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DIVORCE AGREEMENT (C&P)
dheffley
Member Posts: 25,000 ✭
I love it!
DIVORCE AGREEMENT
THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.
OUTSTANDING.
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).
We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values... You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, * Ba Ya or We Are the World.
We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years..
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.
DIVORCE AGREEMENT
THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.
OUTSTANDING.
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).
We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values... You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, * Ba Ya or We Are the World.
We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years..
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.
Comments
I am sure his mommy and daddy pay good money for his health insurance.. Too bad all the children in need of medical attention dont have rich parents that can afford to send them to law school and provide medical insurance for them..When he gets Ill, and doesnt have health insurance he will scream another song..
Hummmmmm...................I wonder who owns the majority of the guns???? Liberals............not the ones I know![^]
quote:believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.
I am sure his mommy and daddy pay good money for his health insurance.. Too bad all the children in need of medical attention dont have rich parents that can afford to send them to law school and provide medical insurance for them..When he gets Ill, and doesnt have health insurance he will scream another song..
I don't have a problem paying taxes for all who work to have good health care, but I'm not paying a dime for lazy welfare bumbs and crack heads insurance, or some old gal who lays up and births 20 kids by 20 different men then won't tell social services who the fathers are so they can go after them to support the children.
Want insurance, go to work. If you don't make enough to cover the bills, I'll help out. Tell me I've got to go to work and provide it for someone for free while they sit on their butts, and hell is going to freeze over.
I know there are those in here that will say tuff snit, for them to go get a better Job,, Yep. Unemployment is approaching 12 percent and these people are happy to have a job, any job..
I have all the insurance I need, 100 percent coverage, but should I not think of those that are not as fortunate as I.???? I am not talking about the bums of the world either. those people that work, and are just not in the position to make a lot of money, which is a big portion of this countries work force..
quote:believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.
I am sure his mommy and daddy pay good money for his health insurance.. Too bad all the children in need of medical attention dont have rich parents that can afford to send them to law school and provide medical insurance for them..When he gets Ill, and doesnt have health insurance he will scream another song..
I don't know what hospital you go to, but by law no one is turned away.
So I guess those children you are so concerned about need to go to another hospital. It's for the children you know.
Margaret Thatcher
"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics."
Mark Twain
The sign at our hospital reads, In the case of EMERGENCY we wil treat you regardless of your ability to pay..
Every day illnesses are not always an EMERGENCY and I have seen the hospital send them away to go to some clinic which cost money they dont have..
And yes it is about children, I hope yours are covered....[:(] Not all of them are as fortunate..
OH! I agree danny, but there are far too many people struggling just to get by.. I know people that are working, Man and Wife, and they barely can keep up.. Not everyone gets to be a doctor or lawyer, or the CEO of some big company.. Those McDonald workers , and Circle K workers need health insurance to, along wioth their 6.50 dollar an hour job..
I know there are those in here that will say tuff snit, for them to go get a better Job,, Yep. Unemployment is approaching 12 percent and these people are happy to have a job, any job..
I have all the insurance I need, 100 percent coverage, but should I not think of those that are not as fortunate as I.???? I am not talking about the bums of the world either. those people that work, and are just not in the position to make a lot of money, which is a big portion of this countries work force..
And like I said, I'm all for helping them, but I want a way to weed out the bumbs, not just an "all inclusive" plan like the lib's want!
I think the key is AFFORDABLE health insurance. everybody pays SOMETHING, but not everybody pays the same.
If there is no welfare paid health insurance, the millions (billions) of dollars spent could be used to subsidize the insurance companies so they could offer affordable coverage.
at my ER, management has decided that EVERYONE will be seen, emergency or not! the folks w/o jobs/income always come in after hours! wonder what they were doing all day?[:(!]