In order to participate in the GunBroker Member forums, you must be logged in with your GunBroker.com account. Click the sign-in button at the top right of the forums page to get connected.
where does it end
Winston Bode
Member Posts: 1,628 ✭✭✭✭✭
Got a text today from woman at church. She brought a family to church this morning and loaded them up with food from our food pantry. Then she text me saying these folks are homeless, really where'd all the groceries go then? Anyway she wants money, $200, to put em in a hotel for a week while the husband starts a new job tomorrow. I'd like to help, really I would, but I'm $12,000.00 in the hole from helping two other families who promised to pay me back but are real slow remembering where they got the money to move into their current residence or where they got the use of my 2004 Dodge pick up to get back and forth to work. And now i find out today he's working in Midland in my truck. Its not in that great a shape to be driving all over hell and back. I dont know, i keep trying to do the christian thing but I've got a family and a life of my own. I know my reward is in heaven but can't i get a break here on earth?
I guess I'm down ranting. I feel like a heal cause i have about $800 rat holed for a motorcycle project. I'm just torn.
I guess I'm down ranting. I feel like a heal cause i have about $800 rat holed for a motorcycle project. I'm just torn.
Comments
Got a text today from woman at church. She brought a family to church this morning and loaded them up with food from our food pantry. Then she text me saying these folks are homeless, really where'd all the groceries go then? Anyway she wants money, $200, to put em in a hotel for a week while the husband starts a new job tomorrow. I'd like to help, really I would, but I'm $12,000.00 in the hole from helping two other families who promised to pay me back but are real slow remembering where they got the money to move into their current residence or where they got the use of my 2004 Dodge pick up to get back and forth to work. And now i find out today he's working in Midland in my truck. Its not in that great a shape to be driving all over hell and back. I dont know, i keep trying to do the christian thing but I've got a family and a life of my own. I know my reward is in heaven but can't i get a break here on earth?
I guess I'm down ranting. I feel like a heal cause i have about $800 rat holed for a motorcycle project. I'm just torn.
Being a Christian doesn't mean you are responsible for all the worlds poor. Even Christ didn't try to eliminate poverty.
but it still comes back to your family and knowing when a helping hand or support has to end . its a difficult thing but sometimes for the good of your family and keeping it together everyone else has to take a back seat .
we have always said if we won the Lotto ( hard do since we do not play ) it would be good to do good for people and rescue shelters for animals.
but like stated above you can not carry the weight on your shoulders your a good man I am sure you can work out wants best for your family
YOU CANT SAVE THE WORLD
you have to draw a line, or you will be like that person with 30 cats, except with people, and cats are much cheaper
Pick your candidates with a few questions next time.[:)]
Been there, done that, and I lost a lot because of it!
I don't know what kind of resources your Church has, but if they have a food for the poor program chances are they have an emergency fund for situations like this. Tell the woman who thinks you are wealthy to turn him over to the minister or one of the deacons. They are more likely to be objective and avoid throwing money down the black hole anyway.
I have to agree with James. You should not be placed in the position of having to finance the good deeds this woman would like to do. The church is a congregation for a reason. It allows people to work together to do acts of good work.
Our faith asks us to do what we can. That doesn't mean that we do for others and not for ourselves. You have money ratholed for a project. But isn't that money also available should your family have a need?
Helping others should not become a burden to the point that we are stressed about it. I am sorry to say it, but this woman at your church has apparently done that to you, and it isn't a very nice thing for her to do.
There is also a time when giving the help becomes being taken advantage of.
Yep, help others all you can until they try to sucker you, then drop the hammer.
There are others who are just leeches and will drain you of everything you are willing to give them.
Don't let children sway your decision...I hate the thought of a suffering child as much as anyone, but if the parents are losers there is truly nothing you can do.
Finally, before you place the burden of helping them on yourself or your church, make sure they have checked on public assistance programs they may be eligible for.......we have these programs anyways, you may as well use them.
I'm happy to say that me and my wife have helped a couple of people out in times of need, and the satisfaction you get from that beats anything that money can buy.
-Rack Ops, the Atheist [:)]
We are minus a preacher right now, I'm the only deacon and the church is steadily going broke from paying out and taking in very little. I guess thats why this woman started calling other church members after she texted me. Churches rely on members who tithe but when you have 50% who don't tithe at all or very little and 50% who tithe their 10% but dont attend regularly its hard to make payroll and pay the bills plus dealing with A/C units that are 30 years old or so that need work every spring to get any relief. I dont know, im just discouraged. When i felt the call to minister and retired from the p d my wife said i jumped out of the frying pan into the fire. Im starting to think she was right.
I heard on the news that the singer TAYLOR SWIFT just donated $50,000 to a 12 year old girl in the town just east of here. This child was found to have a six to nine month fight for her life against Leukemia. One of those terrible moments when the doctor calls about test results and tells you to get your child to the hospital. Drop everything and get her there NOW! It was that bad.
SWIFT heard about it because the child is a fan and SWIFT is attentive to her fans. Stays connected via social media. She sends Christmas presents she buys and wraps herself. Shows up to parties bringing well thought out surprises she figured out from studying all that social media. Pays medical bills unrequested, because she read about them. Shows up to surprise kids in the hospital, just visits and does mini-concerts. Obviously she spends a ton of money and some of her own time doing many good deeds.
Here's the point - she can afford it, you plainly cannot. The burdens that are reasonable for a wealthy person with vast resources are unbalanced, out of kilter for you. The strains that are little to a philanthropist of great means are absurd for the average working man.
The qualities of Heart and of Caring are beautiful things. But if they become injurious to self or family the devotion to good deeds has gone too far.
None of this means you must stop. You need not declare an end to your good deeds. All of it means you should continue but find that point where it becomes hurtful, and back off some. Set a limit as you should with any other good thing that should not be overdone.
Decide what you can give in time, money and resources per month and year. Treat it like a budget. Make it known in your church to whatever extent you are willing to share the info.
Then live within your means.
Which, when it comes to Charity, Philanthropy and Good Deeds are less the capacity of a kind heart and more the ability to stand beneath the burden.
Well as far as the church goes...
We are minus a preacher right now, I'm the only deacon and the church is steadily going broke from paying out and taking in very little. I guess thats why this woman started calling other church members after she texted me. Churches rely on members who tithe but when you have 50% who don't tithe at all or very little and 50% who tithe their 10% but dont attend regularly its hard to make payroll and pay the bills plus dealing with A/C units that are 30 years old or so that need work every spring to get any relief. I dont know, im just discouraged. When i felt the call to minister and retired from the p d my wife said i jumped out of the frying pan into the fire. Im starting to think she was right.
I'm sorry to hear your Church is in such trouble. I've seen Churches with this kind of trouble survive, but not very many and not very often. I think you should be concentrating on making sure you aren't taking on personal responsibility for Church obligations.
First make sure this is a family in need and not habitual deadbeats. Maybe you could introduce the family to the congregation and pass the plate. If the family is too proud to stand in front of the congregation, they are too proud to have a full belly. If the congregation is too poor or too stingy to help, I'd start looking for another Church.
I sincerely hope you can pull this Church through the hard times. I'm afraid you have too many "Sunday Christians". A lot of "Sunday Christians" don't seem to understand the tithe isn't a gift or donation to the Church. It's an obligation. Donations start at 11% unless you have a separate contract with God. God's cut comes off the top.
You WILL need that $800 to get your truck fixed and returned to you from where ever he abandons it.
I needed some help onetime and there are these panhandlers that hang out at the overpass of Hwy 50 and I540. I stopped and told the guy I would pay him $50 and feed him Lunch and Dinner to help me do some work. He turned me down flat[:0]
Where is the nearest homeless shelter or is that even an option. I always approached these situations with the belief and knowledge that if I helped out, the money was gone and not returning. I was surprised a few times when it came back to me.
God will show you the trail you should follow in this case...prayers for you and your church family....
I know I shouldnt do these things with any expectation of getting anything back but dont tell me you'll pay me back and then don't.
Thanks for the encouraging words. I still have the title to the truck but that does me a fat lot of good unless it gets impounded. I hope he comes through with the money. At least he put full coverage insurance on it so if he wrecks it the check will come to me.
I know I shouldnt do these things with any expectation of getting anything back but dont tell me you'll pay me back and then don't.
Winston, if you are giving someone help with no expectation of being repaid, that is one thing. But if you are helping someone with the expectation that when they repay you, you will be able to help someone else, you are not out of line in your thinking. And none of us like to be taken advantage of.
From my own life, I recall when my sister called needing a loan to make ends meet because she had forgotten to figure in outstanding checks on her account....before she left for a 3 week vacation in Fiji.
I had to tell her that if she could help me come up with an explanation for that one that wouldn't end with me bloody and/or divorced, I was happy to help. We decided that the Greater Bank of Chris wasn't going to be able to make that loan, and she figured something else out.
I imagine these folks can do the same. No matter what, you should not feel bad that you cannot help this time.
We take care of those in our church first. That does not mean we will not help those who never darken the doors of our church. Area churches have a network and can see if someone is abusing their good efforts. Trust me they are everywhere. They have money for smokes, booze, and tats. Month after month you see the same ones lining up at area food pantries for freebees. They never even volunteer at the local mission where they are given free meals. Somewhere I heard it said, "Give a man a fish and he has A meal. Teach a man to fish and he has MANY meals." You have a kind heart. Those you helped will be held accountable by God for abusing your gracious efforts.
Would you give booze to an alcoholic? Cocaine to a drug addict? People who have money problems ALWAYS have money problems. You could give someone who has money problems a million dollars ON TOP OF wiping out all their debts and a few months or a year later they would again have money problems.
And don't try to save your church. Look after yourself and your family first and foremost. I know damn few people with honest to goodness hard luck stories. Sure, a whole lot of people have hard luck stories, but if you sit and listen quietly for a bit it very quickly becomes apparent that their troubles are their own doing, and their bad habits create their problems.
I'm learning that the hard way.
Sometimes, Winston, you've gotta take care of yourself before you can take care of others. Sounds like they've just about drank the well dry. Give it a chance to re-charge.
Yep, too many folks out there willing to suck another man's well dry. They will then move on without a care in the world. Sounds like it is past time for you to get your truck back!
A man of his word does tend to expect others to keep theirs as well.
If you are a good Christian your 10% tithe should be your share.
Got a text today from woman at church. She brought a family to church this morning and loaded them up with food from our food pantry. Then she text me saying these folks are homeless, really where'd all the groceries go then? Anyway she wants money, $200, to put em in a hotel for a week while the husband starts a new job tomorrow. I'd like to help, really I would, but I'm $12,000.00 in the hole from helping two other families who promised to pay me back but are real slow remembering where they got the money to move into their current residence or where they got the use of my 2004 Dodge pick up to get back and forth to work. And now i find out today he's working in Midland in my truck. Its not in that great a shape to be driving all over hell and back. I dont know, i keep trying to do the christian thing but I've got a family and a life of my own. I know my reward is in heaven but can't i get a break here on earth?
I guess I'm down ranting. I feel like a heal cause i have about $800 rat holed for a motorcycle project. I'm just torn.
....send me your 800.00 and I'll invest it for you...[:o)]
[I'd like to help, really I would, but I'm $12,000.00 in the hole from helping two other families who promised to pay me back
About $12,000.00 ago. Don
Yep i know, im a sucker but it was nice to able to help some folks out. I know when my son died and we had to make a trip to Virginia Beach the people at work and at the church pitched in to help defray the cost. Just trying to pay it forward but I'm tapped out.
BTDT and will most likely do it again but I like to tell others that they are suckers. Makes me feel better. Don
If you are the minister and only deacon, you need some help. I'm not qualified to give you advice, but it seems to me you need to try to get at least a couple of good people to be deacons and have a few "business meetings" with the whole congregation.
You can't force anybody at gunpoint to be a deacon, but maybe a little arm twisting and shaming is in order. Explain to the congregation at the business meetings that they have to get with the program if they want to keep their little Church. If only one or two people show up for the meetings, tell them on Sunday morning.
I know the business of a Church is to bring people to Christ and where possible to help those who need help, but you can't do any of that if people want to attend Church for about an hour once a week and nothing more. A Church needs cash money to survive, just like any other organization. When you have a light bill of $200 and people drop a dollar in the plate and look for change, the books won't balance.
People will tell you they can't afford to tithe. Tell them to read their Bible. Stealing from God is not a sound financial decision. [For those about to jump on me for saying that, if you're not a Christian tithing won't do you any good]
Again, I sincerely hope you can save this Church. Get help.