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Can you depend on family?
mlincoln
Member Posts: 5,039 ✭✭✭
I sat down and got to thinking if I could depend on my family for help if a truly large crisis loomed, like if there was a catastrophic accident or if I needed their support for a long period of time, like a month.
The answer was mixed. Of the four living members of my family, the answer was 0 absolutely yes, 1 probably, 2 maybe, and 1 no. When I thought of my friends, the answer was better. If the three very close ones, it was 1 absolutely yes and 2 probably.
Sitting here thinking about it, that's depressing. My sister would probably send a check, but as for coming and helping me, she just would never do that.
The answer was mixed. Of the four living members of my family, the answer was 0 absolutely yes, 1 probably, 2 maybe, and 1 no. When I thought of my friends, the answer was better. If the three very close ones, it was 1 absolutely yes and 2 probably.
Sitting here thinking about it, that's depressing. My sister would probably send a check, but as for coming and helping me, she just would never do that.
Comments
They don't know I exist now [:(]
Maybe I would end up like a lot we see here, in the median panhandling for funeral money, because the entire family don't have or won't give enough to bury a member.
My close friends all buy guns, they are too broke to help.[:p]
The problem is that they will all also, almost without fail, justify anything to meet their own ends.
They also, for the most part, won't take any steps to prepare for any potential crisis.
As to your question of whether you can depend on your family for help in a crisis....I believe the answer is "yes", so long as you have food, water, and shelter to spare for them....for they will almost certainly bring nothing of their own.
I believe in the "neither borrower nor lender be" way of life. Nothing destroys a friendship like a bum that won't return what he's borrowed or tears it up without replacing it.
For the adult part of my life I've never had to ask for help and I wouldn't now at 65 years old no matter what the circumstance.
I believe in the "neither borrower nor lender be" way of life. Nothing destroys a friendship like a bum that won't return what he's borrowed or tears it up without replacing it.
I agree with you and I have tried to live my life that way too. I have for the most part, and while a lot of that is due to hard work there is also I must admit a fair amount of luck in there.
A lady at work has a daughter who was on the right track. She's out of college, starting her career, good job, apartment, headed on her way. Then her daughter in a terrible car wreck. She survives, but is sort of an adult child. She is about a 4 year old in a grown woman's body and always will be.
The lady I work with has taken her back into her home and puts her in a sort of day care during the day and picks her up at about 5:00 PM. She will always have to care for her. She talked to me about it and told me that she fears for what will happen to her daughter when she is gone.
What is the meaning of family if we can not turn to it in our time of need?
Had this talk with my wife several times.
Who could we count on if needed? My family, except for my one sister, who is not even my sister as she was adopted, would help. As for the rest of my family, they never wanted to know the bible reading, gun toting country boy at all. I am the redheaded step child, outside looking in. Guess that happens, went you are a teen age kid growing up in a house full of left wing, pro-abortion, dem-o-rats voting, gun hating family. They couldn't believe that I would question THEIR life choices and went out on my own.
My wife's family is SUPER. Country folks. Good people, who would and have helped me.
Also blessed with a couple of friends, that would be there in a flash if I called for help, as I would for them.
You can pick your friends, but not your family.
Added: The key issue here has to do with the degree and type of help needed for like about a month as mentioned. That and weather or not the family member(s) are qualified to help someone who has had a catastrophic accident. A lot of variables would figure in with one being the means for the individual to support himself while being assited by family.
For a long term illness, I couldn't even count on my (so called ) spouse.
I keep telling the "boys" that one day, they're going to be the ones everyone turns to rather than me but if they're hearing, it's not sinking in.
I often think about folks who are alone, with no family or friends around. For me, a guy who sees most of his family everyday, I feel sorry for those who don't.
In any case, generally speaking, from early teens onward I was the one being depended upon. Still am.
You do what you can and what you must. The rest is beyond you and you just have to learn to let it go.
Probably, but I hope I never have to ask to find out.
Along with at least one good friend.
A couple of them might offer to help, but would just get in the way.
Haven't spoken to my last surviving sister in over a year since she was an azzhole when we were selling our mother's house.
Most of the friends I had have died, or live too far away.
So I can depend on my wife, and two sons. That's about it. But all I have needed so far.
This is such a depressing thread... [:(]
Well ... yeah ... Some threads are best ignored.