Golf Joke

SWAT 50

Jill: I just don't understand the attraction golf holds for men.

Mary: Tell me about it! I went golfing with my husband one time, and he told me I asked too
many questions!

Jill: Well, I'm sure you were just trying to understand the game. What questions did you ask?

Mary: I thought I asked legitimate questions... like, "Why did you hit the ball into that lake?"

SWAT 50

A man goes to a public golf course. He approaches the man behind the counter in the pro shop and says, "I would like 18 holes of golf and a caddy."

The man behind the counter says, "The 18 holes of golf is no problem, but all of the caddies are out on the course. What I will do for you is this: We just received 8 brand new robot golf caddies. If you're willing to take one with you out on the course and come back and tell me how well it works, your round of golf is on me today."

The golfer obviously accepted the man's offer. He approached the first tee, looked at the fairway and said to himself, "I think my driver will do the job."

The robot caddy turned to the man and said, "No sir. Use your 3 wood. A driver is far too much club for this hole." Hesitantly, the golfer pulled out his 3 wood, made good contact with the ball, and the ball landed about 10 feet to the right front of the hole on the green.

The golfer, delighted, turned to the robot and thanked him for his assistance. As the golfer pulled out his putter he said, "I think this green is gonna break left to right." The robot then again spoke up and said, "No sir. I do believe this green will break right to left."

Thinking about the last time the robot corrected his prediction, he decided again to listen to the machine. He made his putt and birdied the hole thanks to the robot and his advice But his luck didn't end there. His entire game was the best game he ever played, thanks to the assistance of the new robot golf caddy.

Upon returning to the clubhouse, the man behind the counter asked, "How was your game ?" The golfer stated, "It was, by far, the BEST game I ever played. Thank you very much for letting me take one of your robots. See you next week."

A week passed, and excited, the golfer returned to the pro shop. Upon entering, he turned to the man behind the counter and said, "I would like 18 holes of golf and one of those robot golf caddies, please."

The gentleman from behind the counter turned to the man and said, "Well the 18 holes is no problem. However, we had to get rid of the robots. We had too many complaints."

"COMPLAINTS? Who could've complained about those robots? They were incredible"


The man sighed and said, "Well, it wasn't their performance. It was that they were made of shiny silver metal, and the sun reflecting off them was blinding to other golfers on the fair way."

The golfer said, "So then why didn't you just paint them black?"

The man nodded sadly and replied, "We did. Then four of 'em didn't show up for work, two filed for welfare, one of them robbed the pro shop, and the other thinks he's the President."

SWAT 50

Morris was a man who knew all there was to know about golf. He knew all the courses, the champions and their scores as well as the prize money the professionals had won for the past 50 years or more. He had read every book ever published on the game and knew all there was to know about technique, but, strange to say, he had never played a game.
Having listened to him hold court for so long, his friends finally ganged up on him and insisted that he play the game. It was arranged for the following weekend.
Morris set out with borrowed clubs and faced the 18 holes of his local course. Five hours later he returned with a score of 53, which included four eagles, nine birdies and a hole in one. Never had anyone seen such a fine performance from a beginner.
However, while the celebrations were going on in the clubhouse, Morris announced that he would never play again.
?What!?? cried his distraught mates.
?What!?? echoed the equally distraught pro. ?But you could win all sorts of prizes for the club. You know everything there is to know about the game.?
?Not everything,? Morris replied. ?The books didn?t tell me I?d have to walk.?

diver-rig

[:D][:D]

dav1965

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