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Anger management A Classic!

gearheaddadgearheaddad Member Posts: 15,125 ✭✭✭
edited May 2007 in General Discussion
This is hysterical.......

If You've had a bad day and you just need to take it out on someone,
take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten
I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying Hello." I
said, "This is Dylan. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right
number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe
that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct
number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last
two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number
again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're a *****!"
and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word '*****' next to
and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks when I was paying
bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're a *****!"

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic '****'
calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi,
this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if
you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him
back and said, "That's because you're a *****!" and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting
for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in
window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first ***** (I had
his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW
*****, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for
He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, It's a yellow rambler, and
the car's parked right out in front."

I asked, "What's your name?"
He said, "My name is Don Hansen,"
I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're a*****!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I
had a problem, I had two *****s to call.
Then I came up with an idea. I called ***** #1.
He said, "Hello."
I said, "You're a *****!" (But I didn't hang up.)
He asked, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah,"
He screamed, "Stop calling me,"
I said, "Make me,"
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "*****, I live at 34
Oaktree Blvd, a yellow split-level, I have a black Beamer parked in

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
saying your prayers."

I said, Yeah, like I'm really scared, *****," and hung up.
Then I called ***** #2.
He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, *****,"
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimmed, "I'll kick your *,"
I answered, "Well, *****, here's your chance. I'm coming over
right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived
at 34 Oaktree Blvd, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree
Blvd. I quickly got into my car and headed over there. I got there
just in time to watch two *****s beating the crap out of each other
front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a
news crew.

NOW, I feel much better.
Anger management really does work.


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