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Jesus is watching you

n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427
edited May 2009 in General Discussion
A burglar broke into a home. He heard a soft voice say,"Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search. Again"Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around , saw a parrot in a cage. He asked the parrot if he was the one talking. The parrot said yes. He asked the parrot his name the parrot said, "Moses."The burglar asked, "What kind of people would name a parrot Moses?"The parrot "The same kind of people who would name their pit bull Jesus.

Comments

  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427
    edited November -1
    A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search. Again the voice said "Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around and saw a parrot in a cage. He asked the parrot if he was the one talking and the parrot said, "yes." He asked the parrot what his name was and the parrot said, "Moses." The burglar asked, "what kind of people would name a parrot Moses?" The parrot said, "the same kind of people who would name their pit bull Jesus".
  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427
    edited November -1
    is what the burglar heard as he crept into the house, having broken the lock on the door. He opened his gunny-sack and started placing small valuables in it when he heard it again- "Jesus is watching you, and your deeds will be punished". The burglar looked around but saw no one, so said "Bah, I must be imagining things" and went about taking things. He worked his way across the room and heard for a third time "Jesus is watching you, Repent". this time the burglar noticed the source of the cautions and say "why you're just a Parrot, trained by the owner to act as watchdog and scare people, so what's your name?"

    "Moses" said the parrot.

    To which the burglar responded "what sort of an idiot would give a name like Moses to a parrot?"

    To which Moses responded "Oh, the same kind of idiot that would give the name Jesus to a Rottweiler!"
  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427
    edited November -1
    A burglar broke into a house one night.

    He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables; and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."

    He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

    When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head and continued.

    Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."

    Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.

    Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

    Did you say that?" He hissed at the parrot.

    "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."

    The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

    "Moses," replied the bird.

    "Moses?" the burglar laughed . "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"

    "The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus." [}:)][}:)]
  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427
    edited November -1
    A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,

    "Jesus knows you're here."

    He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

    When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.

    Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard:

    "Jesus is watching you."

    Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.

    Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

    "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.

    "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you."

    The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

    "Moses," replied the bird.

    "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird `Moses?'"

    "The same kind of people who would name a Rottweiler `Jesus.'"


    aggressive-Rottweiler_zps478c225b.jpg
  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427
    edited November -1
    One of my favorite jokes


    P1000769.jpg

    A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables; and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."

    He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables.

    Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.

    Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot perked on the top of a cage. "Did you say that?", he hissed at the parrot.

    "Yep," the parrot confessed, then continued, "I'm just trying to warn you."

    The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

    "Moses," replied the bird.

    "Moses?"-the burglar laughed. "What kind of weirdo would name a bird Moses?"

    "The kind of weirdo that would name a Rottweiler, Jesus," loudly squawked the parrot.

    rottweiler.jpg
  • 7RiverMan77RiverMan7 Member Posts: 1,522 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
  • MVPMVP Member Posts: 23,453 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
  • k_townmank_townman Member Posts: 3,588
    edited November -1
    Jesus Is Watching You



    Does that mean Jesus is a voyeur? [}:)][:p][;)]
  • 11BravoCrunchie11BravoCrunchie Member Posts: 33,423 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Ceiling Cat is watching you too.

    Ceiling%20cat%20900.jpg
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