Mother's day question

Captplaid

I have a question.

About three weeks ago, my wife miscarried. After 17 weeks and 5 days, we lost the baby. It has been very hard on both of us, as we have been married for eight years and she has never been pregnant. We are still dealing with it, but we're OK.

Sunday is Mother's Day. It has been a hard holiday for her since her own mother died abruptly fifteen years ago, but this Mother's fay will be particularly rough. I have to work, and she signed up for a half day, particularly to avoid church. (For those that don't attend, churches like to make a deal out of Mother's day.)

So here's my question. Today I bought her a ring. Not very big, but small saphires and diamond chips in 14K white gold. I never bought her jewery before, except for the engangment ring.

Should I give it to her on Mother's Day, without the Mother's day fanfair, or wait another week?

zipperzap

Why did you buy it?

That seems to us to be the logical question.

Did you buy it to make her feel better or for Mother's Day?

Maybe you could tell her that you bought it for her because you love her.

Eh?

... I'd avoid connecting it with Mother's Day.

spryor

"Mother's day aside, Dear..I'd still like to give/for you to have this today".

select-fire

Bad timing.. I would hold off Sunday and get thru that day. Give it to her another day .. Just because you want to. Keep a woman off guard and full of surprises and your relationship will last forever. It has worked 29.5 years for me. Just a few months ago, I gave mine a new large solitare for our 30th anniversary. I surprised the heck out of her..

kristov

I agree with SF, your timing is all wrong with the ring. Follow her lead: If she wants to go out then by all means do so, otherwise make the day one for quiet reflection. I am sorry about the baby. My wife had a miscarriage while married to her first husband and even after all these years (well over 20) and giving birth to two lovely duaghters, it still bothers her.

n/a

Do NOT give her the ring on Mothers day....Bad timing as well as would be seen in kinda rubbing salt on the wound....


In a couple of weeks or so, just give her the ring "for no special reason but the one I love you"...It would mean a lot more to her and give a boost to her ego as well if its given for no reason....

I know it may not sound logical but if you stop and think about getting gifts yourself, I think you will agree the ones that mean the most are the ones you received "just cause"...

SawBonesBob

You could give it to her Saturday. You would avoid the negative associations with Sunday yet the "afterglow" from the gift may make Sunday easier--just a thought.

leeblackman

Dude, I would go somewhere, or find some activity that would not only take her mind off mothers day, but avoid it all together. I don't know exactly where, maybe to see a movie or something. Or maybe go camping, somewhere away from mainstream media and such.

Captplaid

Thanks for the advise. Gives me something to think about. I am not the slickest guy when it comes to giving something to her. For instance...

For the engagement, she knew she was getting a 1kt round solitar. She just wanted the "setting" right when I asked. TO her surprise I gave her the cheapest thing I could buy at Granpa Pigeon's discount city. I had to ask the sales woman for something cheaper three times, before she showed me something that looks like a spec of cotton on a thin gold band.

She didn;t really appreciate my joke. It kind of ruined the "setting" for her.

...But she didn't mind that the diamond actually cam from a pawn shop. It is the only thing I have ever bought at a pawn shop. What the heck, it is not like diamonds are actually "new" or "used".

n/a

I'd give it to her tomorrow. She is a mother now, even if your baby died. I'm very sorry to hear of your loss, but it might be nice to let her know that you are thinking of her and your baby. I don't think I would act like nothing happened...it might be better to honor her as a mother. I pray that the Lord blesses you guys with healthy children...and I wish you the best for Mother's Day.

bondai

Wow...I am really sorry to hear about your loss. It is difficult on the father but I think it hits the woman the hardest. The important thing here is not the holiday but your love and support for her, she is hurting right now and she needs your support.

I say give it to her on Mothers Day and spend time with her and let her know that she is important and that you love her no matter what.

Let your heart be your guide.I wish you and your wife the best.

Queen of Swords

Hmmmm, tough question, but my gut tells me hold off.
Personally, I am not particularly fond of Mother's Day, or Valentine's Day, or any of those other truly meaningless Hallmark holidays, that only serve to make most of us feel inadequate in some way.
If you love someone, it's something that we should be reminding them of everyday, not just one designated day per year.
As Black Roses sez, "just cause" is a better choice.

Frogbert

I think the ring is a great idea. Tenderness and appreciation is called for. And Saturday, by all means.

Captplaid

All is well! Gave it to at a steak house with a card. She melted, but refused to cry in public. Consequently it gave her a runny nose. [:D] She loved the ring. Said she would have picked out the exact same one, if given a choice.

Thanks for the advice. It gave me a chance to think it through one more time before doing it on an impulse. It also softened her up to talk about future plans, whatever they may be and while we may not totally agree yet, she knowes we will come to term together before moving forward.

And to the few women that read Gunbroker's forums, thanks. Happy Mother's day.

Frogbert

Way to go![:)][8D]

n/a

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