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How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

GuvamintCheeseGuvamintCheese Member Posts: 38,932
edited May 2009 in General Discussion
...when you swerve to miss a tree and realize its the air freshener.
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Comments

  • IdahoboundIdahobound Member Posts: 20,587 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I have only done that once
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  • 11b6r11b6r Member Posts: 16,584 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Sitting waiting for the stop sign to change.
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  • Spider7115Spider7115 Member Posts: 29,702 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    When you start fantasizing about a threesome with Hillary Clinton and Janet Napolitano. [xx(]
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  • savage170savage170 Member Posts: 37,504 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by Spider7115
    When you start fantasizing about a threesome with Hillary Clinton and Janet Napolitano. [xx(]



    I think you would be in a coma long before that
    [img][/img]redneck_drunk_driver.jpg
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  • LOKO383LOKO383 Member Posts: 7,503 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I'm off the pine tree freshners..thankfully..[}:)]..Loko
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  • D1D1 Member Posts: 11,412
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by LOKO383
    I'm off the pine tree freshners..thankfully..[}:)]..Loko


    Me, too. OZIUM works better.
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  • RogueStatesmanRogueStatesman Member Posts: 5,760
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by Spider7115
    When you start fantasizing about a threesome with Hillary Clinton and Janet Napolitano. [xx(]


    Spider ... I'll NEVER be drinking with YOU!!
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  • jimdeerejimdeere Member, Moderator Posts: 26,020 ******
    edited November -1
    There was that night when I thought I was dancing 'til someone stepped on my hand.
    My buddy woke up on the floor, looked down at me, and said "Jim, it's time to go home."
    When I got home my wife was sitting in the kitchen. "Drunk again" she said, with disgust.
    "You, too?" I replied.
    Next night, I headed out again. Wife said, "Don't you come home drunk tonight!"
    Three days later, I sobered up and came home.
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  • trc313trc313 Member Posts: 3,475
    edited November -1
    I woke up one time tangled up with the cord on a vacuum cleaner[V]
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  • SpartacusSpartacus Member Posts: 14,415
    edited November -1
    quote:I woke up one time tangled up with the cord on a vacuum cleaner

    [:0][:0]what exactly were you doing with the vacuum cleaner??!!
    never mind, I don't want to know.
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  • minitruck83minitruck83 Member Posts: 5,369
    edited November -1
    When someone puts a ditch in your truck.


    http://tinyurl.com/orb8tl


    [:D]


    Allen
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  • fordsixfordsix Member Posts: 8,554 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    i used a paper sack of blasting caps as a pillow[V] that was the result of mason jar likker[;)]
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  • penetraitorpenetraitor Member Posts: 3,870
    edited November -1
    I know I'm to drunk to drive, or for that matter I could be to drunk to sleep if I cant even dry hump my own pillow.
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  • wartigerwartiger Member Posts: 3,861
    edited November -1
    Woke up one morning in the front yard using a trash bag for a blanket and a bra on my head. Still don't know where that came from!
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  • frog21frog21 Member Posts: 1,745 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    If I could remember,I would have known.[:D]
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  • JnRockwallJnRockwall Member Posts: 16,350 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by Spider7115
    When you start fantasizing about a threesome with Hillary Clinton and Janet Napolitano. [xx(]


    You mean Janet Reno?

    If you catch yourself fantasizing about Janet Reno, you are past due for Rehab!
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  • bayl778bayl778 Member Posts: 349 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    The Ocifer will tell you.
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  • spanielsellsspanielsells Member Posts: 12,498
    edited November -1
    When you roll down the window and tell the officer you'll have a rum and coke.
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  • dakotashooter2dakotashooter2 Member Posts: 6,186
    edited November -1
    quote:...when you swerve to miss a tree and realize its the air freshener.
    Or pull over to pick up that naked chick standing along the road..... and realize it's your air freshener.
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  • ATHOMSONATHOMSON Member Posts: 3,399 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:I have a mansion, forget the price
    Ain't never been there, they tell me it's nice
    I live in hotels, tear out the walls
    I have accountants pay for it all

    They say I'm crazy but I have a good time
    I'm just looking for clues at the scene of the crime
    Life's been good to me so far

    My Maserati does one-eighty-five
    I lost my license, now I don't drive
    I have a limo, ride in the back
    I lock the doors in case I'm attacked

    I make hit records, my fans they can't wait
    They write me letters, tell me I'm great
    So I got me an office, gold records on the wall
    Just leave a message, maybe I'll call

    Lucky I'm sane after all I've been through
    (Everybody say #65533;I'm cool#65533;......#65533;He's cool#65533;)
    I can't complain but sometimes I still do
    Life's been good to me so far

    I go to parties, sometimes until four
    It's hard to leave when you can't find the door
    It's tough to handle this fortune and fame
    Everybody's so different, I haven't changed

    They say I'm lazy but it takes all my time
    (Everybody say #65533;Oh, yeah#65533;..... #65533;Oh, yeah#65533;)
    I keep on goin#65533; guess I'll never know why
    Life's been good to me so far


    AT
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  • Bubba Jr.Bubba Jr. Member Posts: 8,300 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    For me it was waking up in the middle of a curve when my tires hit the gravel in the wrong lane. I sobered up real quick when I spotted the semi coming straight at me.[:0][:0][:0]

    Last time I ever drove drunk.
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  • wvduecewvduece Member Posts: 272 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    when i have to shut one eye to get the 2 yellow lines back together with both eyes open i see 8 lines
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