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I made it without killing a kid
n/a
Member Posts: 168,427 ✭
My daughter had her so called "boy friend" over this afternoon.[:(!][:(!][:(!][:(!]
Actually he seems to be a pretty decent kid but I definatly laid down some ground rules!
He knows that no funny buisness will be tolerated (or else he will not like the consequences!)![}:)][}:)][}:)][}:)][}:)]
As long as we understand each other all will be fine.[;)][:D]
Actually he seems to be a pretty decent kid but I definatly laid down some ground rules!
He knows that no funny buisness will be tolerated (or else he will not like the consequences!)![}:)][}:)][}:)][}:)][}:)]
As long as we understand each other all will be fine.[;)][:D]
Comments
There will be no "Boy Friends" in my daughter's life for quite some time! She has some male friends...but they will stay that way for the time being. I already had to explain to one 18 y/o kid about how folks disappear in these mountains all the time...word evidently got around pretty quick.
did ya have this talk to him while sitting there cleaning one of your 1911's[:D]----
This never worked out for my dad. Half the time my dates would just say, "Wow! That's real nice Mr. L." Then run out to the car, and being out their own to show to Dad.[:)]
Hasn't happened to me yet. I have a smigent of pity for the poor boy that has to deal with Mike answering the door.[:0][:D]
She would probably have to run away, or become a nun![:D]
I got a 12 going on 20........ and 2 blond blue eyed 7 year olds............. And you are all blameing Obama on the Ammo shortage, I'm just planning ahead [;)][;)][;)][;)][:D][:D]
yeah...my 11 y/o is another one that looks far older than she is...
That was about 5 years ago, they are still together.....[:D]
Don
My daughter had her so called "boy friend" over this afternoon.[:(!][:(!][:(!][:(!]
Actually he seems to be a pretty decent kid but I definatly laid down some ground rules!
He knows that no funny buisness will be tolerated (or else he will not like the consequences!)![}:)][}:)][}:)][}:)][}:)]
As long as we understand each other all will be fine.[;)][:D]
Would you, have listened, to you, when you were his age???????
I want them to fear HER.
Way things are shaping up, there's a pretty good chance of that.
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, history, lineage, recent FBI background check, psychiatric evaluation, and updated medical report from your doctor.
1. NAME _______________________________
DATE OF BIRTH ________________
2. HEIGHT ______________
WEIGHT __________
I.Q _______
G.P.A.____________
3. SOCIAL SECURITY # _____________
DRIVERS LICENSE # __________________
4. BOY SCOUT RANK______________________________________
5. HOME ADDRESS _____________________________________
CITY/STATE ___________
ZIP __________
6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent? _____
If No, EXPLAIN ________________________________________
7. Number of years your parents have been married _____
8. Do you own a van? _____ A truck with oversized tires? _____ A waterbed? _____
Do you have an earring, nose ring, belly button ring, or a tattoo? _____
(If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises)
9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?
10. In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
11. In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
12. Church you attend ___________________________
How often do you attend? ________________________
13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and priest/rabbi/minister?____________________________
14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers are confidential (That means I won't tell anyone-ever-I promise.)
a) If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is____
b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my____
c) A woman's place is in the____
d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is____
e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is____
(NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue. Leave premises keeping your head low. Running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)
15. What do you want to be IF you grow up?___________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.
________________________________________
Signature (That means sign your name)
Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be notified in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write. If you do attempt any communication before your application is approved, automatic disqualification will result.
If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases (You might want to watch your back).
Do you still want to date my daughter?
_____ Yes, please accept my application
_____ I um, no, I uh, think I have the wrong house...
Re: Application to Date my Daughter (and Rules!) cyncyn_22: RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER
As a dad, I have some basic rules, which I have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room.
Rule 1: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule 2: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule 3: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to assure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric staple gun and fasten your trousers securely in place around your waist.
Rule 4: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I WILL kill you.
Rule 5: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
Rule 6: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make YOU cry.
Rule 7: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places lacking parents, policemen, or nuns. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her chin. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay.
Rule 8: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless commander of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule 9: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car-there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
Hey guys-YOU have NO control. You raise them the best you can and that's it, beleive me. Hope for the best, expect the worst and be VERY happy if it's something in between.
Parenting isn't about control.
It's about respect.
So, yeah, I agree.
...isn't she 11.?.?
There will be no "Boy Friends" in my daughter's life for quite some time! She has some male friends...but they will stay that way for the time being. I already had to explain to one 18 y/o kid about how folks disappear in these mountains all the time...word evidently got around pretty quick.
How old is yours. I though she was around 16 but i could be confuseing you with someone else. anyway you might think you can keep them out of her life but you will be surprised to find out later in life you were wrong.
quote:Originally posted by ECC
...isn't she 11.?.?
There will be no "Boy Friends" in my daughter's life for quite some time! She has some male friends...but they will stay that way for the time being. I already had to explain to one 18 y/o kid about how folks disappear in these mountains all the time...word evidently got around pretty quick.
How old is yours. I though she was around 16 but i could be confuseing you with someone else. anyway you might think you can keep them out of her life but you will be surprised to find out later in life you were wrong.
No...she's 11, but going on 16.
Perhaps...but that remains to be seen. We keep a tight leash...and this is a small community...and folks know me.
At this stage in her life, it's kind of a goofy friendship thing with boys. That's cool with me...and we can deal with that. She will not date until I tell her she can date. Until she's on her own, she will abide by my rules...and the young men WILL answer to me.
A good friend of mine's son has a platonic thing going on with her right now...He's offered to explain to his boy that I'm not too happy with the current situation...but it's all good at this point.
You may be right...but I prefer to believe you are not.[:)]
My wife keeps telling me that i couldnt handle a girl and my father in law tells me to thank god that i have two boys. ( he had 4 girls ). I think i would be a fair father to a girl but the wife thinks i would be way to controling protective.
There...I fixed it for you. Remember...she's your girl until you hand her over to another man to cherish and take care of her.
Have another one...you might get lucky.[:)]
...isn't she 11.?.?
There will be no "Boy Friends" in my daughter's life for quite some time! She has some male friends...but they will stay that way for the time being. I already had to explain to one 18 y/o kid about how folks disappear in these mountains all the time...word evidently got around pretty quick.
That is why I said "So Called".[;)]
She calls him her boy friend but in reality they are just friends from school. Untill yesterday school was the only place they had seen each other and she asked if he could come over to the house for awhile so I said ok. At Least here I can keep an eye on things.
I will not allow her to go to his place without knowing his parents and what kind of people they are (and even then it would be iffy for me to allow her there).
All the 2 of them did was play video games and go to a nieghbors (that I know I can trust) house for a bit.
Hey guys-YOU have NO control. You raise them the best you can and that's it, beleive me. Hope for the best, expect the worst and be VERY happy if it's something in between.
I agree.
I figure it this way. At least she is haveing him over here and I can keep a close eye out as to what goes on. If she was trying to sneak around to see him then things might go in a bad direction and such. But here in my house there will definatly be nothing but good behaveour.
My wife keeps telling me that i couldnt handle a girl and my father in law tells me to thank god that i have two boys. ( he had 4 girls ). I think i would be a fair father to a girl but the wife thinks i would be way to controling.
Girls are tuff for a father (I am learning this real quick).
And they are even tuffer for a single father like myself.
Things go on with girls that a father just cannot understand (female things).[V][xx(][V][xx(][V][xx(]
I am lucky to have a sister-in-law and a good nieghbor who helps me with this stuff or else I would be totally lost.
And besides a daddy should never have to go buy pads or bra's! (and yes I am faced with this stuff allready and she is only going to be 12 in July)[xx(][xx(][xx(][xx(]
did ANYTHING ever stop you and your girlfriends?
and, yes, i have a daughter who is now 23, married, and who gave us our first grandson.
bringin' 'em up right from day one is the only hope.
DING DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNAH!!!!
Father of 4, grandfather of 7, and later this year, GREAT grandfather of 1.
When they leave your sight (and at some point, they will) what counts is the values you have instilled in your kid.
A VERY important item, deal we have had will ALL of our kids- boys and girls- and yes, we have used it a time or two-
"There will be times when you find yourself in a situation that makes you uncomfortable. The way the driver is driving- drinking or drugs- somebody groping you. Remember YAHOO- You Always Have Other Options. The first option is that you can call me, I will come get you, and if you don't want to discuss why you called me, you don't have to. Period"
"I have no problems going BACK to prison."
Good Luck!
i have 3 girls
25
22
13
so far so good but it all can change in just one short night[:(]