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Redneck Medical Dictionary

n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427
edited July 2002 in General Discussion
Southern Medical
Dictionary

Benign = What you be, after you be eight.

Artery = The study of paintings.

Bacteria = Back door to cafeteria.

Barium = What doctors do when patients die.

Cesarean Section = A neighborhood in Rome.

Catscan = Searching for Kitty.

Cauterize = Made eye contact with her.

Colic = A sheep dog.

Coma = A punctuation mark.

D&C = Where Washington is.

Dilate = To live long.

Enema = Not a friend.

Fester = Quicker than someone else.

Fibula = A small lie.

Genital = Non-Jewish person.

G.I. Series = World Series of military baseball.

Hangnail = What you hang your coat on.

Impotent = Distinguished, well known.

Labor Pain = Getting hurt at work.

Medical Staff = A Doctor's cane.

Morbid = A higher offer.

Nitrates = Cheaper than day rates.

Node = I knew it.

Outpatient = A person who has fainted.

Pap Smear = A fatherhood test.

Pelvis = Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative = A letter carrier.

Recovery Room = Place to do upholstery.

Rectum = Darn near killed him.

Secretion = Hiding something.

Seizure = Roman emperor.

Tablet = A small table.

Terminal Illness = Getting sick at the airport.

Tumor = One plus one more.

Urine = Opposite of you're out.

Varicose = Near by/close by.


"A wise man is a man that realizes just how little he knows"
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