Remember,Ernest P Worrell ??

montanajoe

I thought he was pretty funny. Really enjoyed the movies.

retroxler58

Didn't that fella pass on to the other side... ?

"How 'bout a bumper sandwich, Boogerlips?" [:D]

retroxler58

"I never knew when to quit. Just ask my fourth grade teacher."

retroxler58

"Nuh uh, ain't no trees in Botswana, nuh uh, I know, I AM a Botswanian lumberjack, and I ain't never had a job..."

retroxler58

"You'd better stay away. I know jujitsu, kung fu, karate, tai chi, and I saw "Hulkamania" three times. Once in slow-mo. "

searcher5

Funny as hell, but a hard liver. Left us several years ago. Thinks for the laughs, Jim!

Dan

retroxler58

[talking to Rimshot]

"We have nothing to fear but fear itself, plus the known fact that Old Lady Hackmore will turn us into a couple of drooling, red eyed zombies if she catches us here."

[knocks on the door]

"Well, nobody home, I guess they're out robbing graves or biting the heads off chickens or whatever's in Voodoo Vogue."

retroxler58

"It looked like a great big Mr. Potato Head only it was the size of a watermelon!"

retroxler58

"We got him, Rimshot, we got ol' Honkerhead himself."

retroxler58

"I am one with the Yuletide, know what I mean?"

retroxler58

"What we have here is a failure to accumulate."

retroxler58

"Ahh, smell those Christmas trees. You can keep your 'Channel' Number 5, just give me a whiff of the old lonesome pine. That symbol of brotherly love, that centerpiece that all mankind gathers around to share the cranberry sauce shaped like a can."

LaidbackDan

Hey Vern!

retroxler58

"I came! I saw! I got blowed up! "

retroxler58

corny...

"Did you hear the one about the three legged dog that walked into a bar and said, "I'm lookin' for the guy that shot my paw."
"

retroxler58

"Eat, Greaseball!"
"I didn't order grease ball. "

retroxler58

"We're sequestered. And on top of that we can't even leave! This is just great. "

Ditch-Runner

thanks for the trip down memory lane, he was a good comedian [:D]

retroxler58

"Like in real, really, really, really, really real prison? The hoose-gow, the slammer, the joint, Alcatraz, San Quentin, Sing Sing, Oh no. I'm in... I'm in... jail!"

retroxler58

"Death row? You mean like the chair, the hot seat, dead meat, deep 6, it's over pal, you're outta here bub, the groundhog's are bringing you your mail, you're picking turnips with a step ladder, the no tomorrow row? That kind of row? Oh no. The row? "

retroxler58

"I've been vandalized by Elvis. "

retroxler58

"Vern? Vern? Looks like you need some mouth to mouth resignation."

retroxler58

"Ya know, Vern, Cream O'Weber Highland sour cream is good on anything from potatoes to tacos, that it was inspired me to write this poem. I infectionatly call it "Sour Cream" by Ernest P. Worrell. Actually, it's by Cream O'Weber Highland, I just wrote the words. "Roses are red, violets are blue, sour cream is white, and comes in a tub." "

retroxler58

"Hey Vern, ya diggin' a hole? Why? Did you call the gas company first? Why not? Vern, if you don't call before you dig, you could hit a gas line and ruin a perfectly good afternoon, knowhutImean? No heat. No hot water. Ya can't cook and you're sure not gonna make any new friends down at the gas company, knowhutImean? "

retroxler58

"Gosh, Vern, ya tryin' to kill us all? Walkin' around all the time with that weed hangin' out of your mouth. Don't you know how deadly that thing is? You're just askin' for a case of the Big C: Cancer city, Chemo Therapy Hotel. I care 'bout you, Vern, that's why I'm warning you, you better give up them cigarettes, buddy, or the groundhogs will ber bringin' you your mail, knowhutimean? "

retroxler58

"Vern, what's these dead minnows doin' on my pizza pie?"

retroxler58

"I know what, Vern, let's me and you play Mayberry. I'll be Andy and you be Dopey."

retroxler58

"Hey Vern it says here you're gettin' 50 suppositories a day. Where you puttin' them things anyway? "

retroxler58

"Country Fresh Lite keeps ya livin' right, knowhutimean? "

retroxler58

"Boy, Vern, crime fightin' is a thankless job, but somebody's gotta do it. Knowhutimean? "

retroxler58

"Did you see her fix these hamburgers? She cooked'em just the way I like'em. She cooked them one at a time, all the fixings, none of them conveyer belts, no automatic burger machines, none of that factory stuff, it's just a real hamburger made by a real human being. What'll they think of next? "

1911a1-fan

jim varney played a good jed clampett

retroxler58

[Figuring out a mathematical equation, typing on his head like a calculator]
"Vern drives 18 miles to Tyson's Toyota at 20? a mile, that's government standard. Divided by the excellerated rotation of the earth, minus the frustration factor equals... Vern, you're gonna save $53,000 on a $9,000 car. I don't know how them boys stay in business! "

retroxler58

"Don't touch that dial, Vern. Don't touch it. Please, Vern. I'm trapped in this TV forever."

retroxler58

"Have you ever held a leadership position?"

"I had a ant farm once."

retroxler58

"No. I-I can't eat on an empty stomach."

retroxler58

"You see these hands? Huh? Huh? You see them? If I put them in my pockets I will be arrested for concealing lethal weapons. "

1911a1-fan

"lay off the brownies" [:D]

retroxler58

I got tuckered out...

Brownies are all gone BTW...

retroxler58

"Hee Hee Hee ... Knowhutimean Vern?"

35 Whelen

Boy this is great! This is just like that John Wayne movie when he and Sundance were in Bulgaria!

Bolivia. They were in Bolivia. Wait a minute, they were killed in Bolivia.

Well maybe they should've stayed in Bulgaria.