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Hunting joke
kissgoodnight
Member Posts: 4,064 ✭✭✭
Nutty Hunters
Two men went hunting. Joe had been hunting all his life, but Steve was hunting for the first time. Joe told Steve to sit down and not make a sound. So he did.
But when Joe got 100 yards away, he heard a scream. "I thought I told you to be quiet!" he said.
"Well, I was when the snake bit me," said Steve. "And I was when the bear attacked me... but when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant leg and said, 'Should we eat them or take them with us,' I screamed
Two men went hunting. Joe had been hunting all his life, but Steve was hunting for the first time. Joe told Steve to sit down and not make a sound. So he did.
But when Joe got 100 yards away, he heard a scream. "I thought I told you to be quiet!" he said.
"Well, I was when the snake bit me," said Steve. "And I was when the bear attacked me... but when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant leg and said, 'Should we eat them or take them with us,' I screamed
Comments
The first guy turns to the other and says "Did you know that if you piss on an electric fence, you will see blue smoke?"
His buddie says, No, I have never heard that."
His friend says, "Sure, it is true. Do it."
So the buddie whips it out and starts peeing. When the stream hit the fence his head exploded with pain and his crotch felt like it was on fire. He fell to the ground screaming.
When he got up wiping the tears from his eyes he yelled, "I thought you said I would see blue smoke?"
His friend said, "Well you closed your eyes!!"
Jake asks her: "What are you up to?"
Alice smiles: "I'm going hunting with you!"
Jake, though he has many reservations about this, reluctantly decides to take her along.
Three hours later they arrive at a game preserve just outside of San Marcos,Texas.
Jake sets his lovely wife safely up in the tree stand and tells her: "If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I'll come running back as soon as I hear the shot."
Jake walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice couldn't bag an elephant -- much less a deer.
Not 10 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears an array of gunshots. Quickly, Jake starts running back.
As Jake gets closer to her stand, he hears Alice screaming: "Get the hell away from my deer!"
Confused and frightened Jake races faster towards his screaming wife. And again he hears her yell, "Get the hell away from my deer!" followed by another volley of gunfire!
Now within sight of where he had left his wife, Jake is surprised to see a cowboy, with his hands high in the air.
The cowboy, obviously distraught, says, "Okay, lady! You can have your damn deer! Just let me get my saddle off it!"
.: Posted on Wednesday, July 10, 2002 :.
i know a guy that did that not knowing it was electric, another guy fell out of his stand onto a electric fence