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You're so ugly...

CubsloverCubslover Member Posts: 18,601 ✭✭
edited September 2006 in General Discussion
...you need a face transplant.

Seriously, I guess this is good for people who have been disfigured.

http://www.thevictoriaadvocate.com/front/story/3196339p-3701646c.html

texasC.gifthumb_Texas-AM.jpg
Half of the lives they tell about me aren't true.

Comments

  • CubsloverCubslover Member Posts: 18,601 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    You're so ugly, when you walk into the bank they turn off the cameras.

    If ugliness were bricks, you would be the Great Wall Of China.

    You're so ugly, you went to a haunted house and came out with an application.

    If ugliness was a crime, you'd get the electric chair.

    You were so ugly at birth, your parents named you poop Happens.

    You're so ugly, your mate won't have to worry about birth control...your face will do just fine.

    You're so ugly, you could model for death threats.

    You're so ugly, when you were born they put tinted windows on your incubator.

    You're so ugly, you have to sneak up on your mirror.

    You're so ugly, when you look in the mirror your reflection turns to stone.

    You're so ugly, when you sit in the sand the cats try to bury you.

    You're so ugly, your doctor is a vet.

    You're so ugly, when you were born the doctor took one look at you and slapped your parents.

    You're so ugly, you stuck your head out of the car window and got arrested for mooning.

    You're so ugly, your pet name is Scooby-Doo.

    Your girl is so ugly, you gave her a hickey and got a mouthful of fur.

    You're so ugly, you have to Trick or Treat by phone.

    You're so ugly, when your mother went into labor your father went into shock.

    You're so ugly, every time your mother looks at you she says to herself, "Damn, I should've
    just given head."

    I know why you look like a horse, because I saw your mother grazing in the field.

    You're so ugly, when we play peek-a-boo - first I peeked, then I booed.

    You're so ugly, you can sink your face in dough and make monster cookies.

    You're so ugly, they call you Taco Bell, when people see you they run for the border.

    You're so ugly, you make onions cry.

    You're so ugly, the tide wouldn't bring you in.

    You're so ugly, I took you to see the zookeeper and he said, "Thanks for bringing him back."

    You're so ugly, you mother had to get drunk before she breast fed you.

    You're so ugly, you went to a freak show and got a permanent job.

    You're so ugly, the police sketch artists are afraid to draw you.

    You're so ugly, when you get sick they call the vet.

    You're so ugly, you make blind kids cry.

    You're so ugly, farmers use your picture as a scarecrow.

    You're so ugly, every time you go out you get chased by the dog catcher.

    You're so ugly, when you jerk off your hand tries to fall asleep.

    You're so ugly, you can't hail a bus.

    You're so ugly, they call you Moses because every time you step in the lake, the water parts.

    You're so ugly, you give Freddy Kruegger nightmares.

    You're so ugly, they let you park in handicapped spaces.

    You're so ugly, when you threw a boomerang it didn't come back.

    You're so ugly, when you went to the zoo they refused to let you out.

    You're so ugly, you can't get a date off the calendar.

    You're so ugly, when your mother went into labor the doctors went on strike.

    You're so ugly, your last name is Link and your first is Missing.

    You're so ugly, people put your picture in their car window as an anti-theft device.

    You're so ugly, that you can turn milk into yogurt, just by looking at it.

    You're so ugly, people create a Jackson Pollock style painting when they spew on the floor.

    You're so ugly, you could model for death threats.

    You're so ugly, when you were born they put tinted windows on your incubator.

    You're so ugly, you have to sneak up on your mirror.

    You're so ugly, when you look in the mirror your reflection turns to stone.

    You're so ugly, when you sit in the sand the cats try to bury you.

    You're so ugly, your doctor is a vet.
    Half of the lives they tell about me aren't true.
  • He DogHe Dog Member Posts: 51,593 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Gosh, and I thought we were friends...[B)]
  • LaidbackDanLaidbackDan Member Posts: 13,142 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Beauty is only skin deep, you know?[:(!][:(!]
  • LaidbackDanLaidbackDan Member Posts: 13,142 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    But Ugly is to the bone.[;)]
  • CubsloverCubslover Member Posts: 18,601 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by He Dog
    Gosh, and I thought we were friends...[B)]


    There's more where that came from...[}:)]
    Half of the lives they tell about me aren't true.
  • dcon12dcon12 Member Posts: 32,040 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by He Dog
    Gosh, and I thought we were friends...[B)]



    See what happens when you think. Don
  • LaidbackDanLaidbackDan Member Posts: 13,142 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    At least your not talk'in bout mah Mahmah.
  • LowriderLowrider Member Posts: 6,587
    edited November -1
    And of course there's the oldie but goodie:

    If I had a dog as ugly as you I'd shave his * and make him walk backwards.
  • scottm21166scottm21166 Member Posts: 20,723
    edited November -1
    had to tie a pork chop around your neck to get the dog to play with you
    the milk carton with your picture went missing
    sweat runs off your face
    every time you go outside there is an eclipse
    your momma diapered your face
    your dad slapped your momma
    the dr slapped your face when you were born
    you went to congress and the politicians were speechless
    pt barnum said...no one will believe thats real when you applied for a job
    even a mother couldn't love you
    you scared the elephant man
    the pamplona bulls ran the other way
    the beauty...ran l;ike hell
  • JorgeJorge Member Posts: 10,656 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Cubs, you are so ugly you can cover for the Bogeyman while he's on vacation!!!
    [:D][:D][:D]
  • CubsloverCubslover Member Posts: 18,601 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by Polite Psycho
    Cubs, you are so ugly you can cover for the Bogeyman while he's on vacation!!!
    [:D][:D][:D]


    Thanks!
    Half of the lives they tell about me aren't true.
  • He DogHe Dog Member Posts: 51,593 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Cubs, did your parents have any children that survived?
  • Slow_HandSlow_Hand Member Posts: 2,835
    edited November -1
    You're so ugly your face could stop a calendar.[:(]
  • mondmond Member Posts: 6,458
    edited November -1
    Clubs , you & the missus had a fall out ,huh!! (taking tips)[:D][8D][;)]
  • p3skykingp3skyking Member Posts: 23,916 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    What a useful utilization of bandwidth.[xx(]
  • 11BravoCrunchie11BravoCrunchie Member Posts: 33,423 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    You're so ugly the highway department uses you to stop traffic in construction zones.
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