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Chuck Norris
txlawdog
Member Posts: 10,039 ✭✭
I saw a shirt this morning that said, "Chuck does all my stunts." It had a picture of him flying in the air. I thought of the forums when I saw that shirt.
Chuck Norris does everybody's stunts.
Chuck Norris does everybody's stunts.
Comments
http://chucknorrisisgod.com/
Wonder if any of this is true?
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Or one of my personal favorite(s): There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Or: chuck norris is the reason waldo is hiding.
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/all-chuck-norris-facts
The city of Dallas wanted to name a major street Chuck Norris Boulevard but decided against it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once played Russian Roulette with a muzzleloader and won.
If Chuck Norris punched you, you would have to fight off the urge to thank him
Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral
When Chuck Norris drinks to much alcohol he doesn't get alcohol poisoning, the alcohol gets Chuck Norris poisoning...
When Chuck Norris goes on a picnic, the ants bring him food.
2. Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
3. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
4. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
6. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
7. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Chuck Norris doesn't jump. He pushes the Earth down.
Chuck Norris doesn't shave, he scares his follicles into submission.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Norris
2.Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
3.Pee Wee Herman got arrested for * in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for * in public.
4.Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
5.Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly `get out of jail free' card.
Where the heck do you get this chit form, lol. These are some of the funniest chucky quotes I have seen.
http://chucknorrisisgod.com/
is a woosh and you can tell him that I Barack H. Obama said it
Message sent, he said for you Obama to hide and wait for your punishment.
I say we should elect Chuck Norris as POTUS.
YES!
If he needs a total gym to work out, Give him to me for a week, I bust his butt into shape[:D][;)][}:)]
Chuck Norris once ate an Indian.
True, that's because Chuck prefers to ride a Harley.
Chuck Norris has a cat named Roundhouse.
The dog's name is Foo Foo and belongs to Tom Cruise.
Chuck Norris has a cat named Roundhouse.
I thought his cat was called "Mc Gyver".
[:p]
quote:Originally posted by Zulu7
I say we should elect Chuck Norris as POTUS.
YES!
You sure about that Bushmaster...You do realize that he's one of those awful Christians, don't you...
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:
Chuck Norris Facts are satirical facts about martial artist and actor Chuck Norris that have become an Internet phenomenon and as a result have become widespread in popular culture. The facts are normally absurd hyperbolic claims about Norris's toughness, attitude, virility, "alpha male status," sophistication and masculinity, for example:
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
The facts typically claim that Chuck Norris is some type of irate, all-powerful superbeing. The Chuck Norris facts have spread around the world, leading not only to translated versions, but also spawning localized versions mentioning country-specific advertisements and other Internet phenomena. Allusions are also sometimes made to his use of roundhouse kicks to perform seemingly any task, his large amount of body hair with specific regard to his beard, and his role in the action television series Walker, Texas Ranger.[:)]
Trinity +++
a small price to pay for getting stuff finally set straight. not a problem at all.