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the atheist

rambo rebelrambo rebel Member Posts: 4,028
edited January 2016 in General Discussion
"THE ATHEIST"

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees!
What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the
... ... bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw
that the bear was closing in on him.
His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.
But, he tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up,
but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him.
At that instant the atheist cried out: " Oh my God!.."
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and
a voice came out of the sky saying:
"You deny my existence for all of these years, teach
others I don't exist and even credit creation to a
cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of
this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light.
"It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to
treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you
make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very well," said the voice. The light went out, and
the sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke:
"Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and
for which I am truly thankful, Amen. "
[:D]

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    rambo rebelrambo rebel Member Posts: 4,028
    edited November -1
    Newdow, filed an emergency brief to stop the prayer at the inaugeration, because it violates his constitutional rights , being forced to accept religeous beliefs,He dont want it shoved on him, but its Ok for this * hole to shove it off on everyone else. Why do the courts even mess with this dude????
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    rambo rebelrambo rebel Member Posts: 4,028
    edited November -1
    The Atheist
    An atheist was seated next to a little * an airplane and he turned
    to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike
    up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

    The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total
    stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

    "Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God,
    or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.

    "Okay," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask
    you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same
    stuff - grass. Yet a deer poops little pellets, while a cow turns
    out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

    The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence,
    thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

    To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss
    God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don't know chit?"


    [}:)][:D]
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    rambo rebelrambo rebel Member Posts: 4,028
    edited November -1
    An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What
    majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful
    animals!" he said to himself.


    As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7
    foot grizzly charging towards him.


    He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over
    his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on
    him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.

    He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to
    pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to
    take a swipe at him. At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God..."


    Time stopped.


    The bear froze.


    The forest was silent.


    It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying: "You deny my
    existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"


    The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would
    be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me
    as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the
    BEAR a Christian?"


    "Very well," said the voice. The light went out. And
    the sounds of the forest resumed.


    And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and
    spoke:


    "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful. Amen."
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    rambo rebelrambo rebel Member Posts: 4,028
    edited November -1
    I mean no offense to anyone with this JOKE, thats all it is..
    An atheist complained to a friend, "Christians have their special holidays, such as Christmas and Easter. Jews celebrate their holidays, such as Passover and Yom Kippur. Muslims have their holidays, such as The Holiday of Charity and The Commemoration of Abraham's Sacrifice. Every religion has its holidays. But we atheists," he said, "have no recognized national holidays. It's unfair discrimination, I say!" His friend replied, "Well, why don't you celebrate April first?"
    visit the texas militia org forums
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    catgunguycatgunguy Member Posts: 6,089
    edited November -1
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    swearengineswearengine Member Posts: 1,308 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    But she did not know chit so she wasn't qualified either.
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    rambo rebelrambo rebel Member Posts: 4,028
    edited November -1
    thus showing that she realizes she and no one does when it comes to spiritual matters.
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    Rack OpsRack Ops Member Posts: 18,596 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by swearengine
    But she did not know chit so she wasn't qualified either.


    She'd fit right in here [:)]
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    asopasop Member Posts: 8,927 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
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    He DogHe Dog Member Posts: 51,159 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    That story works well as long as you are preaching to the choir.
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    select-fireselect-fire Member Posts: 69,446 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
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    montanajoemontanajoe Forums Admins, Member, Moderator Posts: 58,296 ******
    edited November -1
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    austin20austin20 Member Posts: 35,302 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
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