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Confession
kimi
Member Posts: 44,723 ✭✭✭
A guy enters a Roman Catholic Church confessional booth in D.C.
He tells the Priest, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I
beat the hell out of an Obama supporter"
The Priest responds, "My son, I'm here to forgive your sins, not to
discuss your community service."
He tells the Priest, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I
beat the hell out of an Obama supporter"
The Priest responds, "My son, I'm here to forgive your sins, not to
discuss your community service."
What's next?
Comments
The priest says, "Take seven lemons, squeeze them into a glass and drink the juice without pausing."
"Will that cleanse me of my sins, Father?"
"No," replies the priest. "But it'll wipe that silly grin off your face."
Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.
The priest asks, Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?
Yes, Father, it is."
And who was the girl you were with?"
I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation"
Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later
so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti
"I cannot say."
Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
Was it Cathy Piriano?"
My lips are sealed."
Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?"
Please, Father, I cannot tell you.
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, Joey agano
and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone.
You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave
yourself.
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and
whispers, "What'd you get?"
"4 months vacation and five good leads."
The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand." The new priest tries this. The old priest suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see,' 'yes,' 'go on,' 'I understand,' and 'how did you feel about that?'" The new priest says those things, trying them out.
The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying 'No s**t! What happened next?'"
It's not what you know that gets you in trouble, it's what you know that just ain't so!
Resident Pyrrhonist
The priest asked, "What did you do, my son?"
"I lusted," Alburt replied.
"Tell me about it," the priest said.
Alburt then related his story. "Father, I am a delivery man for UPS. Yesterday I was making a delivery in the affluent section of the city. When I rang the bell, the door opened and there stood the most beautiful woman I have ever seen!! She had long blonde hair and eyes like emeralds. She was dressed in a sheer dressing gown that showed her perfect figure. And then she asked seductively if I would like to come in."
"And, what did you do, my son?" asked the priest.
"Father, I did not go in her house .....but I lusted. Oh, how I lusted!!" replied Alburt.
"Your sin has been forgiven," replied the priest. "You will get your reward in heaven, my son."
"A reward, Father? Gosh!! ....What do you think my reward might be?" Alburt asked excitedly.
The priest replied, ".....Well, I think a bale of hay would be most appropriate ...you dumb *! [}:)][}:)][:o)]
A guy enters a Roman Catholic Church confessional booth in D.C.
He tells the Priest, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I
beat the hell out of an Obama supporter"
The Priest responds, "My son, I'm here to forgive your sins, not to
discuss your community service."
[:D][:D]
I thought you were confessing your sins Kimi.[}:)]
How much time do you have old friend?! [:D]
until 3.
Good!
A guy enters a Roman Catholic Church confessional booth in D.C.
He tells the Priest, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I
beat the hell out of an Obama supporter"
The Priest responds, "My son, I'm here to forgive your sins, not to
discuss your community service."
[:D][:D]