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Found Out My X Passed Away

chuckchuck Member Posts: 4,911
edited March 2004 in General Discussion
My Daughter called and told me. I was married to my x for 27 years, When we went to court she got everything including Alamoney fer life, I have been paying 300.00 a Mo. for 15 years, I have hated her for 20 years, and now that she is gone, I dont know how I feel, I feel sorry for my Daughters and my Grandaughter. I think I still hate her but not as much, So will Let GOD Judge her.
I sure could use some help here, Good or Bad.
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Comments

  • Brth729Brth729 Member Posts: 1,231 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Having to deal with an ex isn't always an easy thing to do. I know from experience as I myself have a former Mrs..... I'm not sure what you're looking for right now, and your post kind of sends a mixed message. Not really sure if I should offer condolences or congratulations. Either way, my thoughts are with you and yours.

    Brian

    My grandfather once told me,"It's not what a man possesses that determines the importance and quality of his life, but rather what possesses the man.
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  • rldowns3rldowns3 Member Posts: 6,096
    edited November -1
    [Dr. Phil mode]
    Although you may hate her, there is no denying you have a bond with her. Without her you wouldn't have your children and grandchildren, correct? Despite the bad feelings, deeper than all the hate and discontentment you lost the mother of your children and feeling a loss is understandable. You have my condolences.
    [/Dr. Phil mode]

    [Insensitive jerk mode]
    But, hey, you just saved yourself $300 a month. The montly reminder of your anger and malcontent of this person in whom you obviously have had bad feelings for, for a very long time, is no longer going to be hounding you every time you get your paychecks. Congratulations.
    [/Insensitive jerk mode]

    aliens.jpg
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  • 358 WINCHESTER358 WINCHESTER Member Posts: 1,799 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Chuck,
    An ex anything is sometimes hard to deal with just try to put it behind you worry about the daughters and grandchilderen take some of the money go out buy the kids something and keep on keeping on.
    Good luck & hang in there.

    Son if you didn't learn something today, you wasted the whole day. (Jasper N. Lee, my granddaddy)
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  • chappsynychappsyny Member Posts: 3,381 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Not to be curt, and all bonds asside, you are now free from a terrible burden that you never should have been put under in the first place (alimony). Every month, if you buy a gun with that $300 you would have sent to the ex, those mixed feeligns will clarify themselves real soon.

    YOu're doing the right thing by letting go of your hate for her. Hate will destroy a person. Now you can move on with your life in a new direction with a new outlook. Good luck.

    New Hampshire, USA - "Live Free or Die!!!"
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  • SwwboSwwbo Member Posts: 1,255 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Condolences to you, your Daughter's and Grandaughter, I'm sure you're feeling their pain and will be there for them..As far as your feelings about your ex, I will make no comment..You'll come to an understanding of the past on your on..

    Chihuahua_mexican.gif
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  • 11thcanopy11thcanopy Member Posts: 448 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Chuck, In January I also lost my ex-wife.

    Our Daughters were with her when she finally passed away.

    Over the years we had both re-married and eventually were able to be somewhat civil to each other.

    WE had spent 22 years together before our divorce.

    I try to remember the good days and forget the bad.

    Our daughters and her sisters are all out in Biloxi this weekend slugging the slots and sitting at the blackjack tables. Sort of doing it in their honor, she loved to gamble. Expect they will also have a drink or two.

    I have yet to really decide how I feel about her being gone.

    Believe I will just continue remembering the good days.

    Country music can pretty well sum up our life together. I think it would go something like this.

    "A good hearted woman in love with a good timing man" by Willie and Waylon, "I over looked an orchid while searching for a rose" by Mickey Gillie, and " He stopped loving her today" by George Jones..

    Glad you posted about your ex. I have wanted to do the same but just couldn't seem to get it done.

    Best regards, 11canopy
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  • greeker375greeker375 Member Posts: 3,644
    edited November -1
    Chuck
    Hate is a very strong emotion and though common to man is an absolute drain on your resources. Life is too short to commit every fiber of your being to hating someone. Concentrate on your offspring. If you have a relationship with them admit bad feelings, but, reinforce to them their mother/grandmother loved them immensely and in that regard you considered her a good and worthy companion. Don't mention alimony or petty differences or the decline of your union as that creates angst your kids/grandkids will pick up on and may put some distance between ya'll.
    Regardless your differences, a loss of life is a tragedy and I know somewhere within you your head is bowed.

    "the difference between the almost right word and the right word is like the difference between a lightning bug and a lightning bolt" - Mark Twain.
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  • toolmaniamtoolmaniam Member Posts: 3,213
    edited November -1
    What did she die from? Can I give it to my Ex? I won't shed a tear when that witch goes.[}:)]

    A dead intruder cannot testify against you in a court of law!

    If they're still moving, put another round in them!



    P239n_Beauty.gif
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  • cbxjeffcbxjeff Member Posts: 17,637 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I lost my first wife in a wishing well. I didn't know they worked!

    cbxjeff<P>It's too late for me, save yourself. <br>
    It's too late for me, save yourself.
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  • radikalrednekradikalrednek Member Posts: 199 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Some guys have all the luck!
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  • bolthandlebolthandle Member Posts: 1,213 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I was married to my ex for 17 years.

    Then I got a new job which paid more, had better benefits.

    The exs father was a farmer who had lost his wife several years earlier, he had been recently been diagnosed with esophagial cancer(death sentence).

    So one night while at work the, ex cleaned everything she wanted out of the house with the help of her father and left. Leaving only a (dear John letter) saying blah, blah, blah.

    She thought she ws going to get rich quick and have me in the poor house.

    Her daddy was a (sugar daddy) for her.
    She had him tied around her little finger.

    He found out way to late from his sons what she was up to.

    Well, now the ex has nearly nothing to show for her move.

    Bolt

    PEACE THROUGH SUPERIOR FIREPOWER
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  • dcon12dcon12 Member Posts: 32,040 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I have an ex and would be hurt by her death. We have 3 kids and 2 grandchildren together so even tho we are no longer togerther we still have a bond. Anger causes people to lash out and say things they would not otherwise say. Feeling get hurt in divorce and it is easier for people to act as if they wish it would never have happened but I feel that is truly not the case.
    I read somewhere once that "there is no greater hate than that which is caused by love". Just my opinion, Don.

    "Right is Right, even is everyone is against it, and wrong is wrong, even if everyone is for it"
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  • chuckchuck Member Posts: 4,911
    edited November -1
    Thanks a LOT everybody, I was up thinking till 4am last night. Thinking is something I dont like doing, it always get's me in to trouble. It's like a big Burden lifted off my shoulders, I am letting the HATE go, God has Judged her so what I think about her means nothing, will concentrate on helping my Daughters they have a lot of Legal stuff to go though. They live in California, maybe I can get them out of their now. My X still had the house I bought her 30 some years ago, And I am sure the State of Calif. will screw my daughters out of it. It's in La Marada, Calif. and worth a lot of money. Thanks again for Ans. my post.
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  • mateomasfeomateomasfeo Member Posts: 27,143
    edited November -1
    Sorry to see you awash in this quagmire...

    Let the dead bury the dead.
    [xx(]


    oswald.jpg

    Mateomasfeo

    "I am what I am!" - Popeye
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  • dcon12dcon12 Member Posts: 32,040 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Let the dead bury the dead.
    [xx(]


    oswald.jpg

    Mateomasfeo

    Man that is deep. What the H does it mean? Don

    "Right is Right, even is everyone is against it, and wrong is wrong, even if everyone is for it"
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  • mateomasfeomateomasfeo Member Posts: 27,143
    edited November -1
    quote:Man that is deep. What the H does it mean? Don

    I don't know, just thought it sounded good!

    [8D]


    oswald.jpg

    Mateomasfeo

    "I am what I am!" - Popeye
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  • redrebelredrebel Member Posts: 826 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Congratulations


    powder_solvent.JPG

    Oh Hoppe's No. 9 you are so fine.

    I need to get me some more of those bullet propulsion devices.

    One shot, one kill, 29 more for the thrill.
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  • Colt SuperColt Super Member Posts: 31,007 ✭
    edited November -1
    Chuck - Perhaps you should ask yourself how you would have felt about her if there had been no alimony.

    Or - how would you feel if she had been paying YOU alimony?

    God Bless America and...
    NEVER Forget WACO
    NEVER, EVER Forget 911
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  • dheffleydheffley Member Posts: 25,000 ✭
    edited November -1
    My ex passed away, and our son asked me to go to the funeral for him. I went, and to my surprise, was welcomed by her family. It was a good thing, and I was able to bury many years of anger with her. Since her death, I have been able to recall some good things in our life together. I can honestly say, I wish I had been in more touch with her than I was. We shared a child and 3 (now 4) grandchildren together. Time heals all things.

    How you doin'!wolf_evil_smile_md_wht.gif
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  • bigtirebigtire Member Posts: 24,800
    edited November -1
    Found out this summer that my ex has cancer.. I was not surprised. I am a firm believer in "what comes around goes around" or "you reap what you sow". I knew she would get what was coming to her one day. I feel neither happy nor sad, just kind of vindicated.

    From85-01.jpgTosoftair-eagle.jpg
    And everything in between.
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  • p3skykingp3skyking Member Posts: 23,916 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Whatever you do let go of the hate, but consider this; Would you prefer she heard that YOU passed on?[:0]
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  • select-fireselect-fire Member Posts: 69,524 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    condolences to all
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  • JustCJustC Member Posts: 16,056 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    condolences my friend. It appears this season has presented us with more loss than we had hoped for,..but in light of that fact,.we learn to appreciate life and loved ones more and the time we have with them. Strange for me to be saying that at 31yrs young,..but God has his plans for us all. The recent loss of a friend has taught me to slow down some and enjoy what we have left. Get the Kids/grandkids around you more often and savor it.



    why chase the game when the bullet can get em from here?....
    Got Balistics?
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  • mateomasfeomateomasfeo Member Posts: 27,143
    edited November -1
    quote:Found Out My X Passed Away

    Hey Chuck, nobody likes a braggard!


    oswald.jpg

    Mateomasfeo

    "I am what I am!" - Popeye
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  • justmejustme Member Posts: 75 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Chuck,
    you may have some really bad times..but there had to be good times at one point. You shared a part of your life with the woman. To have mixed feelings is normal. Speaking as a woman who is a ex and married to a man who has a ex..I see no reason to let hate carry on through life. If my ex or my husbands ex passed I would feel awful as they were a part of our lives at one time. I would really feel bad for our children. We go on with our lives...but it doesn`t change the fact that at one time they were a big part of our lives. My sympathy to your family.
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  • chuckchuck Member Posts: 4,911
    edited November -1
    Thank you all, I need more time to come to an disision, But so far HURAY, I am sorry for what my children have to go though. But they are both over 40 years old, and they are not very nice people.
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  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427 ✭
    edited November -1
    You and the kids will be in my prayers....

    This is not directed at you Chuck, nor at anyone in particular, but I have often wondered why men are so full of hatred for the ex wives, calling them down every chance they get and yet they choose to marry them, choose to sleep with them, have kids with them and never stop to think that maybe, just maybe they contributed to the break up?...Maybe the ex being a bit** is because of something you men did?... Nooo couldnt ever be that huh?..

    cute_skunk.gif


    Lil' Stinker's Opinion
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