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The REAL Old West

tazzertazzer Member Posts: 16,837
edited June 2008 in General Discussion
A Cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, recognized an elderly manstanding at the bar who, in his day, had the reputation of being the fastestgun in the West. The young cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, boughthim a drink and told him the story of his great ambition. 'Do you think youcould give me some tips?' he asked. The old man looked him up and down andsaid, 'Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holstera little lower down on your leg.' 'Will that make me a better gunfighter?'asked the young man. 'Sure will,' replied the old-timer. The young man did ashe was told, stood up, whipped out his 44 and shot the bow tie off the pianoplayer. 'That's terrific!' said the hot shot. 'Got any more tips for me?''Yep,' said the old man. 'Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammerhits it. That'll give you a smoother draw' 'Will that make me a bettergunfighter?' asked the younger man. 'You bet it w ill,' said the old-timer. Theyoung man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur,and then shot a cufflink off the piano player 'Wow!' exclaimed the cowboy 'I'mlearnin' somethin' here. Got any more tips?' The old man pointed to a largecan in a corner of the saloon. 'See that axle grease over there? Coat your gunwith it.' The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease onthe barrel of his gun. 'No,' said the old-timer, 'I mean smear it all over thegun, handle and all.' ' Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked theyoung man. 'No,' said the old-timer, 'but when Wyatt Earp gets done playingthe piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your *, and it won't hurt as much.'
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