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the atheist
rambo rebel
Member Posts: 4,028
"THE ATHEIST"
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees!
What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the
... ... bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw
that the bear was closing in on him.
His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.
But, he tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up,
but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him.
At that instant the atheist cried out: " Oh my God!.."
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and
a voice came out of the sky saying:
"You deny my existence for all of these years, teach
others I don't exist and even credit creation to a
cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of
this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light.
"It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to
treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you
make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very well," said the voice. The light went out, and
the sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke:
"Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and
for which I am truly thankful, Amen. "
[:D]
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees!
What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the
... ... bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw
that the bear was closing in on him.
His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.
But, he tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up,
but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him.
At that instant the atheist cried out: " Oh my God!.."
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and
a voice came out of the sky saying:
"You deny my existence for all of these years, teach
others I don't exist and even credit creation to a
cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of
this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light.
"It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to
treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you
make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very well," said the voice. The light went out, and
the sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke:
"Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and
for which I am truly thankful, Amen. "
[:D]
Comments
An atheist was seated next to a little * an airplane and he turned
to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike
up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total
stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God,
or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.
"Okay," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask
you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same
stuff - grass. Yet a deer poops little pellets, while a cow turns
out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"
The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence,
thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss
God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don't know chit?"
[}:)][:D]
majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful
animals!" he said to himself.
As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7
foot grizzly charging towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over
his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on
him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.
He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to
pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to
take a swipe at him. At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God..."
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying: "You deny my
existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would
be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me
as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the
BEAR a Christian?"
"Very well," said the voice. The light went out. And
the sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and
spoke:
"Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful. Amen."
An atheist complained to a friend, "Christians have their special holidays, such as Christmas and Easter. Jews celebrate their holidays, such as Passover and Yom Kippur. Muslims have their holidays, such as The Holiday of Charity and The Commemoration of Abraham's Sacrifice. Every religion has its holidays. But we atheists," he said, "have no recognized national holidays. It's unfair discrimination, I say!" His friend replied, "Well, why don't you celebrate April first?"
visit the texas militia org forums
But she did not know chit so she wasn't qualified either.
She'd fit right in here [:)]