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My Dad called me this
Sam06
Member Posts: 21,244 ✭✭✭✭
Morning. He wanted to know where my Mom was[V]
My Dad is 86, He lives alone in a big * house.
I said Dad, Mom died Dec 18 2001, she is buried in New Albany Ms.
He said; Oh Thats right.
So we talked for about an hour and he told me about imaginary people who live in his house and a bunch of other crazy poop.
Well I got him straightened out but I think the time where he is going to be by himself is quickly coming to an end and I think he realizes it.
It is so sad to see this happen.
No parent wants to bury a child and no child wants to see their parent turn into a mushroom.
My Dad is 86, He lives alone in a big * house.
I said Dad, Mom died Dec 18 2001, she is buried in New Albany Ms.
He said; Oh Thats right.
So we talked for about an hour and he told me about imaginary people who live in his house and a bunch of other crazy poop.
Well I got him straightened out but I think the time where he is going to be by himself is quickly coming to an end and I think he realizes it.
It is so sad to see this happen.
No parent wants to bury a child and no child wants to see their parent turn into a mushroom.
RLTW
Comments
HE will be as relieved as you are, when it is all done and over. He is asking for help, calling you like that.
Dementia is a terrifying thing, so get on it.
Very hard job. We went through this with my aunt and uncle, but they were 100x better off when it was all done.
Merc
Very tough situation, but your dad needs help! Get him out of there, and into an assisted living place, or whatever needs to be done!
HE will be as relieved as you are, when it is all done and over. He is asking for help, calling you like that.
Dementia is a terrifying thing, so get on it.
Very hard job. We went through this with my aunt and uncle, but they were 100x better off when it was all done.
Merc
I tried that for 30 days. He did not do well there. I was with him every day while he was there and he hated it. After about 10 days I saw what he was talking about and he does not need to be in a place like that yet.
quote:Originally posted by Sam06
Morning. He wanted to know where my Mom was[V]
My Dad is 86, He lives alone in a big * house.
I said Dad, Mom died Dec 18 2001, she is buried in New Albany Ms.
He said; Oh Thats right.
So we talked for about an hour and he told me about imaginary people who live in his house and a bunch of other crazy poop.
Well I got him straightened out but I think the time where he is going to be by himself is quickly coming to an end and I think he realizes it.
It is so sad to see this happen.
No parent wants to bury a child and no child wants to see their parent turn into a mushroom.
Social isolation is incredibly destructive to the mind, just as bad if not worse than inactivity to the body.
Can you contact him every day ?
Send a letter every day ?
Other family involved ?
We talk on the phone every day, in the morning and in the evening. I have him call me at 0900 and 1700 if he is late I call him.
We send emails to each other daily
I set up a calendar for him and when we talk we go over his calendar and what he has going on each week. In the evening when we talk that is when he takes his medication and while we are talking he is taking pills and takes his B/P and reads it too me on the phone.
I made "Flash Cards" for him and the are all over the house about what to check and when.
He is safe in his house.
He is happy in his house.
I think he is Ok to Drive. He limits his driving anyway.
The problem is he is lonely.
We had the solution for him to move but he wants to stay in his house, and I want him happy so thats what is happening.
Best of luck to you and your dad.
The last few days fore she died, she was in a hospital. My uncle was with her, and she asked if her husband was coming to see her. He told her, "Mom, Daddy died in 1992." She accepted that, then, in a few minutes, asked, "Have the buried him yet?"
I'm thankful that she had a good mind up until the last few months of her life.
I can understand what your Father is going through.
I'm saddened to hear this, Sam. Stay close and watch over him. I was always away from my Dad, except on rare, short visits. But when he was having this sort of problem, he always had periods of coherency...and I do treasure such priceless moments.
I know the deal. I was in the Army and always gone. I saw my Parents maybe once a year but I went several years not seeing them.
I have brother and thats all I will say about it. He is out of the picture, no help.
I try to go down and see him 4-6 times a year and we do stuff together. We always go fishing up in the Mountains but its getting harder and harder to get to go. He can get around but its like he doesn't want to do anything.
I would like for him to come live with me but that is not going to happen. I told him I would put get a used single wide trailer and put it on my property(I have a little over 10ac) get it hooked up and he could live there. He said he likes it where he is.
I hope you have Power of Attorney and are in control of all his assets.
Yep
All his bank and brokerage accounts and in both our names. I make sure he is paying his bills and not writing checks to the Man in the moon fund.
His stocks and funds are in a brokerage account, I am on it and I know both his brokers and he doesn't do anything unless we talk it over.
That is one thing he does like to talk about is the stock market and we both are active in it.
And fiery auto crashes
Some will die in hot pursuit
While sifting through my ashes
Some will fall in love with life
And drink it from a fountain
That is pouring like an avalanche
Coming down the mountain
Dad asked me one thing, make sure I did anything my Mom needed.
Thankfully I have been able to be there for her, she is appreciative.
I dread the day she can no longer care for herself and truly would prefer her to die faster then that.
She is only 84 and drives and has a sharp mind, a little brittle but otherwise in good shape.
Might think about those visiting nurses from a "bonded" outfits.
Instead of a cat a dog. They need more minding than cats.
quote:Originally posted by beneteau
I hope you have Power of Attorney and are in control of all his assets.
Yep
All his bank and brokerage accounts and in both our names. I make sure he is paying his bills and not writing checks to the Man in the moon fund.
His stocks and funds are in a brokerage account, I am on it and I know both his brokers and he doesn't do anything unless we talk it over.
That is one thing he does like to talk about is the stock market and we both are active in it.
DPOA is different than Joint accounts.
And you might want to change that (or not) while he is lucid. Depending on how you want to treat taxes.
Consult with a CFP or CPA.
It sucks what you're going through.
Even tougher from a distance.
Been there.
Good on you.
We did have one family member who drove a truck, at age 58 he left a warehouse in Dallas and just disappeared. Due to the modern trucks (the ones BSR hates [8D]) the police were able to locate the truck. They soon found the driver at the County Sheriff's office. He was not under arrest yet but could not explain why he broke into a house and scared the holly ghost out of a young couple and the kids.
Lucky for all involved the lady worked as a nurse in a detox unit at a local hospital. She noticed something was "just not right" with him. So no one was injured by the grace of God alone, but the poor guy had gone to the house he had grown up in near Denver.
No warning of any medical problems, just went from 58 to a 6 year old due to Alzheimer's. He went down hill very fast.
Hope you find a way that works out well for you and your Dad. Best of luck to both of you.
I pray he will not get worse but I know that is a wasted breath.
I have 2 neighbors that keep and eye on him. They call in a heart beat if they don't see him or he sounds crazy when they talk to him.
He has a huge fenced in back yard and one lady takes her dog over to run and fetch balls. Dad loves dogs and when she comes over every day he is there and they talk and throw balls for the Dog.
My biggest worry is he is going to get in his car and hurt someone either in a wreck or just run someone over not seeing them.
I guess I am going to keep kicking the can down the road until I have to make the hard decisions.
Thanks again dudes[;)]
About a year ago I encountered an elderly gentleman at the local gas station .He was asking for directions to an address I had never heard of .After talking to him a few minutes I learned he was from a town 4 hours west of here. He had left home to visit his girlfriend who lived a mile from his home .Luckily enough his daughters number was in his cell phone and I was able to contact her .They did not even know he was missing .I made arrangements for our local Sheriffs office to safe-keep him until the daughter could drive down to get him .Hope everything goes well for you You have my prayers
That happened to my Dad last year. He left the house to go eat. He wound up in Stone Mtn Ga and he rear- ended a guy in the down town area and got a ticket. The cops didn't do anything.
Well he was so turned around he didn't know where he was. He finally made it back home, worn out.
I called him about 50 times then I had the cops go check on him. I got the cop on the line and told him how to get onto Dads house.
Well the cops called an ambulance and took him to the hospital and I started driving to Ga.
He was in the hospital for 2 weeks then in recovery place for 5 weeks, That is when I put him in an assisted living facility for trial 30 days. He got better and went home, I stayed with him for 2 weeks to make sure he was going to be OK.
That was the 4th time I have saved his life.
His problem is infection. He has a Foley and he gets an infection and doesn't catch it, then his white blood cell count goes through the roof and he is gone.
He was convinced he was in Charlestown SC[:0] After finding the ticket and looking at the miles on his car I told him "no Dad, you only made it to Stone Mountain"[;)]
I know its not funny but you have to look at it with some humor or you would start crying.
Home health care check ins?