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Witty Truisms
retroxler58
Member Posts: 32,693 ✭✭✭
Here's Mine. Post yours.
*************
It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.
You aren't drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
We have enough youth. How 'bout a "Fountain of SMART"?
The original 'Point and Click' human interface was a Smith & Wesson.
A fool and his money can throw one Helluva PARTY!
When 'Blondes have more fun', do they actually know it?
Five days a week, my body is a temple. The other two days it's an amusement park.
LEARN from your parents mistakes. USE BIRTH CONTROL!
Money ain't everything. But, it sure keeps the kids in touch.
'Don't Drink and Drive', you might hit a bump and spill something.
If at first you don't succeed skydiving is NOT for you.
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to a lack of good bourbon.
We are born nekkid, wet, and hungry. Then it all goes to hell in a hand basket.
Red meat is not bad for you, Fuzzy, green meat is bad for you.
Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.
One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every day.
Artificial Intelligence [A.I.] is no match for natural stupidity.
The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population.
Do you know why a politician is like a banana?
When he first comes in he's green, then soon turns yellow, and always ends up rotten.
Congressman should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers.
That way, we could see who their sponsors are.
*************
It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.
You aren't drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
We have enough youth. How 'bout a "Fountain of SMART"?
The original 'Point and Click' human interface was a Smith & Wesson.
A fool and his money can throw one Helluva PARTY!
When 'Blondes have more fun', do they actually know it?
Five days a week, my body is a temple. The other two days it's an amusement park.
LEARN from your parents mistakes. USE BIRTH CONTROL!
Money ain't everything. But, it sure keeps the kids in touch.
'Don't Drink and Drive', you might hit a bump and spill something.
If at first you don't succeed skydiving is NOT for you.
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to a lack of good bourbon.
We are born nekkid, wet, and hungry. Then it all goes to hell in a hand basket.
Red meat is not bad for you, Fuzzy, green meat is bad for you.
Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.
One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every day.
Artificial Intelligence [A.I.] is no match for natural stupidity.
The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population.
Do you know why a politician is like a banana?
When he first comes in he's green, then soon turns yellow, and always ends up rotten.
Congressman should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers.
That way, we could see who their sponsors are.
Comments
There you are.
There is no problem that cannot be handled with the proper application of high explosives.
Sometimes the reason is you were STUPID.