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Some of you gave me 6 Months
searcher5
Member Posts: 13,511 ✭
after my divorce. Well, it has been 7 months, since I have been separated, and only 3 since I've been officially divorced.
Those of you who have been down this path, how long did it take you to get serious about somebody, after being betrayed?
I've met someone, likely trouble, because I have not done well with red hair and brown eyes in the past, yet I seem to be drawn to them. I feel pretty strongly about her, and the feeling is definitely mutual. I guess, it just seems to be too soon, but it just doesn't feel that way, and I'm not getting any younger. I'm not talking marriage here, but a commitment. It just feels right. So, how much time did you give yourselves? Or, does it matter?
(sorry, little confused here)
Those of you who have been down this path, how long did it take you to get serious about somebody, after being betrayed?
I've met someone, likely trouble, because I have not done well with red hair and brown eyes in the past, yet I seem to be drawn to them. I feel pretty strongly about her, and the feeling is definitely mutual. I guess, it just seems to be too soon, but it just doesn't feel that way, and I'm not getting any younger. I'm not talking marriage here, but a commitment. It just feels right. So, how much time did you give yourselves? Or, does it matter?
(sorry, little confused here)
Comments
However, female companionship can be wonderful.
Keep in mind there is a frying pan and a fire. Don't jump from one to the other.[;)]
Best of luck to you,
Ed
Think, but don't over think. Just be yourself and let things go where they may. And Searcher, have fun.
Tread softly and take your time...Best of luck to U friend..
Meet a female at work and she seemed nice. Talked a little about twice a week. She found out where I lived and showed up one day while I was washing my travel trailer. Didn't go looking for it, it just sort of showed up. Didn't work out, she was looking for a daddy for her twelve year old, and I wasn't looking to get married any time soon. Remained friends and she set me up with a few other ladies she thought I'd be interested in.
Everyone is different, but you just have to figure yourself out first.
My Dad always said "Women are like street cars, there will be another along any minute".
after my divorce. Well, it has been 7 months, since I have been separated, and only 3 since I've been officially divorced.
Those of you who have been down this path, how long did it take you to get serious about somebody, after being betrayed?
I've met someone, likely trouble, because I have not done well with red hair and brown eyes in the past, yet I seem to be drawn to them. I feel pretty strongly about her, and the feeling is definitely mutual. I guess, it just seems to be too soon, but it just doesn't feel that way, and I'm not getting any younger. I'm not talking marriage here, but a commitment. It just feels right. So, how much time did you give yourselves? Or, does it matter?
(sorry, little confused here)
In all seriousness it takes 18 months to two years for your mind to heal and get you into the right spot. You have rebound syndrome, enjoy each other, be kind and be very careful, it is WAY, I mean W-A-Y too early for a committed relationship.
BTDT got the burn marks, also escaped from exactly what you describe more than once. Looking back now, I am very glad I did.
Dan, everyone is different. I would just let your heart heal for a while before diving in again. It is only time and you still have a lot left in the tank. If this one really cares about you, she will be patient. It hurt me for many years thinking about my first wife cheating, but then I realized that the only one that really cared was me. From that day on, I started to think about what I wanted out of life and a relationship. I found it with Donna. I may * about her sometimes, But she is a good wife, mother and friend. I wouldn't want anyone else. Oakie
If you are talking about the two of you spending time together, and neither of you is particularly interesting in playing the field, I think you are fine.
If you are talking co-habitating, and/or one of you thinking that you have 'exclusive rights' for lack of a better term, to the other, I would say it is too soon.
I can understand you not wanting to be alone too much, but I think the advice from Oakie and others is spot on: Give yourself time to heal.
It takes awhile, and sometimes us tough guys don't want to admit that out hearts can take hits just like the gals.
Spend some time with a nice lady, don't get too deep into anything, and see how Life goes from there.
My 2.3756 cents. [;)]
Dan, I guess for me it depends on what you mean by 'commitment'.
If you are talking about the two of you spending time together, and neither of you is particularly interesting in playing the field, I think you are fine.
If you are talking co-habitating, and/or one of you thinking that you have 'exclusive rights' for lack of a better term, to the other, I would say it is too soon.
I can understand you not wanting to be alone too much, but I think the advice from Oakie and others is spot on: Give yourself time to heal.
It takes awhile, and sometimes us tough guys don't want to admit that out hearts can take hits just like the gals.
Spend some time with a nice lady, don't get too deep into anything, and see how Life goes from there.
My 2.3756 cents. [;)]
I agree, treat this as a rebound, enjoy the company, but I wouldn't get too close. Frankly after my divorce a year or so later I got seriously involved with a lady and it didn't work out. that was more devastating then my wife cheating on me and walking out. The reason I believe is because I never really dealt with all the hurt from my ex-wife and the end of that relations ship compounded all the unresolved stuff. After that I stayed single for several years, grew comfortable being single, content actually and eventually met my current wife.
If she is coming on strong I would suggest that you slow her down, you'd be better off the play the field and get comfortable getting to know yourself again.
True, so true.
Having said that, my advice is to take things slow. My dear Mother told me "Marry in haste, repent at leisure." I should have listened....both times.
With What Turned Out Was an Alcoholic
We were together 25 Long Months
Done....WHEEEEEW Can You Spell SYYYYY-CO
Met Dori
We Knew Each other through A mutual Friend Years Before.
We lived together 12 Years me Ready her Not.... her Ready Me Not.....
Back and Forth We Didn't want to Ruin What we Had.
After her breast Cancer We Decided Life May be Short We Married
in 2004 And
Never looked Back
We Both Learned One Major thing In Our
Previous Marriages .... We keep Separate Checking Accounts Savings Etc
if She Wants Something She buys It Same With Me
Sometimes We Purchase together
if We need it Never With payments
Her Car My truck our Dog our Cat
There Are No anymositys(SP) in this Household
If they Want You to put Your home and All in their Name too
Woohhhhh .....Provide For them In The Event You are StoneDead they Can have it when Your Dead and Gone........
22+ Years Of NO ARGUMENTS No BULLCRAP
I" Love this Woman",,,, More than I Love Myself
And I Am Pretty Partial to This Fat Ol' Wiskered Man
He Has Been With Me For 62 Years thin & Thick[:o)]
Be Careful Searcher[^]
You will know ,,,,,You will know[;)]
Woody
Mom Is wise:
quote:My dear Mother told me "Marry in haste, repent at leisure."
Pictures would help us help you decide......lol
This too!
+1[;)]
"Never do wrong to make a friend----or to keep one".....Robert E. Lee
Dan
pictures would help!!!
My best wishes to you, my friend.