I decided to go see the doc to discuss penile reduction surgery. Being that I am always as uncomfortable in a Doctors office as Mateomasfeo is when his sigmoid flexure starts spasming like his domestic partners gerbil does when the life is choked out of it in orgamsic fashion. would anyone want to offer advice on which would be the best place to recouperate after my surgery . My two thoughts would be either latest of the never ending Cher concert or runner up would be Dcons farm. I am leaning towards Dcons farm . He is always such a butterfly boy, that Dcon is and I am sure he would wear his lavender dress if bat my eyes...
Edited by - DancesWithSheep on 04/26/2006 01:38:22 AM
The addition of the "edited by" is a great touch, but I really don't recall DWS asking for advice all that often and the time element is wrong - the edit most often occurs within 2 minutes of the original post, which I infer means he is editing for typos.
quote:Originally posted by Frogbert
"The implausible concept that you purport to induce upon the posting members of this forum, suggesting that many of these slime sucking scumballs could so realistically portray a man of my magnitude, is laughable. Have you been imbibbing in the nocturnal drainings so artfully capturerd by your Haines Ribbed briefs, to such an extent that your tiny brain is sloughing off cells onto your crud-infested keyboard, rendering impulses onto our monitor screens that you purpose to actually be ideas?" DWS
The style is there but it seems to be lacking in coherence.
Properly read it is perfectly coherent, and though widely phrased to emphasize the style, the paragraph is grammatically and structurally correct. A hint: the word "purpose" is used as a verb in the last sentence and pronounced pur POSE', with the long "o". Reading comprehension has many levels, the higher ones requiring experience and imagination. Both of which you apparently lack. DWS.
[:D]
Maybe the next giveaway someone should cough up a new keyboard for blackroses. Apparently the one she types on now, the "." button gets stuck all the time.
I am of course just playing BR... Don't get your feathers ruffled...
quote:Originally posted by Bloviator
...controversial, is in the eye of the beholder...
Cool giveaway though, as I can think of about 10,000 things I'd like from Cabelas but I pass...[;)]
The fact that you will pass or not pass based on the controversial nature of the post is of no relevance here and in fact would make no more sense than your delatatious scribings in cretaceous piles of bovine effluence. Perhaps you'd be better off kneeling in mitochondrial DNA while lapping like a hound dog at Ann Coulters' * majora! I have no use for anyone so obsequisely ubiquitous as yourself.
and our winner is---HUGHBETCHA
Many wonderful submissions and like the man said, you guys are hilarious, but this post most closely captures the ascerbic and aggressive nature of DWS. The Ann Coulter reference was sublime.
Hugh...please email me an addy and I'll post your card to you.
scottm21166 I expect Zippy is willing. Want a kind of Brokeback thing eh?
Doh...I get it...you called me a fag....hey saxon poof this post Im offended!!!and I didn't win anyway
the winner may have recreated a DWSish post ...I suggest your pick is a further attempt to garner favor with the beltway boys or to be invited to the annual 2 ewe ball...
congrats to Hugh
My favorite was MVP's rendition of zippy and melly go to the circus.
Thanks tacking. I find DWS' ability to converse about Ann Coulters' sexual organs in the original latin to be among the feats that separate him from average writers. The other day he even accused me of being a non-sequiter.
you special man you.
I sequite way more often than I should. Maybe I need the drugs that let you sit in a clawfoot tub on the back poach and read Annabel Lee to the sweetie pie!
And y'all likes sniffin' and eatin' sheet...huh...far'kin weird sunabich...
The wannabes', deficient in pronunciation of common lexiconic slang inherent within the vocabulary of our misunderstood, [though admired dropout population,] invent new rhyme patterns popular within their own cliques. These new and exciting interpretations bloom forth into peer specific neighborhood dialects. Two blocks away, comments of disrespect might be interpreted as words of the greatest praise.
Create your own language and the world will review you on NPR; that, or perhaps the neighbors might embellish your front door with a few 125-grain pieces of copper-wrapped lead.
To imitate our leader in the understated is to get within his head. A frightening prospect, even contemplated in jest. I am content to observe from my side of the sidewalk.