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Pilots' Wisdom joke
savage170
Member Posts: 37,569 ✭✭✭✭
1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller.
That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.
5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool.
Because when it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one
after which they can use the plane again.
9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.
11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival.
Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice-versa.
12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.
13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane
going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known
to hide out in clouds.
14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.
15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag
of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear
is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.
19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour
and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.
20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience usually comes from bad judgment.
21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.
22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.
24. The four most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you,
gas back at the airport, and a tenth of a second ago.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller.
That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.
5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool.
Because when it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one
after which they can use the plane again.
9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.
11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival.
Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice-versa.
12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.
13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane
going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known
to hide out in clouds.
14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.
15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag
of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear
is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.
19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour
and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.
20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience usually comes from bad judgment.
21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.
22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.
24. The four most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you,
gas back at the airport, and a tenth of a second ago.
Comments
6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool.
Because when it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.Ain't it the truth!!!!!! This is the cartoon that appeared at the bottom of the Air Plan the day after we lost an engine on takeoff from the USS Midway (CVA-41). As bad as the one engine takeoff was, the arrested landing that followed was an "E Ticket" ride! [:0] In our case, the Pilot was Joe Cool, the Co-Pilot did a little sweating! [:D]
PB Picture removed.
If you can't feel the music; it's only pink noise!
Red over red - keep coming you are dead.
White over white - you are high as a kite.
Red over white - you are alright.
Best - AQH
quote:Originally posted by Old-Colts
quote:Originally posted by savage170
6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool.
Because when it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.Ain't it the truth!!!!!! This is the cartoon that appeared at the bottom of the Air Plan the day after we lost an engine on takeoff from the USS Midway (CVA-41). As bad as the one engine takeoff was, the arrested landing that followed was an "E Ticket" ride! [:0] In our case, the Pilot was Joe Cool, the Co-Pilot did a little sweating! [:D]I imagine you only get one chance at that landing.
He better trap or your going swimming.FCD, after surviving the one depicted in the cartoon, I can tell you that in my opinion the launch is the scariest and most dangerous part. Since you only have one fan turning [:D], on recovery your approach airspeed is higher and glideslope is more level than with a normal carrier landing, so when you hit the deck and engage the arresting cable it really puts a lot of pressure on you against your seatbelts and shoulder harness!!!! So, unless the arresting wire breaks or you have a partial engagement and release, you probably have enough airspeed in case of a bolter.
If you can't feel the music; it's only pink noise!
The entire AIM regulation manual is written by lessons learned from those that have gone before us; with just enough Governmental BS tossed in to drive you deeply, profoundly insane.
[img][/img]
He is flying rescue missions down in Texas right now...[B)]
I once asked Orlando if he had ever been in a crash or hard landing, and he said
"Every landing is a controlled crash, just depends how much control you had at the time!"...[^]
Trinity +++