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A must read this is HYSTERICAL!

MMOMEQ-55MMOMEQ-55 Member Posts: 13,134
edited March 2013 in General Discussion
Any divers out there besides me? Imagine going thru what this diver had to endure.
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.

She then sent it to radio station 103 .5 on FM dial in Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.

Needless to say, she won.
Read his letter below...


Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.

It's a wet suit.

This time of year the water is quite cool, so what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.

This $20,000.00 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until, all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.

This only made things worse.

Within a few seconds my * started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my * was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my *.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.

His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my * was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your *.

Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'

Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day! !!!!


Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Comments

  • montanajoemontanajoe Forums Admins, Member, Moderator Posts: 60,159 ******
    edited November -1
    Poor son of a gun,,,[:D][:D][:D]
  • danielgagedanielgage Member Posts: 10,543 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
  • partisanpartisan Member Posts: 6,414
    edited November -1
  • ChrisInTempeChrisInTempe Member Posts: 15,562
    edited November -1
    Seen this one a few times over the the years. Pretty darned funny but has some factual holes in it.
  • Plain ole bubbaPlain ole bubba Member Posts: 472 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
  • retroxler58retroxler58 Member Posts: 32,693 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I haven't stopped Laughing... ROTFLMAO... [:D][:D][:D]
  • kshotxkshotx Member Posts: 22 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Reminds me of a saying I used to hear when i was young, and complained about work, "Eat a live toad right away in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day!" Thanks Dad
  • torosapotorosapo Member Posts: 4,946
    edited November -1
    This reminds me of an incident on a Navy salvage job. We were recovering a Md Air National Guard plane that crashed in the Chesapeak Bay near Christfield Md.

    One of the divers came up and had a jelly monster around his mouth peice. His lips were all swollen up and burning. All we coupld think is the old wives remedy is to pee on it. We offered but he refused treatment till we got back to the ship.
  • Don McManusDon McManus Member Posts: 23,681 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Nettle leaves for toilet paper (yes, I have personally verified this) create a similar feeling and significant swelling.

    It has been 45+ years and just reading the OP brought back distinct and painful memories.
    Freedom and a submissive populace cannot co-exist.

    Brad Steele
  • Mr. PerfectMr. Perfect Member, Moderator Posts: 66,404 ******
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by Don McManus
    Nettle leaves for toilet paper (yes, I have personally verified this) create a similar feeling and significant swelling.

    It has been 45+ years and just reading the OP brought back distinct and painful memories.
    Oh holy crap that makes me cringe!
    Some will die in hot pursuit
    And fiery auto crashes
    Some will die in hot pursuit
    While sifting through my ashes
    Some will fall in love with life
    And drink it from a fountain
    That is pouring like an avalanche
    Coming down the mountain
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