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Talking dog
RugerNiner
Member Posts: 12,636 ✭✭✭
A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale."
He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes around the house and into the backyard and sees a handsome Labrador Retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the Lab replies. "So, what's your story?" The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government; so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. "Ten dollars", says the owner. The guy says, "This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?" "Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."
He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes around the house and into the backyard and sees a handsome Labrador Retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the Lab replies. "So, what's your story?" The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government; so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. "Ten dollars", says the owner. The guy says, "This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?" "Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."
Keep your Powder dry and your Musket well oiled.
NRA Lifetime Benefactor Member.
NRA Lifetime Benefactor Member.
Comments
http://s78.photobucket.com/albums/j115/tsavo303/?action=view¤t=Talkingdog.flv
NRA Lifetime Benefactor Member.
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
'Ten dollars,' the guy says.
'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'
'Because he's a Democrat and a liar. He never did any of that crap.
NRA Lifetime Benefactor Member.
The man noticed that the address was that of his neighbors, so he walks next door. "Hey, Bob. The paper made a mistake on your ad."
"Not a mistake," Bob replies.
"Not a mistake? You mean you actually have a talking dog?"
"Yep. See for yourself. He's in the bedroom."
The man walks into the bedroom, and sees a dog, relaxed on the bed, laying on his back, with his paws behind his head.
"You the talking dog?" the man asks skeptically.
The dog turns and looks at him, and says, "Yep. Good to meet you."
The man is amazed. "Where did you learn to speak English," he asks.
The dog replies, "Well, it started in the Air Force. I used to be a dog instructor at the Air Force's K-9 dog school at Lackland Air Force Base. I learned english pretty good there. Then I was transferred to Army Special Forces. I went on some missions in Latin America, learned some more English, and even picked up some Spanish. After that, I was transferred to the Marines, where I was a Guard Dog at the Embassy in Paris. I learned a little French while I was there. Before I retired, I was transferred to the Navy, where I was a K-9 dog in Italy. Learned me some Italian while I was there."
The man was absolutely amazed. He went back into the living room and said to his neighbor, "That's amazing. How can you sell a dog like that for $20.00?"
The neighbor replied, "Because he's a damn liar. He never did any of those things."
NRA Lifetime Benefactor Member.
>
>You talk, he asks
>
>Yep, the dog replies.
>
>So, what's your story?
>
>The dog looks up and says, Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty government; so i told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jet sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be their most valuable spies for eight years running."
>
>"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly watching characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredicble dealings and was awarded I married, had a mess of puppies and now i'm just reitured.
>
>The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
>
>Ten Dollars
>
>The guy says, This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap.
>
>Because he's a liar. He didnt do any of that crap.
Larry
NRA Lifetime Benefactor Member.
Driving through a town in Mississippi, a guy sees a
sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale."
He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is
in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and
sees a black mutt just sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the mutt replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my
gift of understanding human speech and talking pretty young and I wanted to help the
government, so I told the CIA about my gift,
and in no time they had me jetting from country to
country, sitting in rooms with spies and world
leaders, because no one figured a dog would be
eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable
spies eight years running.
The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I
wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle
down. So I signed up for a job at the airport
to do some undercover security work, mostly
wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.
I uncovered some incredible dealings there and
was awarded a batch of medals.
Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the
owner what he wants for the dog.
The owner says, "Ten dollars."
The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are
you selling him, so cheap?"
The owner replies, "He's just a big liar. He didn't
do any of that crap!"
[:D][:D][:D]
Sarcastic humor a specialty
Audemus jura nostra defendere"
NRA Lifetime Benefactor Member.