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Rules for Montana
HobbyGuy
Member Posts: 1,655 ✭✭✭✭✭
I always get a kick out of this. Of course, it's usually one of my out of state friends that sends it to me. [:D]
RULES FOR MONTANA:
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
3. They are cattle & fishing lakes. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it.
4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 combines that are driven only 3 times a year.
5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of ducks are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
7. Yeah, we eat walleye & pike and love it. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.
10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the pound of ham & turkey.
11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: Onion, Pepper, and Garlic!
12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
13. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a heck of a lot more fun to watch.
14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.
15. Colleges? How about Montana State Universities in Billings, Bozeman and Great Falls, or the University of Montana Missoula? They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.
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RULES FOR MONTANA:
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
3. They are cattle & fishing lakes. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it.
4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 combines that are driven only 3 times a year.
5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of ducks are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
7. Yeah, we eat walleye & pike and love it. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.
10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the pound of ham & turkey.
11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: Onion, Pepper, and Garlic!
12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
13. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a heck of a lot more fun to watch.
14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.
15. Colleges? How about Montana State Universities in Billings, Bozeman and Great Falls, or the University of Montana Missoula? They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.
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Comments
lol, nice list. only problem is # 15. i have family from missoula and that place has turned into liberal central for the young folks
Sure seems like a nice place to us. [^] We haven't seen or experienced any problems so far. Don't expect to either. People are too conscientious about offending other folks here, so that shouldn't ever be a negative factor. Although the town has grown over the years, it's still the same great place I visited 35 years ago (and only dreamed of living here until 2005 when it became a reality). Western Montana is truly sportsmans' heaven. [;)]
KY follows this rule as well