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wife has a different version of Adam and eve
savage170
Member Posts: 37,468 ✭✭✭✭
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God.
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied.. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem..
It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain."
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced".
"That's a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden....
"Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone. "
God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let's see....where did I put that useless boob?"
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied.. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem..
It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain."
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced".
"That's a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden....
"Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone. "
God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let's see....where did I put that useless boob?"
Comments
St. Peter tells them, they have to pass a test before entering Heaven.
To the first Nun, he asks, " Who built an ark to save the animals?"
"Thats an easy one, It was Noah".
BING_BING BING, bells ring and lites flash and the gates open...
To the second Nun St.Peter asks, " Who lead his people across the desert to the promised land"?
"Oh an easy one too, That was Moses"
BInG BING BING, bells ring, lites flash and the gates open up.
To the last Nun waiting in line, "What did Eve say to Adam, the first time she saw him"?
"WOW, That's a hard one"
BING BING BING.........
Different details, but same sentiment as the T-shirt one of my colleagues wore that read, "Adam was a rough draft."