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Golf joke
savage170
Member Posts: 37,553 ✭✭✭✭
A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion,
multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron
wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened
to YOU?"
"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with
my wife, when at a difficult hole; we both sliced
our balls into a cow pasture.
We went to look for them and while I was looking
around I noticed one of the cows had something
white at its rear end."
"I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough,
there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on
it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt."
Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my
wife,"Hey, THIS looks like YOURS!"
"... I don't remember much after that..."[B)][B)][B)]
[:D]
multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron
wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened
to YOU?"
"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with
my wife, when at a difficult hole; we both sliced
our balls into a cow pasture.
We went to look for them and while I was looking
around I noticed one of the cows had something
white at its rear end."
"I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough,
there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on
it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt."
Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my
wife,"Hey, THIS looks like YOURS!"
"... I don't remember much after that..."[B)][B)][B)]
[:D]
Comments
The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said,
"Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight
saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!"
The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special
prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if
there's anything she can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish.
Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!
At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"
The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not." Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?"
The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"