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How many does it take?

Big Sky RedneckBig Sky Redneck Member Posts: 19,752 ✭✭✭
edited March 2015 in General Discussion
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?


Charismatic : Only 1
Hands are already in the air.


Pentecostal : 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.



Presbyterians : None
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.


Roman Catholic : None
Use candles only.



Baptists : At least 15
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken


Episcopalians : 3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.






Mormon : 5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how
to do it.


Unitarians :
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid parts to luminescence.


Methodists : Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb , or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

Nazarene : 6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.



Lutherans : None
Lutherans don't believe in change.







Amish :
What's a light bulb?

Comments

  • Big Sky RedneckBig Sky Redneck Member Posts: 19,752 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    On average a truck pulling a reefer trailer can haul 45,000# in the trailer. So counting without counting dunnage and box weight lets say maybe 43,500 in actual product weight.

    How many cows/steers/bulls have to be killed to get 43,500# of end user product? How many truck loads from the cow haulers does it take to get ine truck load of burger and steaks?

    What about pigs, same weight how many pigs to get a load of bacon? Pork chops?

    Chickens? How many chickens would it take to load a reefer trailer to capacity with finished product?

    If big slaughter houses can load out 20 trucks a day thats a lot of killin
  • TooBigTooBig Member Posts: 28,559 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    People have to eat
  • MG1890MG1890 Member Posts: 4,460 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Bigger question:

    How fast was the truck going that took the top row of chickens of cleaner than the scum off a Louisiana swamp?
  • Sam06Sam06 Member Posts: 21,244 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Lets work with average weights:

    1200# steer yields about 750# carcass which will yield maybe 480# of meat.



    -So 43,500/480= 90.6 round it up to 91 and you have your answer.


    91 Steer went to fill that truck or there abouts[;)]
    RLTW

  • LesWVaLesWVa Member Posts: 10,490 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Was at Cargill, a huge slaughter house in Dodge City KS years ago. A guy told us that they could butcher 10,000 head of cattle in 24 hours..

    Something to give you a gut check.. Next time you drive through an average town of say 50-75 thousand people.. Think what it would take if every single family in each house you saw decided to have Chicken for dinner on Tuesday.
  • asopasop Member Posts: 9,020 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood[:D]
  • pwilliepwillie Member Posts: 20,253 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by asop
    How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood[:D]
    That's easy!%4##3@*&^5
  • select-fireselect-fire Member Posts: 69,530 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by asop
    How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood[:D]


    He Can't. I got him with the rifle fore' he ate the soybeans
  • 1BigGuy1BigGuy Member Posts: 4,033 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by MG1890
    Bigger question:

    How fast was the truck going that took the top row of chickens of cleaner than the scum off a Louisiana swamp?



    They shot that tunnel at 110 like gas through a funnel and eggs through a hen.[;)]
  • Chief ShawayChief Shaway Member, Moderator Posts: 6,289 ******
    edited November -1
    1/3.
    I use that on deer and have on hogs and it is pretty darn close.
  • NeoBlackdogNeoBlackdog Member Posts: 17,283 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by 1BigGuy
    quote:Originally posted by MG1890
    Bigger question:

    How fast was the truck going that took the top row of chickens of cleaner than the scum off a Louisiana swamp?



    They shot that tunnel at 110 like gas through a funnel and eggs through a hen.[;)]

    That's 22,000 telephone poles an hour!
    That's one of my favorite songs![:D]
  • themountainmanthemountainman Member Posts: 1,207 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    PETA won't like this thread. Except PEOPLE EATING TASTY ANIMALS!
    Downtown PAGOSA Springs is about ten miles from Wolf Creek Pass[:I]
    There are 3 kinds of people in the world. Those who can do math and those who can't. :?
  • MG1890MG1890 Member Posts: 4,460 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    So, Big Sky, ever go truckin' on down the other side of Wolf Creek Pass, which is up on the great divide?

    Ever have a runaway?
  • 1BigGuy1BigGuy Member Posts: 4,033 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    With some fella named Earl?
  • hotshoothotshoot Member Posts: 4,227
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by 1BigGuy
    With some fella named Earl?


    His eyes were wide and his leg was fried
  • armilitearmilite Member Posts: 35,490 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I know the Cargill pant here also saves the hides and they send the heads some where as well. Who knows maybe they send the guts & stuff to be used in animal feed. Over all they pretty much use everything including the blood. I know they boil it and what they do after that is anyones guess.
  • hillbillehillbille Member Posts: 14,460 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by armilite
    I know the Cargill pant here also saves the hides and they send the heads some where as well. Who knows maybe they send the guts & stuff to be used in animal feed. Over all they pretty much use everything including the blood. I know they boil it and what they do after that is anyones guess.



    what do you think makes the ketchup red????????????
  • Big Sky RedneckBig Sky Redneck Member Posts: 19,752 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    So, about 3 truckloads of live cows/steers/bulls to make one truckload of burger and steaks. 91 of them critters for one load, thats a lot of beef!

    I honestly thought the yield from on cow/steer/bull was a couple hundred #s higher.
  • Sam06Sam06 Member Posts: 21,244 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by Big Sky Redneck
    So, about 3 truckloads of live cows/steers/bulls to make one truckload of burger and steaks. 91 of them critters for one load, thats a lot of beef!

    I honestly thought the yield from on cow/steer/bull was a couple hundred #s higher.



    I think the working number the meat companies use is 65% live weight for a carcass and 40% live for the meat that you eat. The rest is fat and bones.


    Here is a site I found that lays it out on beef.

    http://igrow.org/livestock/beef/how-much-meat-can-you-expect-from-a-fed-steer/


    I don't know about pigs but I believe their yield is higher than a steer by maybe 5-10%.

    Also remember the meat packers use and sell the stuff we don't eat like the hide for leather, the fat goes to get rendered, the bones are used.
    RLTW

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