Granddaughter lost her first resident-nursing home

poppaleepoppalee Member Posts: 1,239 ✭✭✭✭✭
edited August 2012 in General Discussion
One of the ladies she has been taking care of passed away on her shift. Her first loss. She hadn't been looking good all evening, and Joan had told the nurse. Anyway, Joan had to help get her cleaned up after she died to look nice for the family.
Wow, I just can't imagine how hard that must be on a 18 year old kid. Not long ago, the old lady hugged Joan and told her she loved her. I feel bad for Joan.


  • TooBigTooBig Member Posts: 28,561 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Sorry to say she will always remember the lady being her first to go and give her a hug for us. Reality to soon for a young girl
  • andrewsw16andrewsw16 Member Posts: 11,311
    edited November -1
    On the other hand, your daughter is learning about real life. We are all going some day. We should all be so lucky as to have someone like your daughter near in our final hours. The old lady was lucky to have someone like her as a friend and to have her attend to her last needs. The old lady was a fortunate person and your daughter sounds like she has a big heart. [:)]
  • timinpatiminpa Member Posts: 2,250 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    thank her for the work she does, from me please
  • UNIVERSITY50UNIVERSITY50 Member Posts: 1,705 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    My Wife work at Hospice House and it never gets any easier. The average stay at Hospice House is 4 days, but you still get tied up with the person and their family. She said the worse is when No family comes[:(], the staff all try to spend as much time with them as possible!
  • BarzilliaBarzillia Member Posts: 21,775 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Average length of stay in long term care is about 36 months.

    Lesson number one taught to me when in close contact with the dead/dying is that the patient is the one on the carrier.
    "Anger has two children -.hope, and courage." Augustine, Bishop of Hippo

    "Und es wird nicht hineingehen irgend ein Gemeines und das da Greuel tut und Luge,
    sondern die geschrieben sind in dem Lebensbuch des Lammes."
  • nunnnunn Forums Admins, Member, Moderator Posts: 34,976 ******
    edited November -1
    My mother-in-law lives in a nursing home, and has for nearly four years. My grandmother lived in a nursing home the last three years of her life. My first ex-wife worked in a nursing home.

    That doesn't make me an expert, but I can tell you this. It takes a VERY special person to work in a nursing home. If you are in it for a paycheck, you won't stay long. I believe there is a special section in Heaven for nursing home caregivers.

    Yes, it is hard to lose a person in your care. It is a comfort to know that you did your best for that person, right up to the end. My ex took it hard when a resident under her care died. If you are the right kind of caregiver, you can't help but become attached and feel the loss when a resident dies.

    We are at the nursing home all the time, and we have gotten to know the residents. We feel a loss when one of them passes on, and we have been to a lot of funerals.
  • nunnnunn Forums Admins, Member, Moderator Posts: 34,976 ******
    edited November -1
    On a slightly different topic:

    A few years ago, I was called to a death scene. The deceased was an elderly woman, with a Living Will and a DNR order. The young nursing aide from the visiting nurse service had just arrived, and had just begun to wash the woman when she died. It was just her time.

    It was the aide's first patient on the first day of her first job. She was shaken by the experience. I hope it didn't cause her to quit.
  • Mr. PerfectMr. Perfect Member Posts: 59,203 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Wife did that a few times when she worked at Good Sams years ago. Not easy.
    Some will die in hot pursuit
    And fiery auto crashes
    Some will die in hot pursuit
    While sifting through my ashes
    Some will fall in love with life
    And drink it from a fountain
    That is pouring like an avalanche
    Coming down the mountain
  • cbxjeffcbxjeff Member Posts: 14,549 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    It's part of the job pop. Some can take it and some can't. I couldn't. My wife has been a geriatic nurse for 40 years and it is simply her calling. She enjoys interaction w/ many residents, some are a pain, and eventually you lose them. It takes a special person to work in this field. Tell Joan to take comfort in making the last of their life as happy & comfortable as possibe.
    It's too late for me, save yourself.
  • Locust ForkLocust Fork Member, Moderator Posts: 29,738 ******
    edited November -1
    She must be really wonderful to the residents for them to react to her like they do. I am sorry for her loss and I'm proud of you for having such a wonderful little girl in your family.
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  • lkanneslkannes Member Posts: 1,996 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Taking care of the elderly and infirm is definately God's work. I admire those that do it. It can't be easy. Your daughter should take comfort in the fact that she made her patients final days better by being there for her.
  • bigoutsidebigoutside Member Posts: 19,443
    edited November -1
    I think you should be very proud of Joan.

    I don't know her. But I think she's a fine young lady.
    And she is helping a family through one of the most difficult parts of life.

    A few words from her to the family can make all the difference at this point. Please ask her to choose them carefully.

    Joan sounds like a rock star.
  • MercuryMercury Member Posts: 7,648 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Tough job. My mom, her sister, her other sister, and her mom ALL worked in a nursing home. Tough job for all of them.

    Saddest thing is: My grandma ended up in there (the place she had worked for 20+ years!) after having a stroke! Terrible....but no one could take care of her. Luckily, she only lived a couple of months in there.

  • tommyjoetommyjoe Member Posts: 1,352 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    "Well done my good and faithful servant"
  • montanajoemontanajoe Member, Moderator Posts: 50,595 ******
    edited November -1
    God Bless. [:)][:)][:)]
  • River RatRiver Rat Member Posts: 9,022
    edited November -1
    My niece get certified as a CNA at age 17, one of the youngest ever. She went right to work in a hospital geriatrics ward, and has pretty much specialized in nursing homes ever since (about five years now). The old folks really took to her, and after a while we began to suspect some were willing themselves to stay alive so they could die on her shift! After her first 4 deaths I began to (lovingly) refer to her as the "Angel of Death." She did not like that.

    It was hard for her, at first. But she is a very compassionate young woman. Yes, it takes a very special type. God bless 'em all.
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