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Southern Charm
matwor
Member Posts: 20,594
The wedding day was fast approaching. Everything was ready, and nothing could dampen Amanda's excitement, not even her parents' nasty divorce.
Her mother, Sheila, had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride EVER!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn her father's new young wife, Barb, had purchased the exact same dress!
She asked Barb to exchange the dress, but Barb refused. "Absolutely not! I'm wearing this dress. I look like a million bucks in it!"
Amanda told her mother, who graciously replied, "Never mind,
Sweetheart, I'll get another dress. After all, it's YOUR special
day."
Two weeks later Amanda and her mother went shopping and found another awesome dress. When they stopped for lunch, Amanda asked her mother, "What are you going to do with the first dress? Maybe you should return it. You really don't have any place to wear it."
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS RESPONSE....
Sheila grinned and replied, "Of course, I do, Dear! I'm wearing
it to the rehearsal dinner!"
SIG pistol armorer/FFL Dealer/Full time Peace Officer, Moderator of General Discussion Board on Gunbroker. Visit www.gunbroker.com the best gun auction site on the Net! Email gpd035@sbcglobal.net
Her mother, Sheila, had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride EVER!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn her father's new young wife, Barb, had purchased the exact same dress!
She asked Barb to exchange the dress, but Barb refused. "Absolutely not! I'm wearing this dress. I look like a million bucks in it!"
Amanda told her mother, who graciously replied, "Never mind,
Sweetheart, I'll get another dress. After all, it's YOUR special
day."
Two weeks later Amanda and her mother went shopping and found another awesome dress. When they stopped for lunch, Amanda asked her mother, "What are you going to do with the first dress? Maybe you should return it. You really don't have any place to wear it."
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS RESPONSE....
Sheila grinned and replied, "Of course, I do, Dear! I'm wearing
it to the rehearsal dinner!"
SIG pistol armorer/FFL Dealer/Full time Peace Officer, Moderator of General Discussion Board on Gunbroker. Visit www.gunbroker.com the best gun auction site on the Net! Email gpd035@sbcglobal.net
Comments
Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport.
The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man.
The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South. When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me."
The lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz..
Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet.
Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"
"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady.
"Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh, my God! What on earth for?"
The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead of saying "Who gives a poop?" I learned to say, "Well, isn't that precious"....
Yep, that sounds about right!!!!!
If you can't feel the music; it's only pink noise!
Exploring the campus, she stopped a Senior, and asked, "Excuse me, but can y'all tell me where the library is at?"
Looking down her nose at this upstart, through a clenched jaw the Senior replied "One HOPES that you will become sufficently educated that you may cease to end a sentence with a preposition."
The Southern girl looked at her, smiled, and said, "Oh- well.... where is the library at, BlTCH?" [:p]
A young Southern belle had gone off to a woman's college in a VERY Northern State. Her first day on campus, she was thrilled with her new surroundings.
Exploring the campus, she stopped a Senior, and asked, "Excuse me, but can y'all tell me where the library is at?"
Looking down her nose at this upstart, through a clenched jaw the Senior replied "One HOPES that you will become sufficently educated that you may cease to end a sentence with a preposition."
The Southern girl looked at her, smiled, and said, "Oh- well.... where is the library at, BlTCH?" [:p]
[:D]