Genie joke

savage170

Bill Clinton was driving past the White House when he accidentally ran over the Obama's new puppy, Sunny, crushing it flat as a fritter.

He climbed out of his Rolls and sat down on the grass totally distraught. He knew Michele would go friggin' ballistic.

Then Bill noticed a lamp half-buried in the ground. He dug it up, brushed it off and immediately a Genie popped out.

"You have freed me from thousands of years of imprisonment," said the Genie "As a reward I shall grant you one wish."

"Well," said Bill, "I have all the material things I need, but let me show you this damned dog."

They walk over to the splattered remains of Sunny. "Do you think you could bring this dog back to life for me?" Bill asked.

The Genie looked at the remains and shook his head. "This Critter is too far gone for even me to bring it back to life. Maybe there's something else you'd like?"

Bill thought for a minute, reached into his pocket and pulled out two photos. "I had an affair with this beautiful young girl said Bill, showing the genie the first photo. "But I'm actually married to this woman called Hillary" and he showed the genie the second photo. "You see what Hillary looks like, so do you think you can make her look like the other girl

The Genie studied the two photographs and after a few minutes said, "Damn Bill, let's have another look at that dog."

savage170

A guy is walking along a Florida beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish. The guy thinks for a moment and says, "I want to live forever." "Sorry," said the genie, "I'm not allowed to grant eternal life." "OK, then, I want to die after the Democrats balance the budget and eliminate the debt. "You crafty little bugger," said the genie.......

savage170

A black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican guy are walking through the desert, and they come across a lamp. They rub the lamp, and a genie comes out. He'll give 'em each a wish. Black guy goes first. He wants his people healthy and happy, back in Africa. Genie does it. Mexican guy goes second. He wants his people healthy and happy, back in Mexico. Genie does it. White guy's turn. "So all the blacks and Mexicans are out of the country?" he asks. "Yeah," says the genie. The white guy says, "Well, I guess I'll have a Coke."[:D]

retroxler58

[:D]

xxx97

[:D]

montanajoe

[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][;)][;)][;)]

Horse Plains Drifter

[:D][:D]

TooBig

[:D][:p][^] 3 bagger

rong

Good one

select-fire

[:)]

He Dog

Sorry about your dog.

Speaking of dogs, I would not exactly call Monica beautiful either.

CoolhandLuke

[:D][:D]

dav1965

[:D][:D][:D][:D]

Alpine

Good one! I stole it!

austin20

[:D][:D]

Oakie

[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]Gotta share that with my dad.

Marc1301

[:0][:D][:D]

armilite

[:D][:D][:D][:D]

dreher

So the guy looked at the Genie and said "Baby, you are really hot!! How about you come over here and give me a little head."

Poof!! The guys head was the size of a ping pong ball.[:D]

dreher

So the Genie said "I'll grant you any wish, but what ever your wish is, I'm going to double it for your ex-wife. As an example if you wish for 10 million dollars, your ex-wife gets 20 million dollars."

The guy thinks and thinks and finally said "I want you to beat me half to death!"