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Old memories, and regrets,........
Marc1301
Member Posts: 31,895 ✭✭✭
Couple of pics of an ex-GF of mine from way back. Pics removed as I shouldn't have posted them without letting her know.She was one of two that would have made a good wife, had I not been a scumbag back in those days.
Treated her like garbage after awhile, and moved on to a friend of hers for a few months before moving on again.
She swallowed some pills of her mothers when I dumped her, and ended up in the hospital. I still remember her father to this day, and how he felt about me,......I don't blame him one little bit.[B)]
For whatever reason, she has always tried to keep in touch with me.
She married one time around 28, and the guy ended up beating her. She divorced him thankfully, and has remained single since.
She has a grown daughter, and a son that is almost 18.
I always got along with her mother, and she thought that we would end up happy ever after. She never held a grudge against me like the father did either.
Long story short for those that are wondering WTH this is about,.....I just found out that her mother is dying from lung cancer. Inoperable stage 4, and probably 4 to 6 weeks to live.
I don't know why she turned to me, but she was crying like a baby. I wish that there was something I could do to ease her pain, but I know there isn't.[V]
To make things even better, she is going in next week for a biopsy of her breast for possible cancer.
I hate myself right now for what pain I caused her many years ago.
Treated her like garbage after awhile, and moved on to a friend of hers for a few months before moving on again.
She swallowed some pills of her mothers when I dumped her, and ended up in the hospital. I still remember her father to this day, and how he felt about me,......I don't blame him one little bit.[B)]
For whatever reason, she has always tried to keep in touch with me.
She married one time around 28, and the guy ended up beating her. She divorced him thankfully, and has remained single since.
She has a grown daughter, and a son that is almost 18.
I always got along with her mother, and she thought that we would end up happy ever after. She never held a grudge against me like the father did either.
Long story short for those that are wondering WTH this is about,.....I just found out that her mother is dying from lung cancer. Inoperable stage 4, and probably 4 to 6 weeks to live.
I don't know why she turned to me, but she was crying like a baby. I wish that there was something I could do to ease her pain, but I know there isn't.[V]
To make things even better, she is going in next week for a biopsy of her breast for possible cancer.
I hate myself right now for what pain I caused her many years ago.
"Beam me up Scotty, there's no intelligent life down here." - William Shatner
Comments
Got a great wife now so I guess it turned out OK.
Perhaps it's not too late. You're not too old to be happy.
I'm pretty sure most of us have someone in our past that we treated like crap and have lived to regret it. I know I have. It was a part of growing up.
Perhaps it's not too late. You're not too old to be happy.
Yep, I'd like to apologize to my first two wives for the prick I was.
You know, I asked mrsdeere one time why she let her ex treat her like crap all them years, yet scolds me for the least little thing.
my bruise from that comment took two months to heal up.[8D]
Best wishes to you, friend.
Marc, all we can do is do the best we can and hope for the best with what we have now. Unfortunately we don't get a do-over of our youth. Or maybe fortunately.
Best wishes to you, friend.
I understand, and thanks James.
This will all be better in the AM, my life has been like a soap opera lately.
I hope to be bored again soon.
I think that many of us were ******** to women, in our younger days. But, most of us never get the chance to set things right.
From what I know of you, you're a good man. So, I believe you'll treat her right, at this time.
Odds are you made the right decision those many years ago. I have a friend who married a young lady after she told him she would kill herself if he left her.
Huge mistake.
She has issues, and unless you want to take on a project that may never end, be very careful.
Brad Steele
Beware of where you are going with this.
Odds are you made the right decision those many years ago. I have a friend who married a young lady after she told him she would kill herself if he left her.
Huge mistake.
She has issues, and unless you want to take on a project that may never end, be very careful.
I've got to say Don has made a VERY Valid point right here...
There's nothing wrong with being the best you can be now... Regardless of what ever happened before.
It shouldn't include actions or reactions based solely upon any guilt or remorse you may feel now.
Be a good friend and listen... But, be sure that your actions are taken simply for what they should be...
"A friend who sincerely feels compassion for current circumstances... for other friends and relatives."
Don't get caught sending unwanted or unwarranted vibes... To do so would certainly complicate matters.
Good Luck Marc... I know you'll do what in your mind and heart is right.
Don makes a damned good point.......but sometimes you just can't "turn it off" no matter how stupid the choice is.
Like a lot of these guys, many of us have been in your shoes regarding old GF's. When I was a young man fresh out of the Marines, and reeling from my first divorce I had a similar situation happen to me.
Before I left for the Marines I dumped a really good girl because she just couldn't accept my wild, crazy ways. I was 17, and later I heard she moved to Miami with some older guy. Jump ahead about 4-5 years and I'm working nights loading trucks. My boss comes to me and tells me there is some girl out on the loading docks crying hysterically and saying she has to see me. It was Carolyn from my past. She had been really screwed over by some guy and said I was the only man she could trust. I told the boss I had to leave, and he said if you go, you're fired! So I left with Carolyn, we spent the night together naked, and didn't have any form of sex. She just needed to be held all night. This was the first time in my life I ever did the "right" thing! We parted ways the next day, and I haven't heard from her since. Maybe I'll try to look her up, and hope her life turned out better than mine! Doug
In my case, if I had hit the rewind button everytime I screwed up, I probably would be 30 years younger than I am.[:0]
"But for the grace of God" .. you know the rest.
You'll do the right thing . whatever you do.
My two cents.
And fiery auto crashes
Some will die in hot pursuit
While sifting through my ashes
Some will fall in love with life
And drink it from a fountain
That is pouring like an avalanche
Coming down the mountain
Beware of where you are going with this.
Odds are you made the right decision those many years ago. I have a friend who married a young lady after she told him she would kill herself if he left her.
Huge mistake.
She has issues, and unless you want to take on a project that may never end, be very careful.
Don,....I understand what you are saying, but I don't think she has issues really.
She was only 17/18 when that 'stunt' happened, and I blame it on immaturity. She was absolutely crazy about me for whatever reason, and when she found out I was starting something up with a close friend of hers, and tossing her aside, I guess it hit her very hard.
I didn't tell the rest of our history.
About the time she was 25, we got back together again, and she moved in with me.
She worked, cooked for me, cleaned my house, everything she could do to make me happy.
Within a year, I was back to my old ways again, and it didn't take long for her to find out. I had a feeling she knew, but she didn't say anything about it at the time.
When I told her it wasn't going to work, she said she knew what I had been doing for a couple of months. She probably smelled perfume on me, and things like that when I would claim I was out with the guys. She said she would forgive me, and wanted to make it work.
When I said it wasn't going to be that way,....another bad scene, but nothing like the first time.
That was the only time in my life I took a 'beating' from a woman. She pounded on my chest, and slapped me until she collapsed in tears in the hallway,......still remember it like yesterday.
I just stood there and let her do it, and walked away. She finally came into the family room, and looked at me watching a football game like nothing had even happened. At that point she started packing her stuff, and prepared to leave.
I loaded her stuff up for her, and the last thing I remember is her standing by her car looking at me with tears in her eyes. All I said was "I'm sorry" and went back inside. She finally drove away after about 10 minutes of sitting in her car.
I don't know what my problem was with commitment, but I wasn't good at it when it came to relationships.
I have always been extremely responsible when it came to work, and taking care of my home, and mother. I didn't get over my wandering ways concerning women until 40 or so, and I will admit that is pathetic.
I will pay the price for that, as I should.
I know a couple of folks think this is funny, and that's fine,.....have a blast laughing at my 'soap opera' per se.
My concern is about her, and all of the pain she has been through.
Heck, she even called me before she got married, and asked my thoughts on it. I think that was another signal for a last chance now that I think about it.
After her marriage came apart, and she was hit the first time,....she called me again. I told her to get the hell out of there. He apologized, and she stayed of course.
The son was born right before this guy went off the deep end, and she finally divorced him.
She has no money worries, as she has a good job, and her parents are quite well off. She is simply a person seeking love desperately, and she has been turned away every time.
To finish up,....I have no intention of trying to repeat history.
On the other hand, I AM going to go down and see her and her mother hopefully next weekend. They all live in Port St. Lucie south of me.
Her father is not in great shape either, but might be around for awhile so that will be another thing on her plate.
She will handle it fine, as her life is all about others at this point. She even cares for rescued animals until they can be adopted out.
Somehow I find typing out my feelings to be therapeutic in a way, much better than holding it all inside like I have done for most of my life. Guess that means I'm getting old and sappy.
End of the 'Days of Our Lives.'[:)]
Now as to sowing one's wild oats, some have to do it. And if you really love someone you will wait for them to get it out of their system. Looks like the girl really loved someone in this story.
I have a female friend who broke up with one of the guys from the neighborhood some 20 years ago. He hung himself on a tree with rope that was long enough that all he had to do to keep from dying was stand straight up. There was only a slight bend in his knees as his feet touched the ground.
This probably isn't the right thread for a sea story, and it might be considered hijacking, so if that's the case I apologize, but you reminded me of something that happened in Norfolk many years ago.
A young Engineman on an MSO (Ocean Mine Sweeper) decided life was just too hard and not worth living. He cut a length of line and tied it off to a stanchion on the 01 Level and tied the other end around his neck and jumped to the Main Deck.
He overestimated the distance from the 01 Level to the Main Deck. He wound up in the psycho ward with two broken legs and a sprained neck. His line was too long to kill him, but with two broken legs he couldn't stand up to take it off. He had to semi-hang there flopping around until a couple of Deck Seamen found him and cut him down.
I guess the moral to the story is it doesn't pay to be crazy and stupid at the same time.
There are a few I screwed up on when young and dumb. I think most people have a few of em they wish they could have back.
+ 10000000000000000
quote:Originally posted by Waco Waltz
I have a female friend who broke up with one of the guys from the neighborhood some 20 years ago. He hung himself on a tree with rope that was long enough that all he had to do to keep from dying was stand straight up. There was only a slight bend in his knees as his feet touched the ground.
This probably isn't the right thread for a sea story, and it might be considered hijacking, so if that's the case I apologize, but you reminded me of something that happened in Norfolk many years ago.
A young Engineman on an MSO (Ocean Mine Sweeper) decided life was just too hard and not worth living. He cut a length of line and tied it off to a stanchion on the 01 Level and tied the other end around his neck and jumped to the Main Deck.
He overestimated the distance from the 01 Level to the Main Deck. He wound up in the psycho ward with two broken legs and a sprained neck. His line was too long to kill him, but with two broken legs he couldn't stand up to take it off. He had to semi-hang there flopping around until a couple of Deck Seamen found him and cut him down.
I guess the moral to the story is it doesn't pay to be crazy and stupid at the same time.
No worries James,.....that was a good one.[:D]
You are always welcome to say whatever you wish on any thread of mine.
But writing one's thoughts helps to clarify what you're thinking.
And exposing those thoughts to others...
Helps keep one humble... and willing to see others with more clarity.
Keep doing what you're doing Marc...
I'm unsure of what you are looking for.
If you are unencumbered, move forward as you best see fit.
If you have obligations, discharge them first.
You've established a pretty good track record as being a thoughtful man on these forums. If you haven't been 'faking' it. Trust your instincts. They are good.
Just my two cents.
Marc.
I'm unsure of what you are looking for.
If you are unencumbered, move forward as you best see fit.
If you have obligations, discharge them first.
You've established a pretty good track record as being a thoughtful man on these forums. If you haven't been 'faking' it. Trust your instincts. They are good.
Just my two cents.
Not really looking for anything,.....just getting some stuff off my chest basically.
I was really shocked when she called the other day with the news about her mother.
When she started crying, it made me think of all the pain she has had in her life, and how many times I made her shed tears.
Dumped off by me twice,....failed marriage to an 'abuser', and now this. I think it's actually easier if someone is diagnosed with something bad early.
With treatment there is a small chance of recovery, but if nothing else the family has time to come to grips with their feelings and prepare to let go.
I was thinking how I would feel if one day I got a call from my mother telling me she had 4 to 6 weeks to live. Not an easy road for anyone involved.
Her mother always liked me, regardless of what I did.
Why,.....I have no clue, but she always kept a thought that her daughter and I would get back together someday.
I am single again after an 8 year relationship ending about this time last year. First one that wasn't largely my fault. We got along fine, but I just couldn't deal with her unruly, and disrespectful son, and her needy grown daughters.
Of course when it came down to a choice, a mother is always going to choose her children. I just couldn't handle it anymore, as every single day there was some kind of drama taking place,...like living a real soap opera.
We parted on good terms regardless.
Back to the one I was talking about.
I'm almost certain that we could get back together if I made the move. She dropped a hint about 6 months ago when we were talking one Saturday,....at least I took it as a hint.
She said something about liking it up here, and that she could get a job no problem. She knew that my previous situation had ended and why.
Anyway,....as I said before. I have no plans to start something up again, but I am going to go down and see her mother, and her before she gets too sick. I would go this weekend, but I just don't have the ability. Shooting for next weekend though, and I have already told her that I will be coming. She was very happy, and said even her father didn't mind.
If nothing else, I can apologize to her parents face to face while I still have the chance.
For whomever asked about what she looked like now,.....she is still very attractive, and in good shape. Has she aged since those pics I had up,......of course, but better than I have BTW.[:)]
Like many have said, most all of us have made mistakes, and done bad things. Most people move on and never see or speak to each other again.
I have PLENTY of those situations, but this one was different.
Since we were teenagers we have stayed in touch. I think the longest period of time without contact was about a year, and that was right after she got married, and things were good.
After writing several mini novels, I have gotten it all off my chest, and made my decisions as to what I am going to do.
It helps doing something like this on a forum, as you get other peoples experiences, and opinions that have no bias whatsoever like a close friend might have.