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anger management c&p
mp5shooter
Member Posts: 2,429 ✭✭✭✭✭
my sister sent me this in an email. a little long but FUNNY!!![:D][:D][:D]
Anger Management
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***in' number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed
the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the
'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an sweetie!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'sweetie' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an sweetie!" It
always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my
therapeutic 'sweetie' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from AT&T. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an sweetie!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and&; nbsp;pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale"
sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first assho le (I had his number on speed dial, I thought that I'd better call the BMW sweetie, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oak Tree Blvd. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front." I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen," I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" He said, "I'm home every evening after five." I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're an sweetie!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two sweeties to call.
Then I came up with an idea. I called sweetie #1. He said, "Hello." ;I said, "You're an sweetie!" (But I didn't hang up.) He asked, "Are you still there?" I said, "Yeah," He screamed, "Stop calling me," I said, "Make me," He asked, "Who are you?" I said, "My name is Don Hansen." He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "sweetie, I live at 34 Oak Tree Blvd. It's a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had
better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, sweetie," and
hung up.
Then I called sweetie #2. He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, sweetie," He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your *!" I answered, "Well, sweetie, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now!" Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oak Tree Blvd. and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I
called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oak Tree Blvd.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Oak Tree Blvd. I got there just in time to watch two sweeties beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.
NOW I feel much better. Anger management really works.
now substitute sweetie with azzhole since it was censored!
Anger Management
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***in' number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed
the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the
'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an sweetie!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'sweetie' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an sweetie!" It
always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my
therapeutic 'sweetie' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from AT&T. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an sweetie!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and&; nbsp;pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale"
sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first assho le (I had his number on speed dial, I thought that I'd better call the BMW sweetie, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oak Tree Blvd. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front." I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen," I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" He said, "I'm home every evening after five." I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're an sweetie!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two sweeties to call.
Then I came up with an idea. I called sweetie #1. He said, "Hello." ;I said, "You're an sweetie!" (But I didn't hang up.) He asked, "Are you still there?" I said, "Yeah," He screamed, "Stop calling me," I said, "Make me," He asked, "Who are you?" I said, "My name is Don Hansen." He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "sweetie, I live at 34 Oak Tree Blvd. It's a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had
better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, sweetie," and
hung up.
Then I called sweetie #2. He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, sweetie," He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your *!" I answered, "Well, sweetie, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now!" Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oak Tree Blvd. and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I
called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oak Tree Blvd.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Oak Tree Blvd. I got there just in time to watch two sweeties beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.
NOW I feel much better. Anger management really works.
now substitute sweetie with azzhole since it was censored!
Comments
Paul Mabe maybe?