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Women!!

Smitty500magSmitty500mag Member Posts: 13,623 ✭✭✭✭
edited August 2019 in General Discussion
My wife was vacuuming earlier today while I was trying to listen to some music while lying in my recliner surfing the Internet on my lap top and you'd think I was doing something wrong?? I told her after she finished the vacuuming and doing what ever else needed to be done around the house that I'd have sex with her to in order to make up for my share of the work. You'd think that would maker her happy? Well noooo it didn't amazingly! :roll:

Anyway, you know those little dust mops that's used to clean ceiling fan blades? The handle of one of those things, when struck across the forehead with one, makes a nasty little whelp. :shock: :oops:
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Comments

  • WearyTravelerWearyTraveler Member Posts: 2,019 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Just can?t make them happy....
    ”People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."
    - GEORGE ORWELL -
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  • hillbillehillbille Member Posts: 14,458 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    WearyTraveler wrote:
    Just can?t make them happy....

    yep usually the only ones you can make happy, aren't yours!! which can lead to a whole new level of unhappy............
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  • NeoBlackdogNeoBlackdog Member Posts: 17,273 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I bought my wife a mood ring so that I can better gauge her moods and I'll be darned if it doesn't work! When she's sad it turns blue, when she's happy it turns green, and when she's pissed at me it leaves a big red welt on my forehead!
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  • discusdaddiscusdad Member Posts: 11,427 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    blame.. yourself bucko.....you shudda told her to stop for a little bit and make you a sandwich quickly.but noooooo you chose sex. at your age really. a good sandwich is priceless.
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  • hillbillehillbille Member Posts: 14,458 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    discusdad wrote:
    blame.. yourself bucko.....you shudda told her to stop for a little bit and make you a sandwich quickly.but noooooo you chose sex. at your age really. a good sandwich is priceless.


    yeah but even staring at a nice BLT or juicy hamburger, sometimes you just have to throw caution to the wind and go all in and ask for sex, one of these days she may mess up and say yes, then what?????????????
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  • spasmcreekspasmcreek Member Posts: 37,717 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    anyone who remembers mood rings is to old to get any good out of one...what does it mean if you watch the color fade to black ???
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  • Smitty500magSmitty500mag Member Posts: 13,623 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    spasmcreek wrote:
    anyone who remembers mood rings is to old to get any good out of one...what does it mean if you watch the color fade to black ???

    Your EBT card is about to run out?
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  • WearyTravelerWearyTraveler Member Posts: 2,019 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Smitty500mag wrote:
    spasmcreek wrote:
    anyone who remembers mood rings is to old to get any good out of one...what does it mean if you watch the color fade to black ???

    Your EBT card is about to run out?

    Now that?s funny!
    ”People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."
    - GEORGE ORWELL -
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  • 35 Whelen35 Whelen Member Posts: 14,307 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Next time, just dive behind the couch, and heave chocolate bars over the top like hand grenades.
    An unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it.
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  • wpageabcwpageabc Member Posts: 8,760 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Its true boys.

    Cant live with em or with out them.

    Its the tender trap God created to keep the world moving in the right direction :arrow:
    "What is truth?'
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  • Mr. PerfectMr. Perfect Member, Moderator Posts: 66,437 ******
    edited November -1
    As Norm from Cheers once said: Women, can't live with em, can't shoot 'em.
    Some will die in hot pursuit
    And fiery auto crashes
    Some will die in hot pursuit
    While sifting through my ashes
    Some will fall in love with life
    And drink it from a fountain
    That is pouring like an avalanche
    Coming down the mountain
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  • fatcat458fatcat458 Member Posts: 436 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Daddy said Women were a 'Sometime Thing'. Sometimes you need em. Sometimes you Don't. ;)
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  • dreherdreher Member Posts: 8,891 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I have noticed in my life that couples rarely seem to be on the same sexual wave length. A really horney guy always seems to be paired with a woman who could care less about sex. A hot and bothered woman always seems to be paired with a man who would rather go to sleep than service his wife.


    When it comes to men/women and sex, God laughs!! We have provided Him with an unending source of entertainment!! :lol:
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  • diver-rigdiver-rig Member Posts: 6,338 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Mr. Perfect wrote:
    As Norm from Cheers once said: Women, can't live with em, can't shoot 'em.

    The actual quote is, and I do use it, is

    "Women, can't live with them, pass the beer nuts."
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  • Mr. PerfectMr. Perfect Member, Moderator Posts: 66,437 ******
    edited November -1
    diver-rig wrote:
    Mr. Perfect wrote:
    As Norm from Cheers once said: Women, can't live with em, can't shoot 'em.

    The actual quote is, and I do use it, is

    "Women, can't live with them, pass the beer nuts."
    I've heard it both ways.
    Some will die in hot pursuit
    And fiery auto crashes
    Some will die in hot pursuit
    While sifting through my ashes
    Some will fall in love with life
    And drink it from a fountain
    That is pouring like an avalanche
    Coming down the mountain
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  • select-fireselect-fire Member Posts: 69,524 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    You know why women have short feet? VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
    So they can stand closer to the sink to do the dishes.
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  • 11b6r11b6r Member Posts: 16,584 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    For her birthday, I got mine a new belt and a new bag.

    You'd think she'd be happy.

    Vacuum cleaner runs good as new now...?.
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  • BrookwoodBrookwood Member, Moderator Posts: 13,771 ******
    edited November -1
    35 Whelen wrote:
    Next time, just dive behind the couch NAKED, and heave chocolate bars over the top like hand grenades.

    THERE! I REALLY FIXED IT FOR YOU! :lol:
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