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RULES FOR ND
dakotashooter2
Member Posts: 6,186
Rules for ND
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Subject: ND, Rules for Visitors
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The following list of rules applies to each person as they enter North Dakota.
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1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Let's get this straight, it's called a 'gravel road'.
I drive a pickup truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus or BMW. Drive it , or get out of the way.
3. They are cattle and oil wells. That's what they smell like to you; they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-94 goes east and west, I-29 goes north and south. Pick one and get on it.
4. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter-million dollar combines that we drive three weeks a year.
5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly.
Try
to understand the concept.
6. We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old. Yeah, we saw "Bambi," too. We got over it.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of ducks are coming in, we will shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah, we eat walleye and ling. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the Friday of the first full week in November.
10. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you jack-slapped, by our women.
11. We open doors for women. That applies to everyone regardless of age.
12. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
13. When we fill out a table there are three main dishes:
meats,vegetables and breads. We use three spices -- salt, pepper and BBQ sauce.
14. You bring "Coke" into my house it better be brown, wet, served over ice and plenty of it! You bring "Hooch" into my house, it better have 4 legs, a tail and have a nose for quail, dove,duck,teal, or pheasant. You bring "Mary Jane" to my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck and have long hair.
15. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar, some lemon, and a long spoon.
16. High School Basketball is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
17. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards-- it spooks the fish.
18. Colleges? Try Minot State, North Dakota State University, and the University of North Dakota. They come out of there with an education and a love of country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come home for the holidays.
19. We have more Navy, Army, Marines, and Air Force than you can count, so "Don't Mess With North Dakota" . If you do, you'll get your butt kicked by the best!
20. Our military is only used as a back up. Per capita, each man, woman, and child owns at least two firearms and learned to shoot as a kid
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Subject: ND, Rules for Visitors
`
The following list of rules applies to each person as they enter North Dakota.
`
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Let's get this straight, it's called a 'gravel road'.
I drive a pickup truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus or BMW. Drive it , or get out of the way.
3. They are cattle and oil wells. That's what they smell like to you; they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-94 goes east and west, I-29 goes north and south. Pick one and get on it.
4. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter-million dollar combines that we drive three weeks a year.
5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly.
Try
to understand the concept.
6. We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old. Yeah, we saw "Bambi," too. We got over it.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of ducks are coming in, we will shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah, we eat walleye and ling. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the Friday of the first full week in November.
10. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you jack-slapped, by our women.
11. We open doors for women. That applies to everyone regardless of age.
12. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
13. When we fill out a table there are three main dishes:
meats,vegetables and breads. We use three spices -- salt, pepper and BBQ sauce.
14. You bring "Coke" into my house it better be brown, wet, served over ice and plenty of it! You bring "Hooch" into my house, it better have 4 legs, a tail and have a nose for quail, dove,duck,teal, or pheasant. You bring "Mary Jane" to my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck and have long hair.
15. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar, some lemon, and a long spoon.
16. High School Basketball is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
17. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards-- it spooks the fish.
18. Colleges? Try Minot State, North Dakota State University, and the University of North Dakota. They come out of there with an education and a love of country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come home for the holidays.
19. We have more Navy, Army, Marines, and Air Force than you can count, so "Don't Mess With North Dakota" . If you do, you'll get your butt kicked by the best!
20. Our military is only used as a back up. Per capita, each man, woman, and child owns at least two firearms and learned to shoot as a kid
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