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Why won't men use instruction manuals?
Locust Fork
Member Posts: 31,693 ✭✭✭✭
The only thing I bought with the Black Friday sales was a high chair that arrived today by UPS. I asked my son to put it together.
It was amazing to watch him do EVERYTHING he could but look at the little book that came with it. He snapped things together, had to take things back off, he looked at the picture on the box to get an idea of what his "end goal" was.
When it was finally done he was so proud of himself.....just because he proved he did NOT need to look at the manual to do it (and I was harassing him a bit about it.)
I was in the kitchen cooking. He would get stuck and I would say out loud "if ONLY there were some sort of book with instructions you could look at."
It was amazing to watch him do EVERYTHING he could but look at the little book that came with it. He snapped things together, had to take things back off, he looked at the picture on the box to get an idea of what his "end goal" was.
When it was finally done he was so proud of himself.....just because he proved he did NOT need to look at the manual to do it (and I was harassing him a bit about it.)
I was in the kitchen cooking. He would get stuck and I would say out loud "if ONLY there were some sort of book with instructions you could look at."
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Comments
besides I have looked at some and wondered who did the drawings diagrams and word translations ,,
its easier to put together the item than decode the instructions most of the time honestly [:D]
It is a sign of a smarter person, imo. Of course, on SOME things you should read instruction manuals!
Merc
Then they are translated into English by Chinese second graders.
I do remember the manual that came with my first Honda motorcycle:
"Please to address 13mm nut with spanner in anti-clockwise direction." That was one of the easy ones.
I get more confused after reading the manual than if I just go by the pictures and apply common sense!
Most of the time we can have it put together by then. [8D]
Because it takes 15 minutes to find the section of the manual that's written in english.
Most of the time we can have it put together by then. [8D]
I don't know how many times I have been trying to follow the assembly instructions by looking at the pictures (because that is the way most assembly instructions are written now).
Of course, the pictures aren't the best . . . so I read the written words. Naturally, the words are not written in English. Sometimes, they don't even use real letters . . . just a bunch of squiggly lines.
If they can print a kabillion copies of the phone book in English, why can't they print assembly instructions in English?
Also I consider it a personal challenge to assemble something and have some parts left over (and I don't mean those "extra" parts they put in the box anyway) and it still works.
READ THIS FIRST
Congratulations! You have purchased an extremely find device that would
give you thousands of years of trouble-free service, except that you
will undoubtly will destroy it via some typical bonehead consumer
maneuver. Which is why we ask you to PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKE READ THIS
OWNER'S MANUAL CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU UNPACK THE DEVICE. YOU ALREADY
UNPACKED IT, DIDN'T YOU? YOU UNPACKED IT AND PLUGGED IT IN AND TURNED
IT ON AND FIDDLED WITH THE KNOBS, AND NOW YOUR CHILD, THE SAME CHILD
WHO ONCE SHOVED A POLISH SAUSAGE INTO YOUR VIDEOCASSETTE RECORDER AND
SET IT ON "FAST FORWARD", THIS CHILD ALSO IS FIDDLING WITH THE KNOBS,
RIGHT? WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST BREAK THESE DEVICES RIGHT AT THE FACTORY
BEFORE WE SHIP THEM OUT, YOU KNOW THAT?
We're sorry. We just get a little crazy sometimes because we're always
getting back "defective" merchandise where it turns out that the
consumer inadvertently bathed the device in acid for siz days. So, in
writing these instructions, we naturally tend to assume that your skull
is filled with dead insects, but we mean nothing by it. OK? Now let's
talk about:
1. UNPACKING THE DEVICE. The device is encased in foam to protect it
from the Shipping People, who like nothing more than to jab spears
into outgoing boxes. PLEASE INSPECT THE CONTENTS CAREFULLY FOR GASHES
OR IDA MAE BARKER'S ENGAGEMENT RING, WHICH SHHE LOST LAST WEEK, AND
SHE THINKS MAYBE IT WAS WHILE SHE WAS PACKING DEVICES. Ida Mae really
wants that ring back, because it is her only proof of engagement, and
her fiancee, Stuart, it now seriously considering backing out on the
whole thing inasmuch as he had consumed most of a bottle of Jim Beam
in Quality Control when he decided to pop the question. It is not
without irony that Ida Mae's last name is "Barker", if you get our
drift.
WARNING: DO NOT EVER AS LONG AS YOU LIVE THROW AWAY THE BOX OR ANY
OF THE PIECES OF STYROFOAM, EVEN THE LITTLE ONES SHAPED LIKE PEANUTS.
If you attempt to return the device to the store, and you are missing
one single peanut, the store personnel will laugh in the chilling
manner exhibited by Joseph Stalin just after he enslaved Eastern
Europe.
Besides the device, the box should contain:
* Eight little rectangular snippets of paper that say "WARNING"
* A little plastic packet containing four 5/17 inch pilfer grommets
and two club-ended 6/93 inch boxcar prawns.
YOU WILL NEED TO SUPPLY: a matrix wrench and 60,000 feet of tram cable.
IF ANYTHING IS DAMAGED OR MISSING: You IMMEDIATELY should turn to your
spouse and say "Margaret, you know why this country can't make a car
that can get all the way through the drive-through at Burger King without
a major transmission overhaul? Because nobody cares, that's why."
WARNING: This is assuming your spouse's name is Margaret.
2. PLUGGING IN THE DEVICE: The plug on this device represents the latest
thinking of the electrical industry's Plug Mutation Group, which, in a
continuing effort to prevent consumers from causing hazardous electrical
current to flow through their appliances, developed the Three-Pronged
Plug, then the Plug Where One Prong is Bigger Than the Other. Your device
is equipped with the revolutionary new Plug Whose Prongs Consist of
Six Small Religious Figurines Made of Chocolate. DO NOT TRY TO PLUG IT IN!
Lay it gently on the floor near an outlet, but out of direct sunlight,
and clean it weekly with a damp handkerchief.
WARNING: WHEN YOU ARE LAYING THE PLUG ON THE FLOOR, DO NOT HOLD A SHARP
OBJECT IN YOUR OTHER HAND AND TRIP OVER THE CORD AND POKE YOUR EYE OUT,
AS THIS COULD VOID THE WARRANTY.
3. OPERATION OF THE DEVICE. WARNING: WE MANUFACTURE ONLY THE ATTRACTIVE
DESIGNER CASE. THE ACTUAL WORKING CENTRAL PARTS OF THE DEVICE ARE
MANUFACTURED IN JAPAN. THE INSTRUCTIONS WERE TRANSLATED BY MRS. SHIRLEY
PELTWATER OF ACCOUNTS RECEIVABLE, WHO HAS NEVER ACTUALLY BEEN TO JAPAN
BUT DOES HAVE MOST OF "SHOGUN" ON TAPE.
INSTRUCTIONS: For results that can be the finest, it is our advising that:
NEVER to hold these buttons two times!! Except the battery. Next taking the
(something) earth section may cause a large occurrence! However. If this is
not a trouble, such rotation is a very maintainence action, as a kindly
(something) virepoint from Drawing B.
4. WARRANTY: Be it hereby known that this device, together with but not
excluding all those certain parts thereunto, shall be warrantied against
all defects, failures and malfunctions as shall occur between now and
Thursday afternoon shortly before 2, during which time the Manufacturer
will, at no charge to the Owner, send the device to our Service People,
who will emerge from their caves and engage in rituals designed to cleanse
it of evil spirits. This warranty does not cover the attractive designer
case.
WARNING: IT MAY BE A VIOLATION OF SOME LAW THAT MRS. SHIRLEY PELTWATER
HAS "SHOGUN" ON TAPE.
I read this years ago in a Toyota owners manual. [:D]
I also bemoan the lack of manuals with many or most purchased equipment. But putting them in PDF form does save trees and shipping cost, I suppose. My problem is remembering everything that new cameras (for example) can do for you. There's a setting for portraits done to the light of fireworks? (I made that up, but would not be surprised to learn it's true.)
Norm used to post here a few years ago.
And fiery auto crashes
Some will die in hot pursuit
While sifting through my ashes
Some will fall in love with life
And drink it from a fountain
That is pouring like an avalanche
Coming down the mountain